Adults Only Wedding - HELP Before Save the Dates.

We are doing an adult only wedding. Frankly, i really don't care if they are upset they can't bring them. (Let me elaborate: my niece is a whiney ass 3 year old brat. he has already pissed me off about family stuff and they live 8+ hours away) "NO" is a complete sentence. It is your guest list, you make it how you want it.

Some people will always criticize. Some will complain if you don't invite children, and some will be upset if it's not child free (because that's how they do it in their family/social circle).

Do what you feel is best. If people complain, you respond "I'm sorry you feel that way, but the decision is made."

Don't explain or give reasons. Some people will just go into problem solving mode :she can sit on my lap, she can share my meal, my child is perfectly behaved etc etc etc.

Some may get a lil disturbed but given that you have 8 months left if you let them know now it gives them ample time to find a sitter. Just let them know in plenty of time. If you are close enough to them (friend and family wise) telling them now shouldnt be a problem

Are you inviting the partners of your guests? That's cutting it awfully close. If it's a room capacity issue please remember to count in the vendors and servers, the band, DJ, and bartenders.

I know I had some mutterings behind my back. That I'd regret the decision, that oot guests should've been an exception, that my children are well behaved blah blah blah. We had a childfree wedding because we were paying and we wanted one! We had absolutely no regrets.

We're having an adult only wedding and I haven't heard anything about people being upset that they can't bring their children. If that's what you and your FH want then guests should be respectful of your wishes. If not, that's too bad. If they can't make it this leaves room for more people on your guest list.

Adult only weddings are great! Only worries people will have is having fun!

I had an adults only wedding and I think everyone enjoyed the night out kid free! I didn't do stds, but did text some with the date who had kids and said something like "I hope you and Suzie (wife) can make it!"

I'm having an adults only wedding. I offer no apologies for it. It's your event.

We are having an adults only wedding. No children, no babies, no exceptions and no apologies. Everyone has been understanding.

I was told by family friends they would rather come without their kids. I'm inviting immediate family kids and out if town guests kids. The parents of my flower girl and ring bearer offered to leave the other 3 at home and said they would understand. But I grew up watching them and I want them there. I invited a family I babysit for and their kids bc they are out of town (I'm there 2x a month) anf they asked if I knew of any sitters for the night. I'm finding most people want a kid free night.

Stick to your guns and don't give excuses. I generally am not a fan of children, in particular the 3 yr old son of FH's cousin. Plus, if children were invited to our wedding, that would increase our guest list by 20+ (mostly 2 to 6) which is a lot of children. That was not the type of wedding we wanted. So we planned an adults only affair from the beginning (except for my two nieces and one nephew who are in the wedding party). My FILs (especially my FMIL) were very unhappy with this decision, and thought it wasn't "fair" that the wedding party children were allowed to come to the wedding, but no other kids were allowed. Honestly, I never figured out why because we spoke with family and friends with children, and they were all good with it. Because I think it's rude to tell people you don't like members of their family (and this was before I learned from WW that "No" period is the best approach), when FILs asked why children were not invited, we used the excuse that the venue did not allow children and we had gotten special permission for the three wedding party members, which was kind of true. Our original contract stated something of the sort (though we ended up signing a different version, which just said children must be kept quiet and entertained with games etc). The venue is a private house right on the waterfront without any sort of barrier, so it's not really safe for small children. FMIL actually told FH that she was going to tell people not to bother coming because obviously we didn't want them there if we were not going to invite their children. FFIL told FH that he was going to call the venue and talk to the homeowner to see if she would allow additional children. FH shut that down quickly. But we have no idea if FMIL said anything to anyone. They had given us money for the wedding, which I would not have accepted if I had known strings were attached. We talked about giving the money back, but FH acknowledged that that would probably just make the situation worse. As it is, FMIL is still not speaking to me because she blames me for this decision and the "unfairness" of inviting my three family members who are kids. We had a great relationship before this happened. She is someone who holds grudges unfortunately. I think she should apologize, but I'm over it honestly. I don't want to start my marriage this way, but FH and I have not figured out a way to smooth it over yet. This is a woman who did not speak to her sibling for years because she felt slighted by something. I am sure I could have handled the situation better and probably not gotten so defensive and angry. Giving excuses prolonged the issue because FILs said, well what about this or this. Should have just said No. This is our guest list. Period.

I guess I'm more confused about why you booked a venue without having a complete guest list

We are also doing adults only wedding. And honestly I too don't care what people will say. We both don't like kids and we're having a small wedding and we have to limit our guest list. But honestly we just don't want kids there period. If people are mad at you for that then they shouldn't come to the wedding. Honestly weddings are not for kids anyway.

You have to do what is right and best for you your guests aren't paying for the wedding and reception

I think you need to sit down with both sets of parents and redo this guest list altogether. Paying for part of the wedding doesn't give them sudden free reign to put you over your venue capacity. They need to see the math. Now, 160 is a crap ton of people, I don't care who you are. I am positive you can make cuts, including kids, that will put you under your capacity. Remember to find out if your vendor staff count, as well.

I think it's worth it to say that you don't want to write "adults only" on the STDs or invitations. You just address them by name, and specify how many seats you have reserved under that invitation, on the RSVP card. If they write in kids, you can call and tell them your venue is at capacity, and you won't be able to accommodate additional head count. "We hope to see you there."

@Blair. We definitely booked our venue before knowing our complete guest list... not sure why that's confusing. Once we found the venue, we made our guest list accordingly.

I booked the venue with a general idea of knowing I didn't want to/ cannot accommodate any more than 160 people. Period. However, we were not expecting the future in laws to invite so many extra people.

Adults only here.

I know that most of my friends are happy to have an excuse for a night out without the kids. Can't please everybody. So do what you want. It's your wedding. If they don't like it then they can RSVP no

I've learned that so many people will have crap to say about your wedding. Cut the kids and don't look back.

I had ONE friend that was upset. Everyone else understood. I do not regret my adult only wedding. My SIL is bringing her 4 month old baby and I'm not fighting that baby. She's breastfeeding and so I feel like that's an ok exception.