Alot of kids per one family

How does your FH feels about this???

View Quoted Comment He seems to understand but i think we both know we will get backlash

View Quoted Comment Honestly, if I was her and you tell me only certain kids can come to your wedding but then I see other kids the same age of the ones I couldn’t bring id be a little hurt and upset.. is there any other way you can cut and be able to keep the whole family together?? Or save up a little more?? Or you can make the wedding toddlers free? But I wouldn’t tell her she can’t bring some of her kids but yet allow someone else to do so..

Have you selected a venue/caterer already? Typically kids cost less than adults and kids under 2 are often free. To me, it depends how small your wedding is and how many other kids there will be. If your wedding is super small, like 20 or less people, and there are only a few other infants/toddlers expected than I think you could just say no children (just inviting babies) to resolve it. Otherwise I think it would be very objectionable to not invite the entire family. Does your fiance not mind his nephews/nieces not being there?

I would invite all of the kids or none. I would be a little annoyed if one of my daughters was invited to an event and not the other.
I also agree with Sarah, our price for kids is $40 vs $120.

Honestly, if my sibling chose to invite only some of my children to their wedding and not all or none, I wouldn’t attend the wedding and I would no longer have a relationship with my sibling. How exactly would you determine which of your nieces and nephews are important enough to include? Invite all of them or invite no children, but you can’t do this and expect it to go well.

Unless you have a cut-off that is consistent among all guests, yes, I think it is rude. It also seems like out of any children you guys would want there, nieces/nephews would be at the top of the list. If you want to exclude children, you could only allow kids from immediate family (sibling's kids) or something similar...or not allow any kids at all. I don't think they should be punished because they have 5 kids and someone else only has 2.

...yes, that would be rude. You can’t arbitrarily select kids from a family to invite. You could invite no kids across the board, but you can’t just decide to invite half a family. Especially when they’re nieces and nephews of the groom.

View Quoted Comment Definitely agree— you don’t have to invite every kid across the board, but of all kids I think nieces and nephews are probably the most important. If you want to cut some kids, I’d eliminate some other circle (like cousins or cousins children or something). With kids, it’s fine to follow circles , but you can’t draw arbitrary lines within circles. (Ex: we had only kids of immediate family— so, my brother’s daughter was invited, but my cousin‘s children were not)

Super rude. All of the family or only the adults. Nieces and nephews are important. Remember that snubs can sometimes cost more than money in the long run.

Ummm... I def. think you cannot just invite a couple of her kids and forget the rest. That would be very rude.

I have to say, this threw me off quite a bit. I cannot wrap my head around only inviting part of a family. That would be so weird and rude. As a parent myself, if you told me 3 out of 5 of my kids aren't invited, then the rest of my family isn't going to attend either. I feel as if you should either invite them all or none. And really, it's only appropriate to invite none if you are having a kid free wedding. Additionally, this is his sister...therefore a close family member. It's not like a random guest, so it's even more important to include all of them. Everyone is on a tight budget, so if you can't afford to invite the entire family of 7, then you need to get rid of some other guests or find a way to cut costs elsewhere (serve cheaper food, find a cheaper venue....anything other than telling someone only half their kids can come).

I would think it would be semi rude. If you are having an age cutoff, you should make sure that any families are not split up. Or do no kids or immediate family kids only, in which all nieces and nephews would be invited.

With the ages so close, you definitely would have to do all or none. And if it's none, this isn't just a random guest, it's his sister. If she can't have her kids, you can't let random guests bring theirs just because they only have one or two kids. You'd have to do no kids in my opinion.
Figure out your price per kid, it's a lot cheaper than you think, if you tell your caterer 12 and under is chicken fingers and fries, you should be good.
Understandable if you want no kids because you don't like them. Understandable if you want no kids to give adults the ability to relax. Understandable if you think they're too loud, would make guests with kids leave early, if you just don't have the room at the venue, if you're having a small wedding, if you have a kid heavy crowd and the cost for ALL kids adds up...but to not invite your 5 nieces and nephews due to cost who, IF you're pricing high at $40 a pop will cost you $200 to have them all there, when the average ONE adult wedding guest costs $250...not gonna go over well. 100%, don't invite half of families, not to random families but DEF not to his sisters family, and don't do a cut off that's no kids under 14 or 15 or something, it would have to be at 18 or 21.

Unless you have a general age you are only inviting people if they are above that, then yes it's rude to only invite some. In my opinion, the only age limit that makes sense is 21+. So you can have an adult only wedding if you don't want to include kids?

I think it would be a little weird to only invite like half the kids if you get me. it's kind of like either all of them or none of them.

I understand everyones point of view. I just looked at it as there will be no kids from my side but our Twins. I figured there should be a limit to AGE or AMOUNT when there are mulitple kids from each family memeber. I do not want it to become a 'birthday party'-ish. But I do understand the niece and nephew THING. I guess i can deal with 10 kids. This is stressful lol i can say that. The last thing i want is to hurt anyones feelings.

View Quoted Comment So it would be better to just have a no kid wedding. Invitation should state 21+?

View Quoted Comment Ok gotcha. I thought at least invite the teens. I figured to invite none would be even more weird. But i guess i will stick with no kids AT ALL. i have only adults from my side and if kids were invited there would be 10 kids out of 38 guest.

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I agree!! Its a tough situation. But unless you have already specified that its a certain age and above for EVERYONE, I don't think you should split the family for the night.