Advice: Transgender Groomswoman Attire

Does she want to wear a dress? Women wear suits all the time.


The bride and groom dictates the attire of the attendants, as long as it is gender appropriate for the attendant's gender identity.
Since the groomswoman is standing with the grooms, it's not a stretch to have her dressed in the female version of what the men are wearing. If you had a bridesman, you'd have him match the bridesmaids, not the groomsmen.
I suspect you are getting pushback because she correctly suspects you don't want her to draw negative attention. I presume she's trying to be as out as possible and sees this as you trying to hide who she is.
I'd start by showing her some actual suirs and seeing if she'd be comfortable in them.
I haven't shopped there in a while, but Express, Macys, and Nordstrom, have nice women's suits that are meant to fit women's bodies.

View Quoted Comment

Thank you so much for the store suggestions. We are trying to find places that sell nice female suits so she can match the groomsmen but still be wearing female clothing. It has been a struggle trying to find a balance because we want her to still somewhat match the groomsmen while also letting her be feminine. I will send those stores along as suggestions, thanks again

What about a pink ladies suit, that will tone in with their shirts, but isn't the exact same as theirs?

What about a jumpsuit? or top/pants separates? Like:

I was the “best woman” at a friends wedding and I wore a black bridesmaids dress so I would match the grooms men’s tuxes.

My FH has 2 groomswomen and they are wearing women’s suits from thesuitshop.com

She could wear a dress in the same color as the groomsmen's suits!

Can she not wear a dress? Anytime I’ve seen a wedding that had groomswomen, they’ve been in dresses that match the color scheme of the groomsmen.

Would she be comfortable wearing a dress? I'd consider a grey dress to match the groomsmen's suits. Otherwise, I love the jumpsuit and separates photos that Jasmine shared!

If you had a man standing with your bridesmaids would you insist he wear a dress? Probably not. I think she should wear a dress that matches the color scheme, like your bridesmaids. I'm having a woman stand with the groomsmen and she's wearing a dress that matches the groomsmen colors.

I'd say have her in a dress or grey dress pants with a pink blouse!

A dress that's the same color as the groomsmen's suits would work.

View Quoted Comment I think the difference is that men typically don’t wear dresses and women do typically wear suits and pants.

View Quoted Comment

That is true, but suits are still normally connected with male attire. If she recently came out she may not feel completely comfortable wearing clothes that remind her of masculinity and may prefer something more feminine such as a dress, jumpsuit, or nice pants with a blouse.

For OP, I would definitely talk to her and find out what she is comfortable wearing. She doesn't have to wear a suit to match the groomsmen. Plus, no matter what she is wearing, she will be standing on that side anyway so everyone will know she is someone who is supporting the groom.

You could always just have her be herself. There are plenty of men who have women as part of their "grooms-party". She could be best-woman or she could be just a groomswoman wearing a nice gown or pretty pantsuit. I personally don't see anything wrong with this. She could wear something similar to what your bridesmaids are wearing (not exactly, but similar) or she could choose a dress the same color as the tux the other groomsmen are wearing. There are

P L E N T Y of ways to play this.

You could go with her to David's Bridal and take a look at all the separates they have. I just did a quick search (wish I could paste some of the pics, the outfits were pretty) and they have GORGEOUS pink and grey separates (and dresses)! Have fun shopping!!

View Quoted Comment Thisssss. If she's already expressed to you that she doesn't want to wear a suit, don't press it. Find out what she's comfortable wearing and work with it. This isn't about her being difficult, it's about her feeling comfortable and accepted in her new identity. I agree with PP who suggested getting something in the same color as the mens suits.

View Quoted Comment

Ooooh these are amazing! I hadn't even considered jumpsuits. I think these might be something she would like because they are definitely feminine, which is one of the main things she wants!

The jumpsuits are lovely, did you ask what's her preferred dress?

Is there a reason she can't wear a dress or more feminine attire if she likes?

A gray or pink dress or jumpsuit would go well but be less of a menswear inspired look.

If pink is a dominant wedding color for you, I'm going to assume the bridesmaids will be in pink and you want the groomswoman to look distinct from them. I say find a gray dress or jumpsuit she likes and you are good to go! The color will go with what the groomsmen are wearing and make the entire wedding party look cohesive.

View Quoted Comment

Those jumpsuits are gorgeous!!