A random plus one, if guests names were on the invitation?

Yes you can absolutely tell them that. Personally, if the guests weren't going to know anyone else at the wedding, I might let it slide, but it's rude of them to just assume that they can transfer their spouse's invite to someone else.

I don't think this would be appropriate for them to bring a random person. Especially if you specifically invited their spouse/SO by name rather than a generic "and guest". You'll have to politely tell them what you said above and that the invitation is only for them and their spouse/SO.

Ugh following. I've seen this happen a couple times on the forums and I cant believe people actually think this is okay!

I think it really depends on how you feel about the event. I'm sure there's some etiquette rule, but for me and the way I picture my event it wouldn't matter.

I think you should be able to say to them what you said here... that you were looking to have an event with only people you personally know and have a connection with.

I'm allowing those who's significant other can't make it to bring someone in their place. I wouldn't want to go to a wedding alone. I budgeted for 2 guests anyway.

Thanks all.

And yeah, @catlady5x, I guess I meant those who have been dating since we sent the invites out. I think I know of one of my FHs friends who has since began dating someone, but since he already RSVPed before he started dating her, we're keeping it at that guest count. period.

I think it's rude if they assume they can just bring a substitute guest and don't ask.

I personally wouldn't care who they brought, since I budgeted for 2 seats regardless. This happened at my wedding - my coworker's husband doesn't like weddings so she asked if she could bring her friend. I said sure, because if she'd have fun with her friend I'd rather that than her come alone and not really have any one to talk to. She did know other coworkers, but she wasn't very close with them so I know she wouldn't have had as much fun.

But, it is within etiquette for you to say that you can only accommodate the people who were on the invitation. I guess I just wouldn't care that much.

Yeah, though we budgeted for 2 seats, we also have some friends who just didn't make the list due to our guest count constraints, and it would be nice to extend the invite to those people if the husbands couldn't make it.

I don't think you should send invites out to B list guests. What if their husbands change their plans and can attend?

Ok but how are you already getting RSVPs like 3 months before your wedding...?

Your idea of inviting "replacements" is called a B-list, and it is frowned upon as bad etiquette.

I think it's rude to make a guest attend alone, yes you want to keep it intimate, but you want to make your guests feel comfortable. If I were the guest and my husband couldn't make it, I would want to bring someone else. If I couldn't, I don't know if I would want to go at all if I was forced to go alone.

I guess that's where I'm lenient on etiquette. Especially some friends know we had a limited amount of space and understood that we were keeping it small since family made up more than 50% of our guest list -- I think they would be understanding and want to attend if we ended up having the extra space.

personally, I've never brought someone who wasn't on the invite to a wedding even though I've been with my fiance for 10 years, and have attended an elopement alone because it seemed implied the invite was just for me... but it's interesting hearing different people's perspectives.

But appreciate everyone's input!

Wait until they RSVP. If they bring a "replacement" guest, call them (don't text) or talk to them in person and let them know gently but firmly that the invitation was specifically for their husband, and you are having an intimate wedding so you would not be comfortable with a different person there.

I, your wedding is in July? How have RSVP's already been done? If you friend is still dating that person in three months, then they should be invited as well.

I’m having this same thing and it’s of course all these random people my parents insisted on who I don’t even want to attend. And they want to bring children and it very specifically says all over our site no kids it’s so frustrating. It’s literally my husbands parents neighbors who I’ve never met like please just decline.