already married by court and trying to keep it on the DL for the REAL wedding

JMN, shame on your for making your sister's personal decision all about you. How many times do we complain about our families making our weddings all about what's right for them? Turnaround is fair play; you owe your sister a "no judgments" policy.

I agree with Deborah... your going to a wedding to celebrate that person's union. It shouldn't matter when it's done or your openions of their union it's a celebration of That Union, you dont' like it, don't go to the wedding. It should be about what makes that day special for that couple. If it means that one of them got health coverage so they could get their teeth done and smile pretty for the wedding and not feel bad about them self, well I say that's their buisness. Lane, I really hope your wedding is wonderful and great!

Not everyone that marries you (officiant) has to fill out a paper. I'm getting married in South Carolina. It is a "commitment ceremony" and is not legal in the state. SC doesn't recognize gay marriage unfortunately. Perhaps you could have your officiant do that instead. If, however, it's in a church and your close personal friend/priest is doing the ceremony, I think you might have to discuss this with him/her. Like someone else said, you might want to tell them during "confession" or some other "I'm going to tell you this but you can't let anyone know" sort of meeting. I don't know if the priests are allowed to just let you file your own license or not, so you most likely will have to tell him.

Deobarh L. I'm with you on this one. I'm putting myself in her shoes and if my sister got married without telling me...yes, I'd prolly be a little hurt that she didn't share the good news....but...I wouldn't be devestated..she's an adult and prolly had good reasons and it's no one's job to make you feel bad about making the choices you make.

I'm not sure what can be done here cus I'm getting married by an officiant and not in a church but I say come clean with the priest...he may surprise you. Or at least have options for you.

Here's my question: What do I need to do to have a courthouse wedding? I need to have the license FIRST right? Can I do the license on cert on the same day through the courthouse? Do I need to bring a witness or is there someone there that serves as a witness? My FH want to get married 30 days before our casual park setting wedding because I REALLY want my Dad to be the officiant, but he is only licensed in VA and I am in TN. So, we are gonna have the legal stuff done prior to our ceremony, and save our vows for the big day. Thanks for guidance!! And, good luck to you!! I think you have the right to do what you think is best for you and your husband/family. There may be some family members that (should they find out) be relieved to know you've been married all this time. AND, your inviting everyone that is dear to you to your ceremony so it's not like they are being left out of your big event. Ppl take things too seriously and make issues/drama out of things unnecessarily.

@ HEATHER EACH STATE IS DIFFERENT BUT WHERE I AM YOU HAVE TO PURCHASE YOUR WEDDING CERTIFICATE AT LEAST ONE DAY BUT NOT MORE THAN THIRTY DAYS PRIOR TO BEING MARRIED OTHER THAN THE LICENSE YOU NEED TO SPEAK WITH THE JUDGE OR JP THAT WILL BE DOING THE CEREMONY TO SEE WHAT THEY REQUIRE (FEES AND APPOINTMENTS) ADDITIONALLY YOU NEED TO TAKE TWO WITNESSES WITH YOU IN MOST PLACES

@Heather. Check your County Clerks website. It should be pretty easy to find on Google. They usually have all the procedure for the license spelled out. Keep in mind that there may be time restrictions. In my county, we had to have a 3 day waiting period and the license was only good for 30 days.

Let me see if I have this straight or not: you have been married for 2 years and are now planning your "offical" ceremony. You do not want anyone to know that you have been married for the last 2 years because it would cause a lot of hurt feelings. You are scheduled to be married by a priest (which typically means Catholic) that is also a close family friend. - Is that correct?

If the above it correct, I would just talk to your priest about the situation. There are a lot of different rules that has to be followed to complete a marriage ceremony in the catholic church - they will not (normally) marry you if the requirements are not met. Considering how close your date is - I'm assuming you are NOT catholic and are not bound by those rules. If you are not catholic I may still tell the minister - and see if they will work with you in this situation.

Try making a copy of ur marriage lisence and whiting out thw writing on the copy. The make a copy of that one. This might work.