a “thank you” card with no handwritten note?

View Quoted Comment That’s a good way of looking at it... I find it difficult to really swallow and accept because she is an adult. She’s grown in her 30’s and if you’re still looking to your friends to make your own decisions, then that’s too bad. Her younger sister got married years ago and did a thank you card, so she’s aware but when she proclaimed she was absolutely not doing it, then cool, I respect her decisions. What irks me is she can’t think for herself and didn’t do it right. Being the bride, bridesmaid/guest in one week- it takes a lot for people to be part of your wedding and to attend. So I’m guessing my issues are that she couldn’t write a little note and that in her 30’s, she still can’t make her own decisions- which is a completely different story.


I will think more on what you’ve said. I appreciate your compassionate stance. Thank you!!

View Quoted Comment She only did the photo book and photobooth only after she learned that I did it. It was an option from her from way before. She had the freedom and decision to make it but it was only after she saw me do it was when she did it.

View Quoted Comment I have never understood why some think it enough to just sign a blank card with a printed thank you either. But every few years, in cycles, wedding magazines and columns, now websites, publish from the writer, or from readers, the suggestion that at showers, the hostesses pass out envelopes, so every guest can address one to themselves to put with their gift, so the bride does not have to do it. She can just sign a card, stuff it, and mail it, without the hardship of writing a name and address. 5or 6 years ago I was at two showers that did it, and the shower hostesses proudly said the show where they heard the helpful hints. At the second, they collected the envelopes mid shower. And as we walked out the door, we were handed the envelope we had addressed to ourselves. While bride was opening gifts, a BM hostess took a stack of pre-signed cards, and put one in every envelope. It pops up on WW now and then. People unclear on the concept, that it is thoughtful for someone to give a gift, and that the recipient should be grateful to be given that gift, and express genuine thanks. It is the relationship and emotions between people that counts, not whether a signed piece of paper travels from one person to another.

View Quoted Comment I am with you 100%!!!

View Quoted Comment Right. She had the freedom to choose any plans for her wedding, whether it came from Pinterest, WW or from you. While wedding planning, inspiration and ideas can come from anywhere.


But it sounds like both of your weddings have passed (and I’m sure that each was wonderfully enjoyable) So, no need spending energy worrying or thinking about it. 🙃

I don't care what anyone says. If you don't send a handwritten thank you note for wedding gifts, it's incredibly rude. DH and I went to two weddings this fall and haven't received a "thank you" note for either. It's just gross.

View Quoted Comment I went to a shower recently that had us address our envelope but I couldn't imagine getting the thank you card at the shower right after.

View Quoted Comment I feel like yeah people will toss them after reading them but it's the thought of thanking people is so important but with these ideas of including pictures people would be more likely to keep the card.

I think it's rude to just print out the same card for everyone and send them. It's not a real thank you to me.

View Quoted Comment Exactly. It’s how you make people feel, that counts. We ordered nice cards but not too nice bc of the possibility of it being thrown away. In hindsight, I think added more personalized notes so they wouldn’t throw it away hahaha

View Quoted Comment Oh that's so weird. We had people address the envelopes at my baby shower but they all got a handwritten thank you sent back to them..even though my hands were so swollen and I had carpal tunnel..i still found the time and ability to write a note specifically to each person.

View Quoted Comment I’ve actually read about this. It seems to be the trend. Super tacky. I can understand getting addresses so you can give thank you cards but wouldn’t addresses already be stored somewhere from when you initially gave out invitations?

View Quoted Comment Carpal tunnel is real after writing so many thank you notes! I appreciate that you wrote thank you cards for your baby shower!

View Quoted Comment Yes. Bride gives addresses to shower hostesses, to invite people. All you are saving is the effort of 1 minute to copy an address on an envelope. Like that is too much for a bride to bother herself with? It may be good intentions by friends giving g a shower. But the message to guests is, you know bride has your address, but address your own envelope if you expect a thank you card. Not a nice message. And proper etiquette is to leave the impression that the bride liked your thoughtful gift, and can happily find 4 minutes to address an envelope, and hand write 4 sentences. And buy a stamp . Though I will say, up til the last few years, almost every shower, someone gave the bride 50-100 stamps, sometimes more . 200 invitations ( 170 guests plus WP actually came) +300 thank you notes, for showers, wedding gifts, and people very helpful, 500 stamps for the whole wedding process!
I appreciated the 3 people who gave us 50-100 stamps with another small shower gift. We wrote notes easily, but the budget was strained by wedding week, and most actual gifts were here and notes written by our wedding. Having stamps was nice.

It sounds to me like she has no interest in actually thanking people and just cared about more attention, which isn't the point of a thank you card. A thank you card is to show people how grateful you are that they attended and you sort of need words to do that. Some brides...

It sounds like she was just in a rush to send a "something" - And perhaps when she receives your "thank you" card she'll feel a little embarrassed by her actions. I was always taught, a hand written card speaks more than just a "blank" card.