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R
Beginner August 2020

Alot of kids per one family

Romy, on June 6, 2019 at 2:52 AM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 28

Need advice. One of the grooms sister has 5 kids and we are on a tight budget. Would it be rude to only invite some of them. Ages range from 2 yrs - 14yrs. It is a family of 7
Need advice. One of the grooms sister has 5 kids and we are on a tight budget. Would it be rude to only invite some of them. Ages range from 2 yrs - 14yrs. It is a family of 7

28 Comments

  • Bride2020
    Devoted May 2020
    Bride2020 ·
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    If the twins are your kids of course have them there, if you mean the twins as in your sibling has a set of twins you want there but you don't want your FHs siblings kids, that won't work. With such a small wedding, if you aren't close to these kids, I'd say no go on all kids besides your own.
    For reference, our wedding is 50 people. My FH has younger siblings, 12 and 15. Only one family we are inviting has kids (3 of them), we both have baby sat for these kids and are close-ish with the kids, and they are the best friends of his brothers, so we decided to invite them because it will be more enjoyable for his brothers and we know them so we know they are well behaved. If you think your twins will not have any fun sitting around at the wedding without kids their age, maybe consider inviting all nieces and nephews. If that comes to a small number, (say its just his sisters 5 kids so $200 for them all), I'd say that a price worth paying if it means your twins have wedding memories with kids their age. If you think the amount of nieces and nephews would over run your wedding, then don't have any kids invited besides your own.

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  • R
    Beginner August 2020
    Romy ·
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    Yes only my set of twins. Yes my kids will enjoy. They will have fimilar faces adult or not we know how to have a good time with them. If inviting all of his nieces and nephews that would equal out to 8 kids. 5 from one sister and 3 from the other. We have never babysat. He does OF COURSE attend all their birthdays but to give an example of how close. They have never been to our home and we have been together 9 years. We attended a backyard wedding and all the nieces and nephews attended and 3 younger ones were running around. Im just nervous they may over crowd 38 on my guest list if including nieces and nephews. I may just invite all but i will feel some type of way.
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  • Bride2020
    Devoted May 2020
    Bride2020 ·
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    9 Years and they've never been over and you've never babysat? Doesn't sound like they're close enough to invite the kids if the wedding is small like that. I would put Adults Only on the invite because she is family she might assume they are invited otherwise even if the kids aren't listed in the invite. If she asks because its so small I think it's very reasonable for you to say it's an intimate affair and you and FH prefer no kids, you want her to be able to relax without the little ones, if she pushes you can be even more honest. "It's just a very small venue and we love the kids but this is more of an adult event, if we invite everyone's kids we would start to get a bit outnumbered as adults! We would love to have you all over sometime after the honeymoon to celebrate if the kids are disappointed at all!" If she is traveling offer up the name of a babysitter in the area you know is good but sounds like she lives nearby. Your request is reasonable even at a big wedding but I am sure she will understand with the size.

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  • R
    Beginner August 2020
    Romy ·
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    Yes 9 years. I am a little relieve especially how you put it in words. And this isnt the only sister with kids and if i were to invite all 8 sibling then i would be obligated to do so with my own nieces and nephews which are 15/16 of age and close cousins. Alot of commentor suggested not to split up the families. His siblings has age range 2-14 My neice who we are close with and has babysat are 14 and 15 i need them there. My thoughts were to invite only the teens.. Should it be an age range or just ADULTS ONLY
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  • Emily
    Super April 2020
    Emily ·
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    This is our issue. A tough situation because we don't want kids at our wedding for various reasons but my FH has a lot of kids in the family. We decided on 16 years and up because they're somewhat responsible and can be left alone if needed and we can't split up families. My FH has an aunt with his cousin in our bridal party so we need to invite his younger siblings (18 and 16). We are having an open bar and I don't feel comfortable having kids younger than that around that much alcohol.

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  • Chanie
    Dedicated April 2021
    Chanie ·
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    This is why I said no kids at my wedding because most of my family member have 3+ kids.

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  • Bride2020
    Devoted May 2020
    Bride2020 ·
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    If you invite your nieces and nephews, you will need to invite his. As suggested, definitely would NOT do a “teen” cutoff. Needs to be 18+ or 21+. Only exception I could see is if you had one niece or nephew there who’s “job” (even if it was fake just so you could have them) was to watch your twins if they are toddler age. In short, you need to decide if it’s worth it to have all of BOTH of your nieces and nephews to have the two you really want, or if your twins are young enough, pick a niece to “keep an eye on them.” Picking both would probably be too obvious that you just want them there.
    At the end of the day, you know your family. If they are relaxed enough about their relationship with you that they’d say “oh it’s fine that those girls are here and not my kids, i know they’re close to them and not us!” then sure. But this is probably a pretty rare occurrence. They more likely will be upset that you had your nieces and not his.
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  • Renee
    Super October 2020
    Renee ·
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    As a mom of 6, I'd be pretty p***ed off if my sister told me only certain kids could come to her wedding. Not to mention, my kids would be hurt. They'd want to why they couldn't come to their aunt's wedding and the other kids could. Yes, it would be rude to split up the family, especially close family like that

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