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The Bride
Master March 2019

a Heartbreaking Decision

The Bride, on August 15, 2019 at 7:57 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 47
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WARNING:THIS IS A VERY SERIOUS SENSITIVE TOPIC

Back in 2018 a man by the name of Frederick Cunning was forced to make a heartbreaking decision when his wife had complications during her pregnancy. The wife was hemorrhaging horribly and doctors only had time to either perform surgery on her or save the baby.
Ultimately Frederick chose to save his baby daughter and his wife only lived long enough to see photos of the baby before she passed away.

The public was mixed on this situation with some saying he couldn't have loved his wife since he let her die for the baby whom he hadn't built a relationship with yet while others supported his decision saying that if the surgery with the wife went bad he could have lost them both.

Would you want your spouse to save you or your child? Have you and your spouse discussed situations like this?


P.S. this is a no judgement zone so please be respectful in the comment section.

a Heartbreaking Decision 1

47 Comments

Latest activity by The Bride, on August 19, 2019 at 8:24 PM
  • B
    VIP July 2017
    Becky ·
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    We haven't talked about it, but I would want him to save the baby - all that *potential*

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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
    The Bride ·
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    I understand. Is this a conversation that you think you two will eventually have?

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  • Mrsbdg
    Champion August 2017
    Mrsbdg ·
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    We wrote this into my will/medical proxy/advance directive (not sure which). Before I had my tubal the doctor mentioned it would be good to have a will and a how-to for decision making.

    Neither of us us want to ever be parents. If I cannot communicate my husband knows to have the fetus removed.

    Im actually really surprised this topic is posted because it’s so controversial but it’s a super important t conversation to have with your partner!
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  • H
    Super September 2019
    H ·
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    We have three children already, but if we ever have a forth and a situation like this arose, I'd want him to save our baby. We have vaguely discussed this together in the past, he understands my reasoning and although he respectfully disagrees on what should be done, I believe he would honor my wishes.
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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
    The Bride ·
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    Having this kind of information in your will is super important. I agree that this is a controversial topic however it's a reality, it's about marriage, and it's something couples should discuss.

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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
    The Bride ·
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    Do you mind sharing your rationale?

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  • Ana
    Devoted September 2019
    Ana ·
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    We have never discussed this but I would anyone to save my baby. I have already had an amazing life and I love the children I have more then I love myself. They come first always 😊
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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
    The Bride ·
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    I understand. Do you plan to have the conversation soon?

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  • Heather
    Expert October 2019
    Heather ·
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    I would definitely want him to save the baby over myself. My fiancé and I already have 2 kids. And they’re everything to me (quite literally, I’m a stay at home mom, lol). But I’ve made this decision before myself, before I met my fiancé. I was pregnant and told I should abort because due to complications, the baby only had a 10% chance of surviving, but those complications could also cause health issues for myself, such as certain organs failing. I chose to give the baby that 10% chance. And when people asked me why? It’s simple. How could I, as a mother, make a conscious choice to kill my own child? I can’t. A baby will always be put before myself. And my fiancé knows this.
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  • Ana
    Devoted September 2019
    Ana ·
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    We will probably never have the conversation we don’t plan on having children
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  • Monique
    Devoted August 2020
    Monique ·
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    My fiance and I have talked about this and we agree that we would save me vs the baby. We're going to love our future child(ren) a ton but when it all boils down, our children are a physical embodiment of our love, not that we love each other because we're the parents of our child.
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  • Cristina
    Devoted December 2021
    Cristina ·
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    Before my FH and I became pregnant with our daughter, we talked about this. I had already had complications after having my son and was told one more baby "should" be fine. We both agreed that if I became pregnant and was told it was too risky to carry then we would terminate. He wouldn't want a baby without me. He was told he couldn't have kids but miraculously I ended up pregnant without trying. I had a high risk pregnancy that was closely monitored. After I had her my doctor advised me to stop since I have 2(one boy and one girl). 3 months ago I had my tubes removed and our daughter will be one in 3 weeks.
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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
    The Bride ·
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    I understand. It's good that you and your fiance had the conversation.
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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
    The Bride ·
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    Oh okay, thank you for sharing.
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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
    The Bride ·
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    I understand. Thank you for sharing.
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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
    The Bride ·
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    I understand. Do you think your family would have any objections to your decision?
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  • Cristina
    Devoted December 2021
    Cristina ·
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    My mom would have understood. When everyone found out I was pregnant again(on my side mainly) they were all very worried. I nearly died having my son. Thankfully I had 2 very good doctors this time and they took precautionary measures.
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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
    The Bride ·
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    Thank you for sharing.
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  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    I know FH would want to save me instead of the fetus. Yes, the child is important, but if it affects my life he will do anything to make sure I live. It would break his heart if he had to raise that child without me

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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
    The Bride ·
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    I understand. Thank you for sharing.
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