Advice - reconciling different wedding styles/ideas

What about doing a s'mores bar?

Hot chocolate//coffee bar?

I'm team s'mores bar!!! That's an excellent idea!!

We're thinking of either doing a hot chocolate bar or an ice cream bar. We'd love to do an ice cream bar, as there's one parlor in particular that we're regulars at and have been for 3 yrs (the owner has basically watched us grow lol), but since the wedding is in December, hot chocolate bar might win.

My FH was like this in the beginning too. and we are having a country club wedding now instead of my dreamy ethereal woodland wedding.

Ive made my centerpieces reflect a very twinkly effect with branches and lots of candles. I know this sounds cliche but look on pinterest. Literally I typed in "romantic ethereal wedding in country club" and that helped get the creative juices really flowing.

S'more favors? I considered doing them! But the s'mores bar sounds awesome as well!

Have you tried making a mock up of the escort cards to show him? Maybe if he sees it and holds it that would help him? Of course, that's only if they were something you were planning to craft. Not order. I did a mock up of ours when I found the idea and love them!!

At the end of the day the wedding is for both of you. Clearly you do not agree, because from barn to country club is a big difference. No idea why you thought it would be cheaper, anything popular gets expensive really quick (that's for everything wedding related). My FH & I at the beginning of wedding planning went through one of those online list of things you have to do during wedding planning. We each picked what was most important to us, and that's what each of us is over. You have to realize some parts effect the entire day like the venue (for example a barn), so that's not what I mean by one of us picked. I mean like to him a certain DJ was important so he picked the DJ. Alcohol was important so he is stocking the bar by buying liquor at the base every month with a GM in the military. You should try that.

I like the idea of a s'mores bar. So sorry FH is being hard headed.

Oh man! That stinks! Tell FH that weddings don't have to be 100% serious! Your guest would probably enjoy being able to relax a little bit!

YES to the s'mores bar!!

Let him know that you'd like the wedding to be a reflection of the two of you. Then you can begin to compromise on what's important to each of you and bring the themes together in a way that will be unique and beautiful.

Sorry, that's rough.

I think you're definitely on the right path trying to figure out ways to let your personality shine in the "smaller" details like the cake topper and escort cards. Maybe some kind of fun favors? I went to one wedding where the couple gave peg games as favors. Not saying to do that specifically, but it was one small element that reflected some of their quirkiness.

Can you show your fiance some BAMs or wedding blogs so he can see that these very often ARE the areas where couples stray away from what he might consider is traditional? Not sure if either of these are your style, but I've seen some fun ideas in offbeatbrides and whengeekswed.

Also, I google stalked your venue a bit and I feel like it would look so pretty with those twinkly lights you had in mind and a ton of candles. I think you can still get some of that soft, romantic lighting that you see in so many barn weddings.

One last thought--I think the most memorable wedding I've ever been to was at a banquet hall. I don't think there was really anything unique about it, but the couple was just so damn happy that it was impossible not to have an amazing time. The wedding will be "you" even if it feels cookie cutter to you.

Thanks, MrsToBe, Kimberley and Courtney!

@puppybagel, you totally hit the nail on the head - it's not the toasted marshmallows I care about (sorry, s'mores bar fans), it's the feel of the event and how much it's crept away from what I initially wanted. In my worst moments I feel like we've ended up with exactly the wedding I DIDN'T want: formal, buttoned-down and full of WIC trimmings I don't care about at all. Funny how the indie bride sites can feel just as stress-inducing as Pinterest sometimes.

Thanks for the comment on venue lighting! We're meeting with the venue planner tomorrow and I'm hoping she can show us some good lighting options that won't break the bank. And he'll just have to live with the Lord of the Rings ring box, dammit. And the Princess Bride cake topper. I might get our officiant to start with "Mawwiage....."