Addressing Couples on Invitations

Exactly! You don't lose your identity just because you got married haha. 🙄😂

Thank you for the input!

Agreed. I don't like my FH and I being referred to as "The Future Mr. and Mrs. Reed Lewis". I still have a first name, and I'm my own person!

Yeah absolutely! I know it's considered "formal" to do that but I literally cringe every time I receive something addressed like that lol

I'm not sure I know anyone who cares about trivial formality. I honestly think Mr. & Mrs. Last Name is more modern and feminist. Like Gen said, the old fashioned "Mrs. His First His Last" is outdated, and rooted in the idea of women being men's property. So I'd honestly bypass that formality, whether it's deemed "proper etiquette" or not.

I would go through the effort to double check the legal/preferred names of everyone on your list before addressing every married couple as Mr. & Mrs. His Last. I kept my maiden name after getting married, and while I wouldn't really care all that much if we got an invitation addresses to Mr. & Mrs. His Last, there are women who are very tied to the names they've chosen and not honoring their legal name can be considered disrespectful.

I don't like "Mr. and Mrs. Justin Timberlake." Yes it's proper but for me it just irks me that the wife's name disappears. I know that not the intention but it's just how I feel haha! Do what makes you happy and don't worry too much about it being perfectly proper. Your guests will toss the envelope anyway! We did the very improper "Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Doe." but "Mr. and Mrs. Doe" would be more concise and might fly under the radar more!

My FBIL and his wife sent us their address spreadsheet that they used for their wedding to help us out, and I noticed she addressed everyone as "Mr. and Mrs. *husbands first, last name", and it just really bothered me haha!

We checked through all of the couples and the only one that we had to made sure was right was one of FH's SIL. She's just graduated from vet school, but got married before. Everyone is VERY confused as to what her last name is because at her practice, she uses her maiden name, but on certain things it's hyphenated, but then she also goes by her married last name sooooooo, we had to check with her lol.

Exactly! That's my same reasoning as to why I can't stand addressing couples that way. It's not like the wife loses her identity one she's married lol, she's still a person!

We ultimately went with "Mr. and Mrs. *last name*" simply because it's short and sweet and to the point lol.

I think its always a sign of respect to check in with someone and see how they prefer their name be listed. It shows that you care about them enough that you want to get it right.

One of my coworkers still uses her maiden name at work because there was another woman in her office with the same first initial and married last name and she thought it would have been really confusing (oddly, both of them married men with the same first and last name, but one of them is from the south and goes by his middle name). Both started working here before they were married and changed their names after. So my coworker still uses her maiden name for all her professional stuff at work, but her legal name is different (her paycheck and tax forms at work are her legal name, everything else is her maiden name).

I would probably answer if anyone addressed me by Mrs. My Husband's Last Name and if we have kids they'll have his last name, so getting "misnamed" will probably become more common. But legally, I plan to keep my name and always try to show respect to other women who do. Also all the pets get my last name.

We will be addressing our invitations as "Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe." The old way (Mr. and Mrs. John Doe) is sexist and outdated at this point. "Mr. and Mrs. Doe" is definitely a lot better!

Thanks Michaela! Yes, we ended up addressing our STDs that way! So much easier and there's less chance of someone getting offended!

I put "The Timberlake Family". If someone put "Mr & Mrs.. (husband's name) (last name)" on an invitation for me I would be a little upset.

If we invited the whole family, that's what we did as well. We ended up using: "Mr. and Mrs. Timberlake" because I too would feel upset if my name was left off of the address. I'm my own person and have my own identity outside of my spouse!