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Just Said Yes October 2022

After Party Needed????

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Kelly, on February 7, 2022 at 11:26 AM

Hi all! I need some advice. My wedding ceremony and reception are taking place at the same venue (100 person max wedding) and I can only have the reception until 9pm. Usually I’d be okay with this (bc I’m guessing I’ll be so tired and want to spend 1:1 time w hubs) but everyone keeps saying how everyone will want to hang out longer and that when the day comes I’ll want the night to be longer. So we were thinking about wedding after party from 9-11/12pm. I’ve looked up some local bars that might be 13-15mins away and close at 11pm. But the issue is I don’t have much of a budget for after-party. Also all my friends keep saying I need to provide transportation for the after party then too like a bus since people will be drinking. Also it’s a pretty local wedding so some out of town guests will be staying at a hotel but not everyone. I’m not sure what to do because I really don’t have a budget for that. And I think 30-50 people might stay for an after party? There is another option to have a gathering after at a friends lake house close by… not sure what to do about after party location or transportation for this with a tight budget!

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Just Said Yes February 2023
Samantha · on February 11, 2022 at 9:08 AM
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Does the hotel offer any type of informal after-party where the guests can just return, purchase their own drinks, etc? You absolutely do not have to provide transportation to the after-party! It is completely up to the guests if they want to make their way over to the hotel! I hope this helps & congratulations!!!
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Devoted September 2022
Crystal · on February 11, 2022 at 9:38 AM
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Our venue is almost two hours away from where we live. I don’t see us driving all the way to my parents house after a long day of “wedding’ing” at like 11 at night, arrive around 12:30/1, party, and then have to drive back to our hotel to check out and have brunch the next morning. That’s too much. But maybe an after party the following day could work work her. My wedding is on a Sunday so I’m sure most guests are leaving the next day. But if her wedding is on a Fri/Sat maybe maybe the next day they’ll have more energy and can actually focus on guests rather than worry about the wedding.
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Dedicated November 2021
Elizabeth · on February 11, 2022 at 5:03 PM
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This is exactly what I would do and what we were planning before it became clear most of our guests weren't going to be OK with going to an indoor public place anyway thanks to COVID. Half of our guests were gone by 9 p.m. anyway, we didn't even get to make the rounds to all the tables bc by the time we got through all the usual wedding stuff many people had left. Once the reception I ended I probably would've been up for another few hours of hanging out with people in a more relaxed setting - but if I knew we had it planned and I couldn't back out of it, I probably would've been dreading it earlier in the day. So, I think telling people "we're going to X bar" only if you're feeling it in the moment sounds perfect - just don't make any promises in advance! See who's still around by 8:30 or so and then start spreading the word if you're up for it. Good idea to call around to the bars in the area in advance and see if any of them would have an issue with a group of 30-40 showing up around that time of the night, just so you know what your options are. And ask how late their kitchens stay open since people might have the late-night munchies and want to order food. Just don't make any commitments to the bars either, of course.
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Savvy October 2022
Lindsay · on February 12, 2022 at 12:51 AM
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If you don’t have the budget for it and it doesn’t sound like this is necessarily your idea, it is not your responsibility to plan for something.
Everyone is an adult. And can make their own arrangements.. And you can suggest places that may be of interest to those who do want to continue the celebration. But I do not think it is right for people to make this something you provide for them. If you change your mind and want to go with them to the bar after, you have that right! But you are already spending money on a wedding and a reception.. you don’t owe them a after party too
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Devoted December 2022
Orianna · on February 13, 2022 at 4:40 PM
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My feelings is take all the "this is what you should do" things and throw them away. Don't do anything you don't really want to do just because people are saying you should. We're not having an "official" after party, but inviting a small group of people our age (vs all our relatives and parents friends) to where we are staying to hang out after our reception ends at 10pm. I'm going to have some light snacks and drinks there, but if anyone wants something specific - they're gonna have to get it themselves. They're also going to have to get themselves to our location.
I agree with a previous post, it sounds a lot like your friends want you to pay for them to drink the rest of the night. If its not something you want to do, then don't! If you want to, don't feel obligated to pay for it or pay for transportation. You could let the guests you want to party further with know "we'll be heading to [insert bar/location here] to continue celebrating our union. Refreshments will be available for purchase." or something to the ilk. If you decide to do it, and don't want to pay (don't blame you!) just make it clear that you won't be.
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