Alcohol under 21?

I would give the venue a heads up and also tell her that you aren't paying for alcohol for him because hes not 21. We don't have to pay for our open bar for anyone who is under 21, not sure if you can do the same but hey she wont know lol.

Honestly, I drank at my cousins wedding when I was 19. My dad got me a beer, after that, I just walked up to the bar with an empty and got something else. No one ever checked or asked. That was in IL, where it is not legal for minors to drink under any circumstance. I also live in WI where minors can drink, at public establishments, with an of age, legal guardian but all establishments have the right to refuse based on preference. Again, not really anything I have ever really thought about. Not saying its right or wrong, just giving my experience. As far as there being cops around, the ones I know don't really care when they are off duty so I think, a lot of times anyway, its kind of a weak excuse. Personally, I would just let it be. It kind of sounds like they are going to do what they want regardless of what you ask. I also think that is the establishment's responsibility, not yours. I think if you mention it, they'll be looking for it and it could backfire on you with fines or whatever. If you say nothing it's more likely everything will go without a hitch.

Again, just my thoughts and experiences, but you need to do what makes you feel comfortable.

I personally wouldn't worry about this. It's on the bartenders to ID people and enforce this. Do you go to bars and report anyone who might look too young to be drinking? Or ask the bartenders at the bar if they 100% checked all IDs in the room? Probably not.

I would also think, if this kid is dumb enough to be under age drinking at this event that is apparently full of cops...well that's on him too.

I also definitely wouldn't think your wedding would get shut down if an on-duty officer somehow stumbled upon the fact that there was 1 person underage drinking. He'd probably just write that 1 person a ticket and tell the bartenders to do better.

My younger brother will be 20 when we get married, it's not going to surprise me if he sneaks a beer or 2 at the wedding. He's 20, that's his risk to take. I'm going to have way more things to worry about than an adult I'm not personally responsible for deciding to drink illegally at an event.

Personal thoughts... its a lot to ask your guests to all have their IDs. If they are a passenger and not driving they may not have it on them especially if its an open bar and they aren't bring their wallets because they don't have to pay for alcohol. I would refer to your contract with the bartenders. Personally in mine if anyone under the age of 21 is caught drinking they will be removed, we will be hit with a fine and they could close down our wedding so they are strict. Its impossible to really set strict rules because the bartenders/ guests will do as they please. My cousin was drinking at the bar at my brothers wedding when she was like 19 or 20 because tehy didn't check IDs and she sent her Boyfriend up to get drinks just incase. Its tough but telling them to check IDs could cause issues for of age guests that didn't think about it. But you also know your crowd. You could just give the bartenders a heads up about the underage guests as well. I would speak with FH about it.

I am a bartender (well sales now but i was a bartender for 5 years) and I worked a lot of holiday parties, corporate events and weddings and it was very rare we checked IDs because we enter into a contract before hand with the people we are providing services for (but there could have been something in there that said there were no guests under 21).

I will follow all of this up with not all bartenders are professional.... sometimes they are just looking for the tips and don't care whose giving it..... By no means do I condone underage serving and I think ALL your guests should have ID on them I'm just thinking stuff happens.... I would definitely talk to FH about it though. My wedding we have an open bar and they may check IDs they may not but all our guests are over 21 EXCEPT the children that are there and they are very clearly children.

Mine will ID they said and if they catch anyone serving anyone under age our party is shut down immediately so I would have no problem making sure that your bartenders card or that your DOC, if you have one, knows to watch out for that if you are worried about it.

I drank a lot at my older sister's wedding and I was 19.

It really comes down to your feelings on it.

My daughters venue wrote right on the contract that no one under 21 can drink and if one is caught, the wedding will be shut down. (She already let her poor brother, who turns 21 12 days after the wedding(!) know but he understood) You can tell her/them something like this and it puts the blame on the venue and off you.