Addressing Fbil's save the date

Did she say why she thinks they should be separate...? My initial reaction would be 1 invite addressed to FBIL "and guest"

When I had couples who didn't live together, I mailed it to one person but it was addressed as "Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Doe." I wouldn't do "and guest" because they are in a relationship and "and guest" is reserved for a plus one for a single, unattached individual.

I agree. I would mail it to your FBIL and also have her name on it but mail it to his address.

Yeah I don’t know where I’m the world your FMIL got the idea that they should get separate invites and save the dates but maybe because they aren’t married or something lol but not going to lie that’s really out of tradition. Usually if they aren’t married you just give your future brother in law the invite with a plus 1. It also is too costly to do it your fmil’s way... it’s just really weird and out of norm to do it her way.

I would address it to FBIL and his fiancés name not as a plus one since they are engaged. But I would not do it separate.

View Quoted Comment For those who weren’t married but in a relationship. We just put “John Doe and Guest” only because if they break up then they still get a guest and if you do it the way of “John Doe and Jane Smith” then you have to go through the hastle of name change...etc. it’s too much work

View Quoted Comment She never said they were engaged?
You should send one save the date to your FBIL and his girlfriend, not FBIL and guest.

I don’t see why you would need two separate save the dates and invites. If you know that your brother in law and this woman are in a solid relationship and she will be his guest then send him the invite with both of their names. If they’re in a “serious relationship” she may find guest offensive 😟

If they live together, they should get their invitation addressed to the both of them. If they live separate, they get separate invitations

View Quoted Comment No way. She should be named on his invite. They are a social unit. Her invitation hinges solely on him bringing her.
My fiance and I have been getting invitations with both of our names and one of our addresses on the envelope for 2+ years, and we've been living together a month.
It would have been totally odd and weirded me out if his friends had sent me a personal invitation.

I have some that we’re inviting to our wedding who are not married or even engaged. We simply put their name and guest. So that way whoever their dating at the time can come and not be left out.

They get a joint one. If they do not live together it is addressed to him only, with a plus one. If they Do live together address it to both of them:
Mr John Smith and Ms Sandy Duncan

I would only send your FBIL's girlfriend a separate save the date (and invite) if you would want her as a guest regardless of her dating him. So if they were to break up tomorrow, would you still want her there? The answer to that question typically is how I answer sending a separate Save the Date/Invite, which i think you have already answered . Maybe meet your FMIL in the middle and put the girlfriend's name on the save the date you're sending to your FBIL.

Well the good news is that it's your wedding, not your FMIL 's. So the way you see it is how it goes. She is "FBIL and Guest. " and maybe this will encourage the excitement for each of you to spend more time getting to know each other after the wedding and building a great bond. But your wedding- your invites.

Would just do one invite to your fbil. If you want him to bring another date if they were to break up, put + guest. If you wouldn't be giving him a +1 if he were single, put just her name on it. That way if they break up, it's clear the invite doesn't extend to just anyone.

While I was engaged my FH's brother got married and I was just included on my FH's invitation. I don't see any reason why you would need to send them separate. I was not offended in any way and it made 100% sense as to why we were included on one together.

I can see maybe sending her a separate save the date so she can have one of her own to display on her fridge or what not.

I would do both their names and FBIL’s address. That is what I’m doing with my brother’s girlfriend.

I plan on addressing everything to my FH's brother as "Mr. John Smith & Miss Jane Doe." One less invite and STD to print and they're just as much a couple as me and my FH, just not married.

View Quoted Comment

Right, that's exactly what I said lol.

View Quoted Comment Oh. I read that as if they lived separately they would get separate invitations. Which would be so odd. Lol. My bad.