Alcohol at a wedding

I went to a sober wedding recently. The bridal party and some of the guest were sneaking drinks under the table and in the parking lot. They spent more time outside than the actual reception.

View Quoted Comment That's what I was thinking would happen.

I agree with Clarissa. While dry weddings can be a blast, you run the risk of having guests and bridal party members sneaking in drinks. Personally I wouldn't want that because 1) They aren't respecting your decision as a couple; 2) I wouldn't want my guests sneaking off to drink instead of enjoying their time with everyone else!

This can often times be a sensitive issue for some people, so I hope you two can come up with a compromise!

My brother had a dry wedding. But not by choice! When they spoke to the venue manager, they were told beer and wine would be fine. Then, she snuck in no alcohol in the contract without them knowing! The exact same thing happened as the previous person posted. Everyone had alcohol in their vehicles and would congregate in the back parking lot, drinking and talking. Almost no one danced. And by the end of the evening, even the bride and groom ended up at the bar across the street, two hours before the reception was supposed to end!
If your friends and family enjoy celebrating with cocktails, then my suggestion would be to make them available to them. Your husband doesn’t have to drink, and neither do his family/friends, if they don’t want to. But I don’t see the sense in punishing you and half your guests just because the other half doesn’t drink.

I think most will expect alcohol at a wedding so if you end up having a dry wedding many will be disappointed (mostly your side it seems). If you spread the word that there won’t be alcohol at the wedding, you run into the risk of people either drinking before heading to your wedding (and possibly being drunk before it even starts) or guests sneaking alcohol into your wedding which is a liability issue for the venue. My afterparty venue had a stipulation in the contract that said if any of our guests were caught with outside alcohol, we would be charged $1k.


Unfortunately, you also run the risk of the wedding ending earlier than expected because people are “bored”. From my experience, weddings without alcohol usually had guests leaving soon after dinner and not many people would dance.
I mean, will his side have a horrible time and feel uncomfortable if there’s drinking and alcohol at the wedding? I personally think providing alcohol is just part of trying to be a good host. I know weddings are supposed to be about the couple, but when my husband and I were planning our wedding (and to be honest, any event we’re hosting), we planned it with our guests comfort and enjoyment in mind. What would make it a fun night for our loved ones? Our wedding was our way of saying “thank you” for their support and love throughout the years so we wanted to make sure we spoiled them. It was our “love letter” to them. The ceremony was for us, the reception was for them. That’s just us our take on it though. I know lots of people who are firm on the stance that the wedding should be ALL about the couple. And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just a matter of you and your fiancé trying to figure out what’s most important for you guys outside of you guys tying the knot. Is it not running the risk of having anyone get too drunk? Is it having your reception be so fun that it runs late into the night?
I’ve been to a wedding where the bride and groom were recovering alcoholics and they still provided alcohol for their guests. Usually you can request the bartenders to cut off anyone if they look like they’ve had too much. I had my coordinator and her team on alert for anyone who was getting too sloppy and needed to be cut off. However, our threshold for sloppy was very far out there that thankfully no one was cut off. Lol.

I would definitely try to avoid a dry wedding if at all possible

I've attended countless receptions that did not have any alcohol at all. Typically they are cake and punch events in the church fellowship hall. Guests mingle 2-3 hrs because there's no dancing or other entertainment (again due to church restrictions) and guests go home. Everyone has a great time.


You both need to be on the same page. Figure out a compromise because there is a lifetime of them ahead. Just because something is offered doesn't mean it's expected that everyone partake if they're uncomfortable. Have a something fun for the nondrinkers out of the norm: Italian sodas or flavored lemonade or a hot cocoa bar.
Do not mention before the wedding that it's dry. If people can't have fun without alcohol for 4 hours, then they have bigger problems. That includes bringing in flasks, etc.

View Quoted Comment His family isn't uncomfortable with it. My family Are respectful and wouldn't get sloppy drunk lol

It all depends on your guests. Neither of our families drink (my side is religious and his side doesn't care for it/heath reasons, and I will not be 21 so it would be illegal anyway lol. If you are worried about people leaving to drink I would have a couple options available, and those who don't want to drink, wont! Personally I think that the expectation of needing alcohol to have fun is ridiculous, so if you decide not to serve any, then your guests will have to deal and it's their loss if they throw a fit about it.

View Quoted Comment Then I don’t see why your fiancé is so concerned about serving alcohol. I think the beer/wine only is a great compromise! If he and his side don’t want to drink then they don’t need to. As long as they have non-alcoholic drink options, they should be fine. I mean you could even offer a mocktails for non-alcoholic drinkers if you wanted something fun for them.

View Quoted Comment Im not for sure why he's anti alcohol. Im sure we can come up with a compromise

I personally wouldn't want to attend a dry wedding. Maybe limit the amount of drinks that people can have so they won't get "too drunk"?

We only had alcohol at my wedding because my husband wanted it. I don't drink and neither does moat of my family. My dad is also a recovering alcoholic. My brother and his wife didn't have alcohol at their wedding which was totally fine and we still had fun.

It’s an appreciated courtesy to take care of your guests. If some drink alcohol, it’s nice to have that option for them. The people who don’t drink alcohol don’t have to drink the alcohol.

View Quoted Comment If you have no concerns about your family or friends over indulging, then I don’t see why you would need to have a dry wedding. I’m sure his family goes out to restaurants where other diners are drinking alcohol around them. This is really no different.

Thank you everybody he has decided that it's not as big of a deal then he thought. Reading through these comments. He said I understand what they mean and said ok its a go!

I prefer dry weddings. Been to several alcohol ones where people acted a fool after getting intoxicated.

View Quoted Comment I’m glad you guys could work through it. Now you can move on to other planning yayyyy

Personally, I would never have a dry wedding. I’ve been to one and they are not nearly as fun as weddings with alcohol. People definitely loosen up and dance more when there are some drinks available. That being said, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a dry wedding.

I flat out don't drink. But we had alcohol at our wedding, because most of our friends do.

This is a know your crowd, and make a decision together. But, as others have said.. when there isn't alcohol, and your crowd drinks... they will leave early.