Addresses via Facebook

I dunno. People move around enough and for those of us who don't send out christmas cards, I don't really keep a hold onto addresses.

Even if you're right, and she's inviting people to fill up a set number in her mind, why does that bother you? Is it because you don't want to spend the money or the time to go?

Yeah, that one seems a little weird. I agree that it seems she just wants bodies, to fill up a room...especially if he hasn't even seen or hung out with her since high school. I wouldn't wanna go either...LOL!!

Eh I wouldn't judge how she collects addresses...that may be all or most of her guest list and she thought a Facebook group was the easiest way. She may have other ways of getting their addresses she just chose to do it that way. To your point, if he hasn't been in touch with this woman in fifteen years, then no I would not feel any obligation to go. But if he wants to and there's no conflict, why not? If the bride wants to treat her wedding like a high school reunion that's on her. Go have fun!

I agree with you that is a lot of people that she doesn't know addresses for, was she invited to your wedding? many people invite friends that they haven't seen in a long time because they were invited to the persons wedding.

But also did she specifically say that it was for wedding invitations? she may want them for something else.

ETA: i am with tania the i would have prefered that we only invite people we have seen in the past year which for the most part we have seen everyone. except for most of FILs invites and two on my side of the family we have seen everyone with in the past year.

My FH made a private facebook group to get addresses. It only has 30 people on it, though, including us.

Addresses are just a thing we don't have. Even our local friends... like, it's way easier to ask on Facebook than to be like, "Okay, I know which house is theirs, so I'm gonna walk over the mile and a half and look at the house number." Plus we have a lot of out-of-state friends because FH isn't from here.

So I say the woman's method of address collection is sound.

If you think she doesn't know you guys well enough for it to make sense to go to her wedding, then decline the invite when she sends it.

We got almost all of our addresses from asking on FB. We don't write letters/send cards/etc. so we didn't have any addresses, including FH's close relatives, like his brother.

It is a little odd she asked them in a group setting. We individually messaged people.

I have collected address through FB but not a group conversation. I sent a private message to each person individually.

I'll try to answer everyone's questions so far.

It isn't the time or money to go I feel as though if you haven't talked to someone in 15 years maybe there's a reason.

No, she was not invited to our wedding. There were only ten people at our wedding and we didn't have a reception. I will ask my husband if we had a reception if he would have wanted to invite her.

Yes, she actually private messaged him last night because he didn't respond and said I need your address for wedding invitations.

I'm going to use ineedyouraddress.com which emails address entries, which could be used in a closed facebook group - but still keep addresses private instead of posting it for the 140 something people to see.

My friend who's actually getting married saturday did this, it was chaotic trying to help her scroll through the mass of addresses and input them into WW's guest list. I wish I had known about it sooner so I could have steered her that route.

Considering the issues with getting addresses from people...BY any means necessary!

Okay, you have a valid feeling on why you shouldn't go. Decline the invitation.

I don't understand the judgment of who someone else wants to invite though. The part where it impacts you is in feeling like you don't know her well enough anymore to attend. After that, there's no reason to ruminate on it any more.

I got a few addresses on Facebook through direct message, not a closed group where everyone in the group can see. I had to get extended families addresses and I didn't have their number but we are friends on Facebook. Sometimes it's easier to send a message.

I grouped messaged people through facebook for addresses... but just family. Honestly I'm not inviting half my FAMILY because I haven't talked to them in years! I did a few group messages in groups of people they talk to... yeah... we have a hatfield and mc Coy situation in my family. Only one person in my dad's family gave me their address! So that's the only one from his family.... besides him that I'm inviting. I'm sure none of them will drive the 6 hours for my wedding though (including my dad). I never felt like part of that family anyways. Hell found out through facebook about my grandfather passing away!

That does seem very odd. I did a group message saying I needed addresses for cards. Some sent the address right on the page while others sent it via private message.