Advice- Nephew at wedding.

IMO if he's your only nephew (and you don't have any nieces or kids of your own) then you could make the exception. He's your nephew so people would understand that. If you have kids other nieces and nephews then it would have to be all nieces and nephews or none.

A three year old (in my limited experience) would just as well be playing at home with a sitter anyway. Is it that your in laws don't want to leave him with a sitter?

Search the forums for "childfree" -- there is a lot of discussion on how to deal, because this is a hot topic!

We're not allowing any children that aren't in the wedding party. I'm with you. For guests.... It's all or nothing. People might get upset when they see him there, but they just had to spend money on a babysitter when they were under the impression it's an adults only event.

A lot of couples with no kid weddings make an exception for the kids in the immediate family.

I also agree that 3 is young. My daughter and her cousin were almost 3 at my bil's wedding and the other cousin almost 2 and it was a very long night/day for them and they were cranky and irritable.

It's your prerogative, but I don't think it's true that it's all or nothing. There's often an exception for close family members.

We're not having any kids but our very own that's in the wedding. They won't be staying for the full reception so we can truly enjoy ourselves & our guests

I think that a 3 year old at a wedding is silly in general most of the time.

why do people want him there so badly to the point of actually crying? I find this a bit extreme.

though I can't really see a 3 year old being able to really enjoy a wedding or even being content throughout one, I do have a suggestion if not allowing him to attend doesn't work out.

if some family is that set on having him there to the point where you can't see them letting it go, how about giving him a role in the wedding? kids that are in the wedding usually get a free pass for a no kids wedding.

as for how how to make sure he's content during the wedding and reception, that one I'm not sure about. but I wouldn't just let him come as a guest when you're not letting anyone else.

I'm sorry your relatives are being so difficult. why they can't accept that you are choosing no kids I don't know, but I also know how difficult families can be on these things-

good luck!

Very often, a couple will allow nieces and nephews, but not invite other children. I think you should just let him come-- he will have tons of family to take care of him and he doesn't need other kids to play with. Maybe be nice and get him some bubbles and a coloring book.

We are only having our own children and FH's nieces and nephews at our wedding. Other than that, it's no kids. I think you should consider extending the invitation to your nephew if you feel that this is something that will cause tension in the family. This is not something I would pick a battle over, personally.

I don't think you're being unreasonable but since there are tears, I think you should find some options and present them. Maybe offer to hire a babysitter if it's in your budget or work something out. My nephew was 1 1/2 and didn't come to my wedding (my sister left him with a friend for a few hours).

No, kids are not all or nothing. It is perfectly normal and reasonable to allow a nephew and no other children - he's part of the immediate family. Guests understand that. I understand no kid weddings, but find it weird and overly restrictive to exclude nieces and nephews. I'm surprised your FH is on board with that.

Thanks all! I appreciate it!