Rachel
Just Said Yes October 2021

Advice: Transgender Groomswoman Attire

Rachel, on August 10, 2021 at 10:20 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 22
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One of my FH's (former) groomsmen (now groomswoman), came out as a transgender woman a few months ago. We are both very accepting and super excited that she still wants to be in the wedding party (there are a few guests that might make things awkward). Prior to this, we had decided that the groomsmen would all wear pink dress shirts and gray suits to match with the overall theme. That is now where our issue is. The groomswoman has expressed discomfort at the idea of wearing a men's suit since she no longer identifies that way, which is completely understandable. We are trying to now find something that she can wear that will allow her to feel comfortable as well as be something we would both be okay with. I want to make sure she is able to still appear as feminine as she is comfortable with while also still matching the groomsman. This leaves the main choice being a woman's suit, whether pant or skirt, to choose from. When mentioned, there seemed to be some minor pushback from her on wanting to wear a female version of a suit, partially because the few she found quickly looking were too bulky in her mind.

I guess I am looking for some advice on how to handle this situation. Has anyone dealt with this before? What compromise did you come to to keep everyone happy and comfortable? Does anyone have any good recommendations on places that sell nice looking women's suits/ formal attire that we could send her way?

Any help would be greatly appreciated Smiley smile

22 Comments

Latest activity by Betty, on August 16, 2021 at 5:15 PM
  • W
    Super September 2020
    Willow ·
    • Flag
    Does she want to wear a dress? Women wear suits all the time.


    The bride and groom dictates the attire of the attendants, as long as it is gender appropriate for the attendant's gender identity.
    Since the groomswoman is standing with the grooms, it's not a stretch to have her dressed in the female version of what the men are wearing. If you had a bridesman, you'd have him match the bridesmaids, not the groomsmen.
    I suspect you are getting pushback because she correctly suspects you don't want her to draw negative attention. I presume she's trying to be as out as possible and sees this as you trying to hide who she is.
    I'd start by showing her some actual suirs and seeing if she'd be comfortable in them.
    I haven't shopped there in a while, but Express, Macys, and Nordstrom, have nice women's suits that are meant to fit women's bodies.
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  • Rachel
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Rachel ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you so much for the store suggestions. We are trying to find places that sell nice female suits so she can match the groomsmen but still be wearing female clothing. It has been a struggle trying to find a balance because we want her to still somewhat match the groomsmen while also letting her be feminine. I will send those stores along as suggestions, thanks again Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Rosie
    Rockstar February 2022
    Rosie ·
    • Flag

    What about a pink ladies suit, that will tone in with their shirts, but isn't the exact same as theirs?

    • Reply
  • Jasmine E.
    Rockstar May 2022
    Jasmine E. ·
    • Flag
    What about a jumpsuit? or top/pants separates? Like:
    Advice: Transgender Groomswoman Attire 1
    Advice: Transgender Groomswoman Attire 2


    • Reply
  • Tina
    Dedicated May 2022
    Tina ·
    • Flag
    I was the “best woman” at a friends wedding and I wore a black bridesmaids dress so I would match the grooms men’s tuxes.
    • Reply
  • K
    Dedicated October 2021
    Kayla ·
    • Flag
    My FH has 2 groomswomen and they are wearing women’s suits from thesuitshop.com
    • Reply
  • S
    Expert September 2022
    Sarah ·
    • Flag

    She could wear a dress in the same color as the groomsmen's suits!

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    Can she not wear a dress? Anytime I’ve seen a wedding that had groomswomen, they’ve been in dresses that match the color scheme of the groomsmen.
    • Reply
  • M
    Devoted September 2021
    Marianne ·
    • Flag

    Would she be comfortable wearing a dress? I'd consider a grey dress to match the groomsmen's suits. Otherwise, I love the jumpsuit and separates photos that Jasmine shared!

    • Reply
  • Candace
    Devoted March 2022
    Candace ·
    • Flag
    If you had a man standing with your bridesmaids would you insist he wear a dress? Probably not. I think she should wear a dress that matches the color scheme, like your bridesmaids. I'm having a woman stand with the groomsmen and she's wearing a dress that matches the groomsmen colors.
    • Reply
  • Kris
    Expert July 2021
    Kris Online ·
    • Flag

    I'd say have her in a dress or grey dress pants with a pink blouse!

    • Reply
  • M
    Beginner August 2021
    Marisa ·
    • Flag

    A dress that's the same color as the groomsmen's suits would work.

    • Reply
  • K
    Dedicated September 2021
    K ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I think the difference is that men typically don’t wear dresses and women do typically wear suits and pants.
    • Reply
  • Jessi
    Expert October 2022
    Jessi Online ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    That is true, but suits are still normally connected with male attire. If she recently came out she may not feel completely comfortable wearing clothes that remind her of masculinity and may prefer something more feminine such as a dress, jumpsuit, or nice pants with a blouse.

    For OP, I would definitely talk to her and find out what she is comfortable wearing. She doesn't have to wear a suit to match the groomsmen. Plus, no matter what she is wearing, she will be standing on that side anyway so everyone will know she is someone who is supporting the groom.

    • Reply
  • Janna
    Savvy July 2022
    Janna ·
    • Flag

    You could always just have her be herself. There are plenty of men who have women as part of their "grooms-party". She could be best-woman or she could be just a groomswoman wearing a nice gown or pretty pantsuit. I personally don't see anything wrong with this. She could wear something similar to what your bridesmaids are wearing (not exactly, but similar) or she could choose a dress the same color as the tux the other groomsmen are wearing. There are

    P L E N T Y of ways to play this.

    You could go with her to David's Bridal and take a look at all the separates they have. I just did a quick search (wish I could paste some of the pics, the outfits were pretty) and they have GORGEOUS pink and grey separates (and dresses)! Have fun shopping!!

    • Reply
  • Kk
    Devoted October 2021
    Kk ·
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    Thisssss. If she's already expressed to you that she doesn't want to wear a suit, don't press it. Find out what she's comfortable wearing and work with it. This isn't about her being difficult, it's about her feeling comfortable and accepted in her new identity. I agree with PP who suggested getting something in the same color as the mens suits.
    • Reply
  • Rachel
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Rachel ·
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    Ooooh these are amazing! I hadn't even considered jumpsuits. I think these might be something she would like because they are definitely feminine, which is one of the main things she wants!

    • Reply
  • M
    February 2021
    Marie ·
    • Flag

    The jumpsuits are lovely, did you ask what's her preferred dress?

    • Reply
  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
    • Flag

    Is there a reason she can't wear a dress or more feminine attire if she likes?

    A gray or pink dress or jumpsuit would go well but be less of a menswear inspired look.

    If pink is a dominant wedding color for you, I'm going to assume the bridesmaids will be in pink and you want the groomswoman to look distinct from them. I say find a gray dress or jumpsuit she likes and you are good to go! The color will go with what the groomsmen are wearing and make the entire wedding party look cohesive.

    • Reply
  • Josie
    Dedicated October 2022
    Josie ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Those jumpsuits are gorgeous!!

    • Reply

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