Adult only wedding?

You could specify that guests must be ages 13 and up

I agree with the previous person or could you make those two kids somehow a part of the wedding party? That way those be the only kids allowed to go. My best friend had an adult only wedding but her niece and their two children were the flower girls so those are the only kids there.

View Quoted Comment Is 13 a weird age to say though? I feel like there’s going to be hurt feelings that one aunts kids can go but the others cannot

View Quoted Comment I feel like there would be hurt feelings if one aunts kids were in it and the others weren’t which is why we decided not to have kids in the wedding. This is rough lol

View Quoted Comment No I totally get it. Honestly I think in that case you're better off just doing the full adult wedding. Honestly as a teenager I was never hurt if I was not invited to a wedding they don't really get it at that point. Plus if it's just them two with a bunch of other adults there honestly probably going to be bored. I remember my mom taking me to a wedding of one of her co-workers when I was probably 11 or 12 and you know there are other teenagers there I didn't know them sex with most of time by myself. If I read your original post you said that you know they would be okay to go but are you or your fiance dying to have them there? Would you two be okay if they were not there? Would they be hurt if they were not invited?

I had the same struggle. FH & I decided 13 & up unless they’re in wedding party (flower girl, ring bearer). Most were understanding.

I would just have a chat to the one who just had the baby and say you're allowing some kids and the wedding but you want it to be 'baby free'.

To be honest, I for one would be the first to hire a babysitter if I was invited out for a wedding!

View Quoted Comment I don’t think so-I wouldn’t think twice if someone designated 13+ for guests. However, if you think that will cause hurt feelings, you may want to consider just having no kids at all. As Kristen pointed out, kids that age typically aren’t clamoring to go to a wedding. And it actually may be rather boring for them being the only kids there.

I would say “Adults Only with the exception of family who are specifically invited”

You can invite whomever you want. When we had to cut our guest list we were only invited adults with the exception of my nephew. I talked with a few of my guests with children and they were completely understandable. Plus Parents want an excuse sometimes to have a date without kids. It’s a win-win lol

So the only under 21s invited to our wedding are my FH’s younger siblings. They are all middle school/high school aged.
As an elementary school librarian, I knew having little kids at the wedding would not be good for me. I’d be so caught up in worrying about the kids and keeping an eye on them that I wouldn’t actually be present in the moment and enjoy my wedding. I love kids, but I also know that not every parent pays enough attention to their kids to keep them safe.

You can’t cherry pick which kids can come and which can’t. It isn’t fair to the parents and will be more drama than it’s worth.

We have 1 child (10) coming and that's my FH's son. We also have his three (teen) nieces 14 and two 18 y/o. - But we consider them adults for the most part.

The way we did it was by the way we addressed the invitations:

We addressed the "family" invitation by Mr. & Mrs. John Smith and Family while the other invitations by Mr. & Mrs. John and Jane Smith . I think that sets the tone of the invitation knowing that it's adults.

View Quoted Comment Did you have people asking if their children were invited, was anyone mad the teens were there?

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Our wedding is in October but no one has added or asked others to attend.

I wouldn't consider the 17-year-old as a "kid" (and I'm sure he/she/they wouldn't want to be called one, lol), and since the sibling is 13, I would just invite them as a family unit. If anyone has the audacity to ask, you can say that it would've been rude to invite all but one person in a family.


If my wedding hadn't been postponed this year, we would've had a 16-year-old at our adults only wedding. She is the youngest cousin on his side, and all of the other cousins, including her sibling, were invited, so she's our only exception. Our engagement party was family friendly (youngest guest was 2), but no one expected their kids to be invited to the wedding.

I don’t think it’s weird, they’re not really “kids” at 13 & 17. I would just day it’s no children and not address that there will be two teenagers there.

I think it's fine to only invite the 13 and 17 year olds. At 13, you can stay home by yourself, at 9 you should not. So they're "adults" in the sense that no one has to watch them the whole time.

Since we are getting married at a winery they’re rules are no kids under 14. So we only invited “teens” that are immediate family & my niece & nephew in the wedding & they are leaving after dinner. Everyone has been pretty understanding about the no kids rule. I remember being drug to weddings as a kid and a teen & I was so bored.

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At the end of the day as long as you and your fiancé are happy that is all that matters. I have found there will always be people that are not happy with your decisions, but it is your wedding not their's. Try not to stress over it too much.

After reading most of the comments sounds like a lot suggest adult only. I would also say adult only. It would look bad if you allowed one cousins kids to attend, but not the other. We had a situation with my FH 2 newphs who are both under 8 y/o. We got bullied into inviting them by his parents and then his brother after both asked more than 3 times. With COVID the kids aren't coming and now neither is the FSIL (makes me happy). To not cause family issues I would just say adult only wedding. OR you can have kids at ceremony only, adult only reception or visa versa. The parents would have to arrange for childcare or be prepared for them to leave after ceremony if you say adult only reception.


Like other commenters said, kids don't really care one way or another to go to a wedding. It is about making the parents life easier by not having to find potential childcare.

Is there a way you can include them in the ceremony some how like maybe have them do a reading or something? Not sure if you're close enough with them for that but then you wouldn't really have to explain it. Not that you owe anyone an explanation anyways. Its your day! and like other people have said someone will always find a reason to be unhappy with a decision you've made so do what you guys want to do!