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Jessica
Dedicated October 2017

A wedding without dancing

Jessica, on March 15, 2016 at 11:37 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 3 85

Fh and I decided that we don't want any dancing at our wedding. We only plan on inviting around 50 people to our wedding. Fh and I do not dance, no one in my family would dance and we figured with the small amount of people we could have some speakers with music playing in the background and serve dinner. We thought people could socialize and eat and we just wouldn't have a very long reception. (We also have a very small budget). However Fh's family thinks this is ridiculous. They told us that we have to dance and if we don't have dancing they think we need to have some other form of entertainment. His sister suggested karaoke but I quickly shut down that idea. Now his mom is suggesting a wedding singer or a band. I just don't see the point of that if we are not going to dance. Opinions please... How would you feel going to a wedding without dancing? Do you think we should have some other form of entertainment?

85 Comments

Latest activity by Danni, on January 24, 2024 at 11:21 AM
  • B
    Expert October 2016
    Blahblah ·
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    If you don't want dancing you could do a Sunday brunch ceremony and reception. That way you can do first dance and mother/father dances and no other dancing

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  • ChocolatierKT
    VIP September 2016
    ChocolatierKT ·
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    I went to one. No alcohol and no dancing. It's was extremely awkward. We sat there asking each other what we are supposed to do. We ate, talked a little, and left. ETA sounds like FI'S family likes to dance. Other people dancing is entertaining too.

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  • Mrswelch
    Master December 2017
    Mrswelch ·
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    I personally don't like dancing, so it wouldn't bother me much lol. But I think it depends on your guests, and it sounds like some of your VIP guests need something more so I think you and your FH should consider that.

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  • Jay Farrell
    Jay Farrell ·
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    There would have to be something to take it's place as far as activity. From a photo standpoint, I like dance photos because of the energy captured, can there be garden games or anything else interactive? As a guest, it would take away one element of fun. You would have to be creative to spice it up without dancing since many expect it.

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  • Jessica
    Dedicated October 2017
    Jessica ·
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    Thanks for the opinions! I understand what everyone is saying about finding something else to do. I am nearly positive it wont be dancing though. When we really thought about our guest list we only could think of about 10 people that are invited that would actually dance. I think we should try to think of something everyone could enjoy. FH already said he will not dance at all. He would be to uncomfortable.

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  • ChocolatierKT
    VIP September 2016
    ChocolatierKT ·
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    Then yes plan something. Outside wedding would be good for lawn games

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  • mandybeth
    Super August 2017
    mandybeth ·
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    I'm having a dj and renting a dance floor for our outdoors wedding. Most of our guests won't dance. I'm doing it anyway in the off chance they do and because I sure as hell will be.

    I also plan on doing yard games- jenga and corn hole.

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  • futureMrs.Poore
    Super January 2018
    futureMrs.Poore ·
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    Fh is the same way he gets all awkward. But we will still have dancing because I know the majority of my guest will enjoy it. But we will probably have a good amount of slow songs played because fh likes to slow dance just not the kind of dancing you do to fast songs like you do at a club. Although I do. So we'll have a good mix. And we plan to have a customs corn whole board made and other lawn games played.

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  • BlueHenBride
    Master March 2017
    BlueHenBride ·
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    I was a BM in a wedding that had a cake and punch ceremony with no dancing. The groom's family did not approve of dancing, and the bride decided to be respectful. The bride and groom left for their honeymoon after the official reception, but the bride's family opened up their house and gigantic backyard for an after party. Those who wanted more party were welcome to go to the house to enjoy BBQ dinner, relax, and possibly dance. Dancing never happened, but the guests kept mingling and kept the party going late, even though the bride and groom were long gone.

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  • J
    Savvy March 2017
    Jody ·
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    What about something like cornhole, lawn darts, the Tic Tac Toe boards you throw bean bags at, or horse shoes? Also, maybe consider a small local three piece band. They usually play pretty cheap and you can find their fliers at places like Guitar Center. This way, there isn't awkward silence, and if people want to dance, there will be music to dance to.

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  • Jen D.
    VIP May 2017
    Jen D. ·
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    A friend of mine went to a wedding where they set up board games all over the room and everyone played board games. Personally, not for me- we will have dancing- but it fit the couple perfectly and she said everyone seemed to have a really great time.

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  • MrsA
    Master October 2015
    MrsA ·
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    We had an early afternoon reception with background music and no dancing. The reception started at Noon and people started leaving around 3:00. It wasn't missed and we didn't need to "entertain" people. We all ate, did cake, and had socialized. Time flew by.

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  • AlexisM082
    Master February 2016
    AlexisM082 ·
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    Oh. My. God. You must be friends with my SIL from hell. When she told us they were going to have a "social wedding". We thought she was joking. Please.... Don't do this to your guests. Have afternoon tea if you want socializing.

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  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
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    You can have a nondancing reception without other entertainment. However, the length of it should be more like a dinner party, rather than a late into the night thing.

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  • AMW
    Master September 2016
    AMW ·
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    Something else to do? Would they prefer you hire a juggler to entertain?

    We're not having dancing. We're getting married, then having cocktails with our guests, a sit-down dinner, and cake. We expect guests to leave following that. It should be a three hour event, maybe four, which is PERFECT. Then I can whisk my new hubby away and have the rest of the evening to ourselves. I can't think of anything worse than sitting around watching enforced entertainment for the rest of the night and getting to the hotel so late we just collapse in exhaustion.

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  • MrsRivera
    VIP February 2016
    MrsRivera ·
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    We had a three hour reception, with an open bar, appetizers during cocktail hour, a plated meal, and cake cutting and toasts. That's it. And everyone had a great time! We knew our guests would prefer drinking and talking to dancing, so that's what we did. Not to mention, it saved us quite a bit of money. Especially since we had our reception at a restaurant so I didn't have to worry about any rentals.

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  • Punkin Beer
    Master October 2017
    Punkin Beer ·
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    No lie, not having dancing seems very sad for a wedding. It's almost worse than a dry wedding....

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  • Jessica
    Dedicated October 2017
    Jessica ·
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    I live in Oregon so an outside wedding is out of the question about 85% of the year. So far every idea we have had FH's family has not liked and said was stupid (however they suggested a New England Patriots wedding cake and thats not crazy at all) so I figured that was why they were insisting on dancing. Everyone keeps telling me to think of my guests but I am. More of the guests would not want to dance. Why should we do something that costs more and we don't want for just a couple people?

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  • MrsRivera
    VIP February 2016
    MrsRivera ·
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    Just keep the reception short, like you said in your OP. To properly host your guests, you need to provide food and beverages and a place to sit. That does not include providing a dance party.

    While some people clearly can't imagine a wedding without dancing, there's nothing wrong with doing it that way. As I said before, our wedding turned out great.

    ETA: It's not like she's telling her guests they must sit and talk and do nothing else for six hours! She's talking about having a dinner party reception (aka short), and y'all are acting like she's strapping them into their chairs with nothing to do.

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  • Susan
    VIP September 2016
    Susan ·
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    It is your wedding. You should do what you feel comfortable with. I've been to weddings where hardly anyone danced and that was way more awkward than no dancing. Plus a lot of wasted money. I think a nice dinner and mingle time is perfect. You are giving people the gift of time.

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