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SLY
Master January 2022

Addressing Couples on Invitations

SLY, on December 10, 2020 at 8:16 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 34

Hi everyone!

When addressing invitations and such to a married couple, I know the proper etiquette is to use 'Mr. and Mrs. *husbands first & last name*'. I'm not a huge fan of this, and was wondering if it's okay to just put 'Mr. and Mrs. *couple's last name*'.

ex. instead of: Mr. and Mrs. Justin Timberlake ----- I would use: Mr. and Mrs. Timberlake

Just wanting some thoughts on this and whether you would be fine receiving an envelope addressed as such! Thanks!!

34 Comments

Latest activity by SLY, on December 23, 2020 at 12:00 PM
  • Lisa
    Legend July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    I personally think that's fine! When I get mail, I don't care too much about how it's addressed, as long as I can easily tell who it's addressed to.
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  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
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    I think that is fine.

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  • SLY
    Master January 2022
    SLY ·
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    Perfect, thank you! My FH and I don't care either haha but I was still curious to know what everyone else thought! Thanks!

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  • SLY
    Master January 2022
    SLY ·
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    Awesome, thank you!

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  • Eri
    Super October 2020
    Eri ·
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    That's perfectly fine!

    I wasn't consistent with mine because some of my guests are more formal, others more casual, and we had lots of different family situations going on.

    I did Mr. First Last & Mrs. First Last on quite a few, but that can get a little long.

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  • L
    Dedicated August 2021
    Lw ·
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    I think addressing by the husband’s first and last name needs to go away completely. My FMIL is all about being proper and threw a fit because I didn’t address like this and in some cases I didn’t put the male first. I put whoever I knew first (male or female). So for girlfriends and their SO, I put her name first. For couples, it is however we typically address them.
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  • SLY
    Master January 2022
    SLY ·
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    Great! I found that we aren't consistent either for the same reasons you listed above.

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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    That's what we did. Like you I didn't like the idea of addressing it with Mr. and Mrs. husband's first and last name. In my mind, it made it seem like the wife doesn't have her own identity. No one seemed to have an issue with us addressing them as just Mr. and Mrs. Last Name.
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  • T
    Super April 2021
    Tiger Bride ·
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    For women who took their husbands' last names, we did Mr. and Mrs. Justin Timberlake. Not having a first name on an envelope just looks odd to me!

    "Mrs." means "the wife of" so technically I will be Mrs. Justin Timberlake, even though I am hyphenating my name. I would actually be more okay with being referred to as "Mrs. Justin Timberlake" as opposed to "Mrs. Sarah Timberlake", who is a person that doesn't exist on two levels - I am not Sarah Timberlake, much less her wife!

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  • SLY
    Master January 2022
    SLY ·
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    I couldn't agree more! I've felt like it showed that one spouse was more important than the other, which I can't stand haha...My FBIL and his wife addressed their invites the 'more formal' way, and I was using their wedding spreadsheet as a guide for our addresses.

    I also did the same with the couples! Thank you so much for your input!

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  • SLY
    Master January 2022
    SLY ·
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    Exactly, that's my issue with addressing it that way. Glad to hear no one had an issue, thanks for the input!

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  • SLY
    Master January 2022
    SLY ·
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    I see what you mean! I thought about writing out both parties' first names, but we have so many people with long names that it looks so off putting on the envelope!

    Thanks for the input!

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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    I don't see any issue with it. Go for it.
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  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
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    Yes definitely! We had a very expensive and formal wedding and actually went one step further and addressed invitations as "Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith." A big pet peeve of mine is not including the women's name on the invitation! It's 2020 and I think it's time society does away with the old ways...

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  • SLY
    Master January 2022
    SLY ·
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    We thought about addressing them that way, but I think we're going to go with Mr. and Mrs *last name*! It's simple and isn't too formal, which is what we're going for.

    Yes!!! I agree completely!

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  • M
    Dedicated June 2020
    Michelle ·
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    I personally HATE “Mr and Mrs John Smith” my name is NOT Mrs John Smith, it’s Mrs Michelle Smith. So I purposely avoided this when we sent invitations for our wedding. I addresses them as Mr and Mrs John and Jane Smith, like one of the other posters above. I also did this because I know my friends who are married feel the same way; they did not lose their first names because they got married!
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  • SLY
    Master January 2022
    SLY ·
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    I'm not a fan of it either haha! It's just very outdated and I feel that it doesn't respect the other half of the marriage.

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  • Michelle
    Champion December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    That is fine. Most people won't notice or care.
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    Sounds perfect! Personally I hate being addressed as “Mrs Husband’s Name” it feels so outdated and anti feminist 🙄 like I changed my last name yes, I didn’t adopt his identity lol. For ours we used both first names like “Mr John and Mrs Jane Smith.” But I think “Mr and Mrs Smith” is fine too.
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  • Georgia
    Savvy May 2022
    Georgia ·
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    I would hate being referred to as "Mrs John Smith". My first name isn't "John". Honestly Mr and Mrs Whoever is a fine way to address someone on an invitation.

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