All in one moment.

There are too many cooks in the kitchen, your mom told family friend to put in the order for your wedding cake with out your knowledge? Time to handle the vendors and remaining details on your own. My church won't even work with wedding planners because it always causes to much confusion and mistakes. Orders, plans, payments and details should be worked out with the vendor and Bride and Groom only. The only exception is if your parent's are paying for said vendor.

Hey Kristian! I’m really sorry that you are feeling like this and that there is confusion and tensions between your family and wedding party. It’s hard to process situations like this when you know that everyone has your best interest at heart.

Is it possible to ask you mom and FMIL to step back from your wedding planning and try to enjoy being a guest and concentrating on having exciting roles such as Mother of the Bride and Groom?

You may need their assistance with different tasks as the wedding draws closer but you will need to ask them to wait until you have specifically asked them to do something before they take it into their own hands.

I know this may be a difficult conversation to have but you can merely explain that you’re trying to avoid any confusion, mix up and hurt feelings like what has happened previously.