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Lynne
Super August 2022

a friend not supportive

Lynne, on June 25, 2019 at 8:21 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 25
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I'm having planning my Grease themed wedding & reception. But, a friend of mine is not being very supportive. My friend is doing what she can to talk me out of my theme. I keep telling her that she is not getting her way and that she needs to stop. She wants me to choose a different theme because she does not want to be like other guests and dress up for the wedding.

I'm trying to be nice to her but she is starting to bum me out. She won't win, my FH and I love the theme.

25 Comments

Latest activity by Stephanie, on July 4, 2019 at 4:05 AM
  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
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    I would tell her it’s your wedding and you have made up your mind and don’t need any more opinions. But she also doesn’t have to dress up if she doesn’t want to.
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  • Rachael
    Expert October 2019
    Rachael ·
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    Although I'm a little confused, here's my advice. I'm not 100% sure, but it sounds as though you are asking guests to dress in your theme as well? If you are, I'd let that go, and tell her she can dress as she wants as long as she's not in the bridal party. However, if she is in the bridal party, it might sound harsh, but since you've told her nicely plenty of times already, it might be time to tell her that if she doesn't like the theme, she is not required to come as a bridal party member, she is more than welcome to come as just a guest if she wants to wear something non-themed. This is your wedding, not hers, and she needs to take a step back

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  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
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    Agree with Kelly. You don't need to listen to her opinion about your wedding theme, but she as a guest also doesn't need to dress up to match your theme. Just reassure her of that and let her know that you're done talking about the theme.

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  • Melissa
    VIP September 2019
    Melissa ·
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    Are you doing a costume themed wedding? It’s your wedding, not hers so her opinion really doesn’t matter and she can pout all she wants. Grease is a good theme, but usually the theme includes decor, bridal party attire, but not usually guest attire. If you are requiring people to dress in themed clothes, I would probably show up in normal dress clothes as I’m not one for costumes.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Stop talking to her about it. It’s none of her business anyway.
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  • Lynne
    Super August 2022
    Lynne ·
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    I have had lady family members ask if they can dress up, I told them I didn't mind but they can't wear pink because that's the bridal party color.
    I did tell my friend she didn't have to dress up.
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  • Lynne
    Super August 2022
    Lynne ·
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    No, I didn't ask them to dress up for the theme. Some have asked if they could, I said sure just not pink. My friend isn't in the bridal party, I wonder if that's why she is being like this.
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  • Lynne
    Super August 2022
    Lynne ·
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    There are so many different rockabilly dresses that don't look like the ones for my bridal party. Some of my family members have asked if they could dress up and I said that no one can wear a pink dress.
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  • Lynne
    Super August 2022
    Lynne ·
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    Not costumes, they are 1950s swing dresses. I haven't asked any guest to dress up. Some have asked if they could and I am letting them know, they can't wear pink
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  • Lynne
    Super August 2022
    Lynne ·
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    I did just a few minutes ago. She called and started bringing it up. I simply told her that my mind is made up and if she doesn't like it she doesn't have to come to the wedding.
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  • Laura
    Master October 2019
    Laura ·
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    You're right, it's not about her, it's about you and what you want. I think it sounds amazing and it's something i'd love to go to and help plan! I can't wait to see some pictures next year!

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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    She doesn't have to dress up for the theme right? It's annoying that she's telling you what to do when it isn't her day. But you go on and do your thing anyway because you'll be happier knowing you did
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  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
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    I agree it's your wedding so any "theme" is your choice, as long as you don't expect/require guests to dress up. (Which it sounds like you are not.) However, your wedding is a year away, and as people say all the time on WW forums, "no one is going to be as excited about your wedding as you are." While your theme/ideas sound very unique and like it will be a fun theme party, you might want to keep some/more of the details to yourself and just let guests be surprised when it gets closer and/or you send STDs/invitations/etc. If you give away a lot of details now, it will create expectations and/or take away the element of surprise. It might be enough for now that friends know you are getting married. The less you talk about your plans, the less likely you'll get opinions you don't want.

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  • Lynne
    Super August 2022
    Lynne ·
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    Right, she doesn't have to.
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  • Lynne
    Super August 2022
    Lynne ·
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    That's true
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  • CDickman
    VIP September 2019
    CDickman ·
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    People can’t wear that is what the bridal color is? In all honesty as a guest that looks good in pink
    i may have bought a pink dress and not asked. It may be hard to be strict about that.
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  • CourtneyBrittain
    Master August 2019
    CourtneyBrittain ·
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    Typically, it’s considered rude to wear the color of the bridal party if you know it ahead of time. It can look like you’re trying to insert yourself into the party.
    Personally, I think it’s fine to request guests not wear a certain color
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  • Aida
    Devoted May 2021
    Aida ·
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    It's your wedding, not hers. She can set her own agenda if and when it is her time. But right now, if she wants to be present or show any support, she'll participate.

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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    Your wedding, your theme choice.

    How cool your guests will dress up! We asked guests to dress for our local reception as well. Everyone looked swell. We made sure the photographer got pics of everyone, we emailed a Dropbox link after for guests to download pics.
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  • L
    Lady ·
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    I think dictating what guests wear is a little over the top, personally. Guests wearing pink wont' take away from the bridal party at all. But I would just shut down conversation with your friend. Tell her she doesn't have to dress to the theme if she doesn't want to.

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