After-party guests

I don't know, I personally would be ok with it but I just have a feeling there's people who wouldn't be

How many people were invited to your wedding? If you had a really small wedding (like, under 50 people, and it was mostly family) then I think that's fine to have an after party to celebrate with other friends. But if you're having like a 100-200 person event, and I wasn't important enough to be one of your top 100 people to host but was "important" enough to pay for myself to celebrate with you afterwards, I'd be pretty off-put honestly.

We are having 150, however I have a large family and my mom insisted that they all be invited so 70 people are just from MY side of the family. My fiance has a TON of friends because he plays sports. We do plan on providing both snacks and liquor at the afterparty, just not $150 per person worth and we of course would not be expecting gifts either.

Just like pre-wedding events, I wouldn't invite anyone who isn't invited to the wedding, to post wedding events. I feel like it's super awkward to have wedding guests come talk about how beautiful the wedding was with a bunch of people who weren't invited.

Please don’t. I know you mean well but some friends may be hurt or offended.

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I agree with this.

I don't get butt hurt over things like that so I would be happy to be thought of at all.

I wouldn’t do it myself because it would feel like I’m throwing a “B list” party. I think guests understand that everyone can’t be invited to the wedding. So I wouldn’t want to have an event that reinforces the fact that they weren’t invited. Maybe have an anniversary party at the house and include them as well.

Are you talking about an after-party immediately following your ceremony and reception, or more like an open house a month later? Personally, if I was invited to something later the night of the actual wedding, and many others at that gathering had been AT the wedding, I would feel super awkward, and, honestly, like it was a rude thing to do. ("I wasn't good enough for the wedding, but I can come eat chips & drink at your house???" And, I get that's probably not what you'd intend, but I might take it that way.) If you have a non-wedding related open house or bbq or something on a completely separate day/time, I wouldn't think twice about it (but, I don't think it should be presented as an extension of the actual wedding celebration, just a big gathering of friends).

The first option is pretty much the definition of a "tiered wedding," which a lot of people find rude. Like so many things, I guess it's a "know your crowd" decision. (Also, just because you wouldn't expect gifts, inviting people to a wedding after party they might FEEL like it's a "gift grab," whether you intend it that way or not.) Good luck! Managing the guest list & budget are two of the toughest parts of wedding planning....

View Quoted Comment Same! Some people are so worried about stupid things, I'd be happy that I was thought of enough to be invited, regardless of it being a "after" party, because I still get to celebrate with you and understand that not everyone could fit in the budget. I am having the same problem, we have 180 people we are inviting thus far, and 90% of that is JUST family. I'm having no choice but to cut out some beloved coworkers because we just can't afford it. I think your idea is great, and if anyone is truly hurt over something like that, they have got bigger issues 🤷🤦

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I meant an after-party directly following the reception but it's not at our home. It's at a bar/restaurant and we will provide food and booze for everyone. No gifts are expected and the of course will not receive any registry or gifting info so I'm not sure why it'd seem like a gift grab. Luckily, I think the friends that we have in mind know better than to think that is the reason behind it. I just threw my fiance a 40th bday party with food and booze provided and no one brought gifts. lol

This would only be okay with friends. Family members would definitely find it rude

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Great! Like I said, it's all about knowing your crowd. If your crowd is in to it, it sounds like a great solution to your problem. No one on this forum knows your crowd better than you do!

I agree with Brittany. I'm doing an after party directly after my reception and I'm totally fine of some friends show up who weren't invited to the wedding. I think a lot of friends would be fine with this. But family would not appreciate it and I'd never hear the end of it from them.

I'd feel pretty awkward if I were only invited to the afterparty, show up and see many others in their wedding finery talking about a party I wasn't invited to.

I wouldn't do this. I'd never attend an after party for a wedding I wasn't invite too, it would feel super weird! I'd just have a larger reception and have cheaper food/drinks/venue/flowers/etc.

I’m a pretty laid back person, but with a wedding the size of yours, I would be offended to only be invited to the after-party. I also would feel obligated to bring you a gift which would annoy me. I’d go and still be your friend and not have any lasting resentment over it, but I would be annoyed.

We’re doing the same thing and our people like that idea. We have 100 people invited. And after party for the rest

View Quoted Comment If it's just like his sports friends I think it's fine. They are probably more of a beer at the bar relationship anyway. I used to be on a bar league softball team and I'd not think to invite the people from the team to the wedding, especially the guys. Guys aren't as uptight on etiquette and don't tend to take things with such offense as women do.

View Quoted Comment I would be fine with this. I would be happy just to celebrate you & ur FH.