Addressing Save The Dates & Invites: Unmarried Couples

We have a TON of friends in this situation, probably more like this than actually married. We addressed our invites "John Smith & Jane Adams" for this scenario. We didn't want to just invite a blank "guest".

Address it to both by name! “Guest” implies they can bring anyone which, at least for me, I wouldn’t want them bringing someone else instead if their SO couldnt make it (which they can do if you just say guest). Plus it’s more polite to address someone by name

I think addressing them both by name, if you know it, is the best. I also think it might be proper etiquette, but I'm not 100 percent sure. So it should look like this, if you're going formal.

Mr Nicolas Cage and Ms Annie Oakley
1234 Main Street
Happytown, USA 99999

I agree address them both by their full names.

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Great point!! We definitely want them to bring their significant other, but not necessarily a "random" person. I don't really see that happening, but I don't want to leave that open as an option.

Both by name: Mr. John Smith & Ms. Jane Doe

Definitely both full names. The person that owns the stationary store where we ordered our invites told us the correct way to address an unmarried couple is the woman’s name on the first line and the man’s name on the line below hers.

View Quoted Comment I think it is most likely if they break up then they may bring another date. But even if not, youd be surprised what people will do haha, you’ll be told by everyone on here, you can’t expect that people will assume ANYTHING lol you have to be very direct!

Definitely by name. I went to a wedding recently where invites and place cards were addressed as "guest" for some in long term relationships and the couples were very upset about it. Someone else made a good point about not wanting them to bring someone else, but I also think this could be offensive.

I would strongly recommend you reconsider STDs at all, and esp. how they related to SOs/Dates. Don't ASSUME that if they break up, they won't both show up (and even ask for their own plus ones)

Absolutely both by name.

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Dangit really? I thought the man's was on the first line.

View Quoted Comment I would also add, especially if they are couples who have not been together long, you may want to just put your friend’s name (no SO) on the save the date. Unless the couple was living together or engaged or married, we just addressed the save the date to our friend....... and, between our save the dates and invitations, more than half of those couples had broken up. The ones that are still together, will have their names on the invitations

You should address them by name. The only time you'd use "and Guest," is if it's a single person that you're allowing a plus one.

View Quoted Comment We put them both on the same line and listed whoever was our friend first and their SO second, regardless of gender

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I agree it definetly is offensive! FH and I have lived together for 5 years now. we own a house together. I have been called "and guest" once. We did not attend. We even questioned the friendship as it was somewhat new and they had met FH while we were engaged and already owned a home. It is extremely disrespectful. They are already a family unit. You would not invite someone's spouse as a "guest"

View Quoted Comment Only if they’re married then the man’s name goes first. It’s not a big deal if you did it differently, just thought I would share the proper etiquette from a person who does nothing but stationary/invitations.

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Thank you for sharing

Put down the name of their partner. If you put “and guest,” then they can invite any one random person to come along with them.

Address both people.

My husband got an invite to a wedding, we had lived together for two years, owned our home and were engaged. I was listed as "guest". I was pissed. They had met me, it would have taken no time to text/message my husband if they forgot my name. But no, I was guest.