Add more to the guest list?

I think that would be more than enough time. Especially if you already had some "maybe's" on your guestlist already!

Definitely! I think a lot of people do this actually.

This is called B listing and it’s generally considered rude.

View Quoted Comment Why would it be considered rude? I want the people there but budget wise we couldn’t afford to add more people. The guest that declined we’re family that we “had to” invite because of who they are. Now that they have officially said no we could add the others back on. They would have no idea that they were added back because someone wise declined

View Quoted Comment If someone wasn’t invited to your wedding in the first place, they shouldn’t get an invite just because someone more important declined. You may think they won’t find out that they were on your second string of invites, but if one single person from your b list knows anyone from your original list, they will find out.

View Quoted Comment I couldn’t agree more with you Emma. Unfortunately, we can’t always invite everybody we want to, whether it’s due to budgetary restraints, venue restrictions, or new COVID-19 restrictions that limit the amount of people you can invite. I think if you have declines, and there are people you would really love to be there, why wouldn’t you extend the invitation if you now have room for them? Especially if they have no way of knowing they were invited after the fact! Personally, even if I knew I was invited late, I would still be grateful for the invite and understanding that family comes first.

View Quoted Comment I mean our invites just went out this past Monday so I don’t think they’ll be able to tell. Plus we wouldn’t be changing the rsvp date either

View Quoted Comment So true! The people i want to invite are girls that i mentored while I was a senior and they were in middle school. They are honestly like little sisters to me!

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I don't think its rude. We have an "A" and "B" list right now as well. If your invitations literally just went out this week and you plan on sending theirs out soon also, I don't think they would know. I know plenty of people who have sent their invitations out in "phases" with out of town guest being sent first. I think you'll be fine!

View Quoted Comment Yes! We sent out of town guest on the 13th and in town guest have been going out as I’ve gotten the invitations done and the remaining addresses since the 20th

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I think you'll be fine!

I think under "normal" circumstances people would feel offended if they knew they got an invitation after someone else. But during Covid, I think all rules almost go out the window.

I think it’s ok to invite those other people

I think that’s a great idea! With COVID we were instructed to send out our first round of invites and then send out the rest about a month later depending on how many people RSVPd. COVID erases all “rules” 🤷🏻‍♀️

I used to think being the B list pick was more rude before I planned my own wedding. Now I get it and wouldn’t be offended. These per person costs really add up fast.


If Aunt Kaye and Uncle Karl, the “courtesy invites” because they are family, end up declining, I’d love to have one of my friends attend in their place.

I’d say no. Something similar happened to us for a wedding this past weekend. Because of the pandemic they had a ton of no’s and decided to invite more people so they could meet their minimum. I only know this because one of the bridesmaids is a friend of mine. We declined. I thought it was rude and made us feel unimportant like you only have room for us when others say no? It’s offensive. We have our wedding in August and sent out invitations even if people decline we aren’t finding more people ton invite.

Thats what im doing. i had extra invites made just in case

Not rude at all! Most brides don't have the money, freedom, or room to invite everyone they want there. My hubby and I would invite 500 people if possible, but we're limited to 300. Especially with COVID going on, you're totally fine to do this. Your response to any questions can be as simple as "we are trying to keep guest count as small as possible in case of any COVID restrictions, so if any mandatory family says no, we are able to bring in a few other people that we couldn't invite the first time due to the possibility of restrictions". Nothing about that is rude. It's your wedding and you're paying, so you make the decisions. Tons of brides do this, so don't let a few that say it's "rude" sway you away from inviting a few girls that you weren't able to invite otherwise. You likely wanted them there all along, but just couldn't invite them because your mandatory guest list took up so much space - and you can't magically make extra room for capacity at your venue or defy COVID restrictions or make any excess room in the budget. Wishing you the best of luck! ❤️

I would say under normal circumstances I would say it is rude, but we aren't under normal circumstances so I think it is totally fine to invite more people. If someone finds out they didn't make the original cut, I would just kindly explain that you could only have so many people at your wedding.

You're close enough to your original send date and your RSVP deadline is far enough away that no one will know that they were B listed. I say go for it!


Now a few weeks from now, you may want to be more transparent with your C listers that you couldn't initially invite them due to restrictions, but you would love for them to attend. That's completely different than inviting someone just to hit your minimim.