After Party Needed????

I am not a party person, so this may be why I see it this way, but no where in your post did it seem as though you or your fiancé WANT an afterparty. And if that's the case, then don't plan one! If that day comes and you guys all want to meet up at a bar, then that can happen. As far as transportation, how do those people plan on getting back to wherever they're staying the night at? Just because your friends feel as though you need to add something to your wedding does not mean you should have to come up with the funds to figure out how to make it work if you don't actually want it.

Every after party I have been to, you pay your own way. The couple have already paid for me to eat and drink at their wedding. After the wedding, anything extra (drinks, additional transportation) I would assume would be on me. But maybe that's just my area..

Since you think you’ll probably be tired and ready to spend time alone with your new husband after your wedding, I wouldn’t plan an official after party. If the night comes, and the two of you still feel like drinking/partying, you can just tell everyone you are going to X Bar and they can join you if they want. That way you are not committing to anything in case you are too tired/don’t feel like it, and also not paying for people’s drinks and/or transportation.

Our reception went until 10pm and we had an unofficial after party in our hotel's lobby - it was a lot of fun! I don't think H and I went to bed until like 2:30am but spending time with our guests was high on our priority list. We provided our own alcohol at the wedding so we brought the leftovers in and others brought beer as well. We organized a room block at our hotel, which provided a free shuttle to/from our venue - guests either utilized that or had a designated driver. Guests who weren't staying at the hotel but wanted to hang out for a bit longer came too. It was really low-key and nice to sit and chat since we spent the entire reception on the dance floor.

With that said - an after party is definitely not needed, but also doesn't have to be a super organized event! We just had our DJ make an announcement at the end of the reception.

Don't throw an after party if you don't want to/can't afford to. Next time someone brings it up you can ask them to host one if they'd like. Or make it super casual and at the wedding let people know you're planning on hanging out at a bar after. If worded like that I wouldn't expect it to be some planned event that the couple is paying for.

I also wanted to add that you are absolutely not responsible for transportation for said after party. These are all adults and if they want to drink they should be responsible enough to arrange their own transportation!

What time does the reception start? If it starts at 7pm and it's only 2 hours long, then I would consider an after party. But if you're starting the reception at 5pm and therefore it's a good 4-hr event, I don't see a need for it. Especially if you don't have it in the budget. Don't feel pressured to make it happen. You'd be adding the cost of another event, especially with transportation.
We attended a wedding that had an after party where the couple rented a party bus to take a bunch of people to their house for a backyard party. It only lasted a little while because everyone had been drinking and we were really tired. Guests were expected to take an Uber home, which was ok with me because we took Uber to the wedding. But it's not that would have been inconvenient to get back to the car and then drive home.

If you don't want an after party then say you don't and you don't think you'll be up for it anyway. If you don't mind having one make it clear it your not spending the extra money toward it. We're going bar hopping after dinner and we are letting people know we are not paying for this part of the night.

We didn’t properly throw an after party, but we told our guests the bar we were planning to head to after we wrapped things up. It worked well to name a place bc our guests went and hung out even before we managed to get over there….some of our guests came and went before we even showed up but they still had a good time bc they were just able to continue the party.

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I think this is a good solution to save the budget. I've been to other weddings that had this kind of "unofficial" after party at a nearby bar and it worked out fine.

I'd like to know who "everybody" is lol - because it sounds like they just want to pay for them to drink some more. When our reception was over, H and I were exhausted. It's a *very* long day and, despite the fact that it's a happy event, it's still stressful. You probably won't sleep wonderfully well the night before either. Plus, you probably are going to want that one on one with your H.

You definitely don't have to have anything at all. If you get to the end of the reception, and you really do want to continue hanging out with everyone, you have the DJ announce that the bride and groom are going to "X place" if people want to go too.

Even if you were having an official event, though, you do not need to provide transportation.

I think if they want to continue to party and go to a local place that’s fine I don’t think that you should have to provide the transportation you may want to make an appearance there but I shouldn’t think that you should have to pay for the transportation or for any other drinks or food at that venue. You have provided what you were able to add the party if they decide to go somewhere else that’s up to them that should not be your responsibility

My mom said the same thing to me when I told her the wedding was over at 10. She thought that was ridiculous and she must throw an afterparty because 10pm is unheard of in our culture. I told her go ahead, I'm going to bed!

So my answer is, let them party if they want to! People are probably coming from out of town and want to use up all the time they have. You don't have to go, and if you do, make a plan to show your face and bounce! It will be a longggg day.... prepare wisely!

Party buses are very expensive. Honestly you should talk with the 30-50 people and let them know weddings are expensive and that this wasn't something you planned in your budget. Then I would say but if we all pitch in some money then we can rent a place somewhere like a cabin. Usually less than $500 it would be $10-16 each depending on who's coming and maybe if it's in your budget often to buy some beer and a few bottles

This is a know your crowd thing. In some circles, the party ends as soon as the last dance is played if there is a dj or when the couple does the send off mid afternoon after a short and sweet cake reception. In other circles, the party is moved to another location. In that case, guests pay their own way and figure out their own transportation, either carpool with a designated driver or call an Uber. Also it doesn’t make sense to move the party if you want to keep it going when you can get a venue with a very late curfew or none at all, and end whenever you want. In some cultures and circles the party is barely getting started and an industry standard 4 hour reception will not work. Based on our experiences as guests, we have never come across an after party situation at a a bar or other establishment for the entire guest list because people choose a longer reception. If guests want to catch up beyond that, they will be invited to someone’s home or make their own arrangements to meet up elsewhere.


If you can’t afford it, that’s ok. Don’t let anyone pressure you into anything outside your comfort zone and budget.

If you don't want to have an after party then you totally don't have to! But I will say that we had one and I'm so glad we did because it was a lot of fun and it gave us even more time to spend with our friends. We chose a pub that was down the street from our hotel block. We did NOT provide transportation there (people took Ubers). My husband and I ordered some snack type food for people but everybody bought their own drinks. I doubt we spent more than a couple hundred dollars.

So we have a venue that is kinda secluded, and we have set up a block of rooms at a hotel where a lot of guests will be staying and we will also stay there for the night. Our venue needs us out by 10:15 so I emailed the hotel out of respect to see if there was a place we could congregate without disrupting other hotel guests and they said we could use the pool deck and patio til 12.
I personally wouldn’t tack on an extra expense to have an after party…if you want to hang out somewhere after just let people know where and if they come that’s on them. You plan so much already, don’t stress and feel like you have to throw a part after the party 💕

Due to I know my friends will probably want to party after our reception is literally walking distance from our room and the nearest bar. I am assuming ill be tired so I'm not planning to go out. but the after-party is not on you. everybody is responsible for themselves. The only thing I would do is inform my guest of where they can go for a party after my wedding if they still feel up to it. Other than that you aren't required to do anything else. Every wedding I've been to has been that way.

If you host dinner and reception until 9, you're not obliged to throw yet another party. I wouldn't plan anything formal. You might be grateful for the early night!

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100% agree with Crystal. I'm not sure why you "should" have an A.P if neither you nor your FH want it.

" my friends keep saying I need to provide transportation for the after party": since when you have to plan or do anything for a party you don't even want? LOL. These friends have lost their minds! If you give them that, the next step will be: " You need to pay for our drinks, snacks,games". Seriously ...

" I told her go ahead, I'm going to bed" I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE this line!