Advice on how to handle guests no card/no gift?

You don't. Nor do you question anyone about stolen cards. ETA: Acknowledge the gifts you received and move on.

Would mention it to us throughout the night like the other couple did. One of the missing cards was from this brother who we entrusted the locked card box to. So, husband just called him and asked him "did you give us a card" - "we are going down our list to send thank you's and noticed we didn't see one from you" ... he honestly told us, no, he didn't give us a card. The other missing cards were from his other brother and sister-in-law who are dirt poor with 4 kids in a tiny apartment. Again, we don't expect anything, but a card with well wishes would have been nice. Some memorabilia or keepsake of well wishes from a brother would have been nice. Same with my maid of honor and her boyfriend ... no card. Nothing. Soooooo, how would you handle the thank you notes when you know these people attended by remembering seeing them during the night, but no card. If we didn't get a card, do they deserve a card back thanking them? The other 2 were from an old friend of my husband, and 1 other couple. No card. I have researched what etiquette says about thank you notes for just a card, but I'm stumped on how to handle remember seeing these people (or some of them!) at our wedding, yet, no card. What is WW's take on this matter? I'm thinking they receive no thank you card.

Just write a note saying thank you for celebrating our day with us. If the person receiving the thank you note DID in fact give you a card that somehow got misplaced they'll notice you didn't mention the card and ask you about it. Or, they won't, and you don't need to worry about it further. A card/gift isn't required, so at the end of the day it really doesn't matter.

I suppose our 1st concern was that these people gave a card and they were stolen. Because there were a few cards sticking out of the box. Such a crappy situation to be in. Its a delicate situation.

I have seen posts regarding this topic. Personally, we are sending TY cards to all guests. For those that give a gift, we will mention the gift in the card. If they did not, we will thank them for attending.

We had guests at our wedding that didn't give us a card or gift. There were a few that just gave cards. I did thank you notes for everyone that gave us a gift. We were honestly a little shocked I guess, that there were not cards from a few people. I know that times can be hard and I didn't expect a gift from everyone but it was a little strange to not get a card (people we know have good jobs etc). I hadn't thought about whether they were lost though, our box was not full or anything. Oh well, move on. We had an awesome wedding and we were so happy that people came to be there with us.

We had this same issue. I too wondered if some got misplaced but there is no way to ask that question. So I plan to send a thank you card to whomever attended. Bc on the off hand chance that they gave a card and it got lost or stolen, then we look like we are rude by not sending anything. Also, I just kind of disagree with the etiquette that says no card/gift = no thank you card.

Are we not still happy they came? Isn't that something to thank them for? Yes, as the couple they got to attend a big party on our dime. However, most people also have to put some amount of time, energy and money into attending a wedding (travel, accommodations, attire, babysitting, parking and so on). I see weddings as a give and take for both the couple and guests.

SO the short of it is, send the thank you card unless you feel it would be viewed as "gift grabby" as some etiquette guidelines suggest.

We had this same issue. I too wondered if some got misplaced but there is no way to ask that question. So I plan to send a thank you card to whomever attended. Bc on the off hand chance that they gave a card and it got lost or stolen, then we look like we are rude by not sending anything. Also, I just kind of disagree with the etiquette that says no card/gift = no thank you card.

Are we not still happy they came? Isn't that something to thank them for? Yes, as the couple they got to attend a big party on our dime. However, most people also have to put some amount of time, energy and money into attending a wedding (travel, accommodations, attire, babysitting, parking and so on). I see weddings as a give and take for both the couple and guests.

SO the short of it is, send the thank you card unless you feel it would be viewed as "gift grabby" as some etiquette guidelines suggest.

Yup, no thank you for no gift. It seems snarky, even if you don't mean it to be.

We have a few of these. As much as I personally don't agree with showing up to a wedding without at least a card, we're letting it go. It's not the end of the world. As far as thank you notes, we still plan on sending them to people who did not bring a card or gift to thank them for helping us celebrate.

Whew all good advice! I'm not upset by it, it isn't something I needed to let go ... we were just genuinely stumped ... as mentioned, I didn't even see one of the guests that didn't give a card the whole night even wondering if they came, but my husband said he saw him and talked to him at one point. I didn't want to send thank yous to people who might not have even been there. Then, the concern over ettiquette say g you are supposed to mention or acknowledge the gift part ... and the what if they did and it was misplaced or taken. Yikes. I'm glad it was only a handful of people I have to tread delicately with on the thank you notes.

Here's what we did, if this helps at all:

Card only: Thank you for the wonderful card wishing us well, and for joining us in celebrating our special day! We really appreciate having you there with us. God bless! Love, "bride and groom"(sign your names...lol)

Showed up, but no card or gift: thank you, so much, for joining us in celebrating our special day! We really loved having you there! God bless! Love, "bride and groom"

Then for cards with money or card and a gift, you'd obviously write whatever you're thankful for in each card! =)

I had a few guests that did not give us a gift or card......including my inlaws! We even opened up our gifts and cards at their house the next day. I sent thank you notes to all I had cards for. Even got a mystery gift with no card. I have still not figured out where it came from.

If they didn't give a gift or a card, you don't need to write thank-you notes. The reception is a thank-you to your guests, so thanking them for attending a reception thanking them would be overkill. (In fact, Miss Manners at one point said that you should not write a thank-you note, as it might be seen as fishing for gifts.)

You shouldn't follow up to ask about cards or gifts, but you also don't need to write thank-you notes.

I was MOH for my very good friend a long time ago and with all the wedding preparations (it was a very dramatic, hands-on wedding planning nightmare), I completely forgot to get them a card. I didn't even think about it until months later. Things happen, some people are really bad about cards (most weddings I forget until the last minute, I even forgot one for my best friend's baby shower the other day even though I spent days painting a present for her baby). They came to celebrate your day, I wouldn't dwell on it.

You don't have to thank people for attending-- you're the hosts-- the social debt is theirs. But I'm with others-- ignore those who brought no card/gift. There's really no polite way to inquire.

Your MOH did enough! She doesn't additionally owe you a gift, and she should absolutely receive a Thank You card for all her time and efforts.

No, you don't have to send your guests a thank you note for attending your wedding. I'm assuming you fed them a meal at your reception, which was your way of thanking them. Its cruddy that some adults don't know to at least give a card but that's how it is... Most of my husbands friends and younger family members didn't give a card. Some people just don't know better. Move on.

You should send TY cards to everyone regardless of a gift and or card was given. That would clear everything up. They did take an evening and or afternoon out of their schedule to be with you on your day. In this day and age that is something!

^Disagree. You fed them and provided beverages and probably music and dancing. That's how you thank your guests. Writing a thank you note if you didn't receive a card and/or gift is overkill. Nice, but overkill.