Advice? Not enjoying wedding planning. :(

I didn't want to send response cards because I think they are a waste of money. My opinion and my wedding but people have other opinions of course. I don't want to turn into a big grump but I don't know how to enjoy all this when I'm so worried about what other people are thinking/wanting. I even felt stressed over picking the cake topper and colors due to stressing people wouldn't like them.

When someone gives you unwanted opinions, just look at them and say, "thanks, ill take that into consideration" and change the subject.

The only thing I can think to tell you is to stop worrying about what other people think or want. Their opinions are just that - OPINIONS. If they aren't helping pay, they don't get a say.

Don't share your ideas if you don't want opinions. Just do what feels right for you, and who cares if other people think that's what should happen? Easier said than done I know, but sometimes it's what ya gotta do!

I guess I'm also worried about hearing negative comments the night of the wedding ( ie, people don't like the food, etc). I normally can brush things off from people I don't know very well but friends and family sometimes get to me more.

Your wedding is what you and the groom want. Stop letting people's opinions get to you. I've heard all kinds of things but I'm going with what I want and what my budget can afford. I don't care about how it should be when I'm the one paying for it!!! That's just my opinion to stick with what YOU and FH want.

What if they ARE helping pay? I mean, we are paying for some of it but others are contributing too.

No one is going to say something negative to the bride on her wedding day. And if they do, I recommend walking away and then limiting your contact with that person afterward.

If YOU and FH are happy with the plans, that is all that matters.

ETA: if they ARE helping pay, they can give an opinion on whatever their $ is going toward (ie, paying for rehearsal dinner = opinion on rehearsal dinner). Again though, opinions are just opinions. It's still YOUR wedding.

The thing is- IT IS YOUR WEDDING & YOUR CHOICES. Tell people to hush! I didn't send response cards - tell them instead you're being "eco-friendly". They can't really argue with that! Take the opinions, & say "oh thanks but we've already made decisions on that." People love to put in their opinion about weddings (not entirely sure why), but it really is your wedding, & you really do hold the power. If it wasn't you making the decisions would someone else plan your whole wedding start to finish? (Doubt it!)

So take a deep breath & remember that it's supposed to be fun! If people are stressing you out, tell them. Tell them they are making the process not as fun... if they're good people - they'll back off & give you room to do your thing. Take it from someone whose wedding is 5 days away - once I told everyone that me & my FH would be making all the decisions, & that all we needed was support, it made everything so much better!

Of course each situation is different, but hope this helps!

What help me is make a list of everything that need to be done, and just go down the list. Something you just have to pull the trigger on and move on to the next task at hand. Sounds easier said that done, believe me I still can't make a decision with the centerpieces. Don't second guess your decision.

I recently just got more excited after I found my wedding dress. Which off tasks between things you really like to do & things you do.

People will always have opinions about everything, you just have to ignore it and realize this is your wedding not theirs. If they care so much about response cards or a wedding cake topper they need to have their own wedding.

I agree but it is easier said than done. Especially when other people are helping pay. I just needed to vent I guess. Thank you all for the quick responses.

People are going to say what they want regardless! I have two friends who just recently got married and I don't plan to do things like they did. I am not very flashy or traditional and so my wedding will show it. I was a little bummed before we put down the deposit and now that we did I am excited again. I think as FBs we go through the fazes. We are so ready and anxious for the day but then again as adults we freak out by the money! It's all a crazy roller coaster but you will get through it. And trust me, don't let anyone's opinion get you upset...unless they are paying..they have no say so.

That's the thing though ... some people are helping pay, even though we are paying for a lot of it too. What do you do with the opinions of those people?

I know what you mean. I think that the proliferation of wedding shows, Pintrest, etc., has made people feel like we need to have these "perfect down to the last detail" weddings. But truthfully, most people aren't going to your wedding looking for something to criticize (or they shouldn't be, because screw them if they are). They just want to celebrate with you and your FH.

Yes, people will always have opinions and they often differ with yours. But ultimately, if you and your husband are happy, then that's all that matters and that's what people will remember.

You're coming down the home stretch now! I agree with the other ladies who have said to keep details to yourself and let comments roll off your back. At the end of the day, when you're marrying the one you love, it won't matter.

Omg! I'm in the same boat...I don't wanna say I hate planning this wedding but its pretty close. Me and my fiancé wanted to have either a small destination wedding or a small backyard wedding nothing big at all!...but my FMIL started crying when we bought our idea up so of course we felt bad and decided to proceed with having a little bigger wedding than we wanted...well that turned into an actual big wedding and I lost all control of my own wedding. I am not a planner which is one of the reasons I didn't want a wedding and the fact that my step dad decided it was a great idea to divorce my mom. Me and my fiancé say literally everyday how we can't wait for this wedding to pass. Ugh I feel your pain!

Welcome to my world.

((Hugs))

So sorry that this experience isn't a happy one for you. It would be easy to say "forget what ppl think" but I have a feeling that you are the worrying type. My only suggestion is to get yourself a wedding planner to handle EVERYTHING. Take the load off your shoulders. I've also found that ppl are less likely to express opinions when going up against a professional who does this for a living.

I wish I could express how much I feel your pain! I wanted a 50-60 person wedding on the beach. It's turned into a 150+ person wedding downtown. It's A LOT, A LOT easier said than done to brush off comments and to say no to certain people. Yes, it's YOUR wedding, but not everyone see's it that way--especially when they are helping with it financially. Good luck dear...you are almost there.

If someone was financing my reception and they wanted an open bar (and I didn't), I'd give in on that one. If someone was financing the reception because they found an amazing venue that gave them a nice discount (like a country club/yacht club they belonged to), I'd be willing to seriously consider it. Beyond that, helping to finance a wedding isn't a quid pro quo situation. They don't get to pick out the cake topper, the flowers, the color scheme, the gown, the champagne flutes, the cake, etc. Those are all reflections of the couple (usually the bride), and this is her one opportunity to chose exactly what she wants.

Yes them to death if that's easier than arguing, then do what you want when you're shopping without them or online.

Okay then well that changes some things. Once someone is helping fun the event then there is a lot you must settle for (that may not be the right wording) but for instance, if they want ____ kind of flowers but you didn't well maybe let those be incorporated you know. This is a happy time so please try not to let it frustrate you. I think you are holding on to the fact that you didn't want the wedding but hey it's happening now so get glad!

I'm sorry, that's a bummer I'm feeling about the same, I just wanted to elope and got roped into a wedding.

Just stand your ground and grow some bridal balls. Everyone has their opinion, but that's just their opinion. But I agree with you, my parents are paying for most, so I've had to compromise. I would say pick your battles. Let them have a say on the least important areas, but fight for the things that you really care about.

3 out of 4 of us grandchildren got married within 6 months of each other. I'm the last getting married in two months, so I get tons of opinions from everyone that just got married. I just say, "I loved your wedding, but I have a different vision for mine."

But only you can control your happiness. Let go of the old ideas and try to embrace what it has become and make the best of it!