a wedding after - party

I'm confused about the plan for the day? Is there a part of it where people are paying for their own tab? Anyway you'll need to clarify with the venue.

Honestly, to me it is very clear what he is saying. He is saying that you will be running a tab so the cost depends on what everyone orders. (running a tab: to allow a bill to accumulate until the end at which point you will pay it) He wants to know about how many people, not so he can plan on price but so that he can plan for how busy the place will be for staff/kitchen/bartenders. If you don't want people to order what they want and charge it to you, you need to discuss with the owner asap. If its a typical restaurant, he most likely is not planning any of your other suggestions such as a consumption bar. (consumption bar: where you say you will pay the first $5000, then everything else is on the guests).

as for the timeline, I am not commenting on it, but from what you posted it appears that you will be having:

a wedding ceremony with both younger and older people attending

a true reception, but only for the older invitees, where the younger people are going is unclear.

a party at a bar in which you have only invited the younger people

a pizza party back at the main venue with everyone

Honestly, your timeline seems confusing, expensive, and overly complicated. I think you're going to find it *extremely* stressful to try to plan all of that for one day, have things run smoothly, etc. Plus, you're going to have to do weird things with invitations, since all the same people aren't invited to all the same events. With the gaps, you're going to have people who don't attend all of the parts to which they are invited, so RSVPs will be complicated (for you and for your guests).

Also, how are you defining the "older crowd who may rest?" Is it an age cutoff? What happens when a couple spans the cutoff age?

If I were you, I would see if I could just find a venue to have my reception at and be done with it, rather than trying to plan so MUCH into one (already long and stressful) day.

How was that not helpful? Also your timeline sounds complicated, and are you separating people into different groups for all of these events? You should be hosting everyone equally.

I agree that your plan seems to be making the day way more complicated (and probably more expensive) than it needs to be. You will thank yourself later if you simplify things and don't try to segregate guests into age groups. But also, if you do stick with this plan, like other said, "running a tab," has a specific meaning that the owner is now probably confused why you don't understand. I think a phone call would be the way to communicate from here on out.

You might consider listening to what people are saying, though. I know you don't want to hear it, but you plans may be confusing and problematic. You can't tell people not to post though even when it's your thread.