After Party after the reception??

Everyone and still keep it cost effective. We would rather put a lot of money into our house, more so than into a wedding. If we do it this way we can keep under 15k maybe even closer to 12k which is much better that's our original 20k budget. What do you guys think about this? Thanks in advance for any suggestions and tips

No. Invite the IMMEDIATE family you must and call it a day. As in moms, dads, siblings and S/o's, You can't tier these things; when your 'intimate' party ends up at 90, the other 80 think they aren't good enough to be at the 'real' reception. Which is true.

And if you think people won't talk, you're wrong. Especially the ones you want to have cook for you.

Back to the drawing board. This is a bad, rude idea.

No tiered weddings and no self catering. Everyone at the after party will know they are the B-List. Also, self catering is a big no no. Its more time consuming and stressful that you would think. Also, there is a good chance of food poisoning.

Chrissy I must agree with Celia on this one. I say invite who you can/must to the ceremony and reception and skip the after party. Seems like it will be a lot of work for people and I think in the end it will be more stress for you.

My main issue with it is I think it's rude. If I was not invited to the "VIP reception" I would probably not want to go to the second one. Unless I didn't like you at all and just wanted free alcohol. Also, you really think your family and friends are going to want to spend 12+ hours with you? That's a long day. Especially if you start drinking mid-day. And your FH's family is really going to want to cook after a full 6 hours spent at the ceremony and first reception? Won't they need to be prepping the food during the first reception? BTW, potluck is pretty widely frowned upon here, just a warning.

Do not try to cook for 150. Your guests don't need to be cooking and cleaning. Also, food sanitation is a huge issue. Don't food poison your guests. Just no.

Why can't you just do the reception at the American Legion Hall if you want a more affordable option? Don't insult people by having a nice reception they can't come to while still inviting them to the self-catered cheap party.

Ok ladies, you guys are making valid points. I didn't even think about the whole food poisoning issue. Back to the drawing board. I don't have a lot of family and friends but he does and I guess I/he was trying to find a cost effective way to make it work to have everybody without breaking our pockets. Ugh! I guess back to the drawing board.

I would suggest, if your 20k budget is available to you that you would utilize it and invite everyone to the reception and skip the after party. Personally I think after parties unnecessary and people are starting to confuse them as an acceptable and cheaper way to invite guests they couldn't afford at the reception, which is rude to your guests.

Perhaps you might find a way to scale back on the reception that it may accommodate everyone if you wish to stay closer to 12-15K. For example, have a large catered BBQ reception with simple sides.

We posted at the same time.....Good Luck!

@ Rachel L we really like the venue to have an outdoor ceremony and keep the reception there too because it's convenient . I /he weren't really trying to be insulting. Didn't think of it as a B list. But I definitely can see where you guys are coming from. I'm glad I asked. You guys help me to see things from the inside out. Thanks we will rework the guest list and see if we can squeeze in some more. We don't want to not invite everyone. Decisions, decisions.

Good point @MrsA2B that could possibly work. Thanks

I'd be more concerned with the time. If I was invited to a wedding afterparty that didn't start until 8pm because of a wedding and reception, I wouldn't go. Also, you might very well be tired after the reception.

Either have your reception at the American legion hall and invite all or only invite immediate family (parents, grandparents and siblings only) with a small reception for only those people and no after party. The idea you have is called a "tiered" wedding and is exterely rude.

Saw your comments after I posted. Glad you are rethinking.

Don't tier the guests, it's insulting even if it's not the intentions. Your guests won't know the exact reason why.

I'm having an after party but everyone from reception is invited and will not be tiered.

I totally understand where you are coming from (except it's my side of the family that is so large). I finally had to just put a line down on who was on the list and who wasn't. And it sucks, but it was the only way to stay within budget.

I hear you @danielleesme , We don't want to single people out, or offend them. We have some time, so we will keep shopping around for venues and try to find one that is affordable that allows us to invite more guests.

I also understand as I have a big family. I was able to work with my parents to get it down to around 50. We drew the line at parents, my grandmother, brother's family, parent's siblings, my first cousins and their families, my parents first cousins (just the adults). I think you just have to draw a line as daniellesme said.

As far as an after party, I agree with everyone else as far as not tiering the guests. Like Hanna, we are having an after party, since a majority of our guests are from OOT, but everyone from the reception is invited. We are having a 12:30 ceremony, so it will be the night of the wedding.

No way. If you can afford this second reception, why not just put the money toward your REAL reception and invite everyone you want?