Advice on how to handle guests no card/no gift?

Most people at our wedding did not give cards or bring gifts. We also had a guest book attendant so we know nothing was stolen - just not something people did. I usually will only bring a card, but no gift - most were delivered to our house so most didn't bother bringing a card.

You don't ask. You only sent TY's to those who gave you gifts/money at the wedding.

Uh oh now I am confused lol. 2d Bride brings up a very good point about Miss Manners. Snark makes a good point. Yes we fed them a 4 course meal and free alcohol. Choices of entrees. Zoe, I would totally agree with you except my maid of honor should actually should be apologizing to me for all the heartbreak she caused, but that is old news, and a backstory that I need to get over. Let's just say she wasn't there for me mentally throughout the entire process and leave it at that. I guess I will assume these people didn't give a card, that they weren't misplaced or stolen. I am happy they attended and celebrated with us. I'm just worried about the what if they did give a card and it went misplaced or clipped out of the box. There were some people who brought guests I didn't know. I will never know, and I certainly cannot ask. So the middle ground is to write a generic thank you note for celebrating with us, is the best way I know how to handle it.

Rhonda- that is a good course of action. Thank you notes are always nice to get and they don't take a lot of effort or money to write.

Kaegirl- Why do you usually not give a gift at weddings?

I'm writing a thank you to all guests who attended. To those who didn't give us anything (like several young adult cousins who live on their own but apparently still think their parents cover them) I will thank them for sharing in our day.

After my wedding I noticed that some people we expected to get a card from (if nothing else) gave us nothing but I did think it was possible that some cards could have been stolen (the people in the ballroom next door stole Sharpies from the table we had outside the ceremony room so I believe it is entirely possible they took some cards). I sent cards to all our guests. Those who gave no gift or card I wrote "Joy shared is a joy doubled, thank you for celebrating with us" figuring if someone gave us a card and it wasn't mentioned they would reach out to us. Plus I felt like a lot of people came a long way getting to my wedding and their presence should be acknowledged. I realize that the reception is intended to be the thank you but I wouldn't drive over an hour to attend a party unless the person meant something to me so I wanted to ensure that I acknowledged the fact that some people drove over an hour for essentially a meal and some music, it seems like a thank you card was the least I could do.

Another thought, if you don't send a thank you card and a card was misplaced that guest may just assume you got it and didn't bother sending thank you cards While it is "proper" to send cards not everyone does it. In the past 3 years I have attended 4 weddings, gave gifts at all 4 and only received thank you cards from 2 of the couples. One of the brides that didn't send a thank you note actually talked to me about her step mother commenting to her that you should send a note but she (the bride) just hasn't gotten around to it and would get to it "If I get a chance". Mind you she is a stay at home mother whose children are 16 and 10 and I can tell you without a doubt that she isn't spending her time cleaning her house. There is no reason she could write out the 50 thank you cards required within the past 18 months except poor manners.

I wrote thank you cards to whoever gave us a card or gift. We thanked everyone for coming at our wedding so we didn't see a point in sending a card to thank them again. There were only 4 people who didn't give us a card and those 4 people had their transportation and hotel paid for by us. I was a little annoyed that we did so much for them and didn't even get at least a card but it is what it is and it's not worth stressing over.

While we we surprised to have not received any well wishes cards from some of DH's family including his father we still sent a thank you card to everyone that attended. If they gave a gift we mentioned it and thanked them for it. If not we just thanked them for celebrating with us and joking is for our special day. I don't see any reason to question any of them about it or say something to anyone.

I thanked every person for attending, gift, card or not. They took the time to celebrate our wedding with us and they deserve a thank you.