Adult only wedding

We're doing an adult only wedding and only one couple had a problem with this. The guy kept trying to convince my fiance to let kids to the wedding but FH shut that down. We later heard from mutual friends that this person was bad mouthing the adults only at our wedding and the mutual friends also shut this person down. That's how we handled someone having a problem with this - staying consistent with our responses and not making exceptions. The minute FH said something along the lines of "It'll suck if you guys can't come but we'll understand" this friend magically found a babysitter. Like less than a minute after FH said that. Just be prepared if people decline the invitation or can't come. This was a non-negotiable for us and it's one of the few things I think we can be selfish about at our wedding.

We're also having an adult only wedding and so far all of the parents with young kids have been absolutely fine with it. My one aunt with two boys has already announced that her husband won't be coming because we didn't invite her children, but I'm not really all that concerned. Do what you want, it's your wedding.

We're having an adult only event as well. I don't want a bunch of kids running around my reception, that's our choice. I feel like guests have plenty of time to find a sitter for one evening.

If you're willing to compromise, you could do the "social circles" thing and only invite children in the wedding party. As long as it's clear that that's where you drew the line, other guests shouldn't be offended.

ETA: I mean children OF the wedding party. So your bridesmaids'/groomsmen's kids in addition to your flower girl and ring bearer, if you have them.

It's fine that you don't want children there. I just don't think you should say " enjoy a night out" wihout your kids. That sounds kinda harsh.

All you have to say is because of the venue, we have decided to do adult only affair.

I'm having an adult only too and I have a 7 yr old so I don't get offended when I can't take him places. Other parents get really upset. I think it's just the wording.

I think the trick to this is being consistent. As long as you don't make any exception than people should be fine. Also, remember to not directly put it on the invitations. Simply say how seats are reserved for the recipients and they should get the hint.

Thanks everyone! Appreciate the advice. My FH and I came to this decision about a month ago. We had already asked everyone to be apart of our wedding party last summer. In hindsight I wish we would have came to that decision (adult only wedding) earlier. We have not picked out bridesmaids dresses yet. I haven't even sent out our invites yet.

My family has been hosting adult weddings, for almost 50 years. I have a toddler and we've been invited to/attended 5 weddings, since she's been born. She hasn't been invited to/attended, a single one of them. I can't imagine attending a wedding and chasing around 2 year old, all night.

We invited 21 and up, which is the norm in my family/social circle. One couple boycotted, because they think their kids should be the center of everyone's universe. They also had a nanny, so there was no issue with childcare. We had a fabulous time without them.

If you have a junior bridesmaid/groomsman, flower girl, or ring bearer, he/she needs to be invited to the reception. Other than that, you're allowed to have an adult-only evening. That said, your whole "I want adults to have fun" is rude and will rub parents the wrong way, so I wouldn't phrase it like that. If bridal party or immediate family is traveling, I would also make an exception for their kids. Nothing wrong with making an exception or two based on circumstances. Also, nothing wrong with inviting kids in circles. For instance, you're allowed to invite your goddaughter without inviting your co-workers four kids you've never met.

I agree. My wording can be interpreted wrong. I won't be wording it that way anymore. The last thing I want to do is hurt people's feelings. We will not be having a flower girl or ring bearer either. And all our guests will be over 18 years of age. Our out of town guests (FH's uncles / aunts..some I've never even met) have children who are older.

We also had an adults only wedding but my MOH threw a fit, so we let her bring her 10 year old stepson. He was the only kid there.

We are doing an adult-only wedding except immediate family, because my sister's kids are in the wedding. It's your wedding. Don't let her pressure you into something you don't want.

We had an adult-only wedding. Actually, I've only been to maybe 1-2 weddings EVER that had children in attendance who weren't in the bridal party (and we go 2-4 weddings every YEAR). I think evening weddings are formal events that are appropriate for adults only, and especially not for young children. I'm sure your friend can find a sitter for her 2-year old... its not like she has a newborn baby/infant.

We are dealing with this as well. For us, our 8 year old twin boys and 9 year old daughter will be part of the ceremony but we are sending them home early with grandma. We decided to make it adult only as our venue is small, we will have about 100 guests, people will be drinking, and quite frankly we don't want to deal with anyone else's kids and don't want other guests annoyed by or uncomfortable with them. It's your day and your decision. Parents have plenty of time to secure a sitter for a wedding they have known about for months. Just remind them that it's ok to enjoy a night away from the kids. Luckily we haven't had any push back at all. I think it's all about sticking to your guns, this is your day!

Also I read somewhere to put the blame on the venue itself. Something like "per venue policies, no one under 18 or 21, please leave your little ones with a sitter" I thought it was kind of brilliant for those in a tight spot with explanations.

We're having an adult only wedding as well, two of my BM's are mothers of young children and when I told them my plan they were literally overjoyed LOL invitations go out next month with "Adult ceremony & reception" on the cards so I guess we'll see how it goes over, I feel like most people are understanding in regards to this.

We are having an adults only wedding. No children. No babies. No exceptions. Be fair and consistent across the board to all guests.

Just to piggyback off of this thread; where are you ladies stating it's adults only? On your website??? I just sent out invites and had 1 ask if it's 21 and up (which I thought was odd as I only reserved 2 seats and all of her kids are grown adults).

Juli, FH is not for a website so we're having a guest information card.

21 and up - the legal drinking age, in our state. Our save the dates (mailed 10 months before the wedding) were addressed to the adults who were invited. The invitation was also addressed to the adults who were invited. The wedding website was on both. The homepage/1st page of the website, that everyone saw when they input the address had a blurb "Our ceremony and celebration have been planned for guests 21 and over."

Our venue charged the full adult rate, for any guest 13 and up. There was no discount for 5 hours of open bar. If a child 12 and under wanted an adult entrée, instead of a discounted kids' meal = full adult rate.

Plus, our venue had the right to ask for a photo ID, of each guest, if we invited kids. That would have been a real pain. We had over 100 guests stay overnight at our venue - a hotel, with a reasonable room block rate. I doubt if any of the ladies who stayed there brought an ID down to the wedding, in their evening bag.