A Formal Apology and Some More Educated questions

I didn't see your post yesterday, but I will tell you that if you change you avatar you'll get more responses on your threads.

1. Be prepared for your entire guest list to not show up. The only way I would attend a weekday wedding is if it was for a family member or my best friends.

2. Define casual. What time of day? If your reception is during a meal time you need to provide guests with a full meal, especially if they are coming on a week night.

3. No. If you aren't close with them, don't worry about it. Don't talk wedding with them at all though. That would be rude to talk about it and then not invite them. My best friend had a small wedding, 30 guests, and her coworkers threw her a bachelorette party knowing that they weren't going to be invited to the wedding. They still wanted to celebrate with her. I think it'll be okay.

1) It's fine as long as you do it with the understanding that you may get more declines. I'd shoot for a Thursday so people can at least make it a long weekend if necessary.

2) BBQ all the way. I did BBQ and it was fantastic. Italian is another popular option.

3) In this case, no. It's not rude to accept an office shower and not invite your coworkers. That and church showers are the only exception to the rule that those invited to the shower must be invited to the wedding.

I don't think I caught your post yesterday but it sounds like you probably got verbally annihilated for violating a CG. It takes balls to come back and apologize so kudos to you. Change your avatar and stick around.

I was leaning towards BBQ too. And i'm not 100% sold on a weekday, but the venue i really love has a Monday and a Thursday open, but not my date, so I'm have a hard time ruling it out, plus almost HALF the price. Thanks for the input on the coworkers! I was feeling bad, but I just HATE hurting feelings.

I will change my avatar as soon as I can get to my computer! Thanks y'all.

OH, what does CG stand for?

1: I would do a Thursday, but not a Monday.

2: BBQ is definitely a good option and I think it's relatively cheap too!

3: Nah, these people don't expect invites. They Just acknowledge all the big events in your life. Don't feel bad!

CG = Community Guidelines... They're stickied. :-)

CG = Community Guidelines aka the rules of the forum.

You can look them up here: https://m.weddingwire.com/community-guidelines

1. I would probably do a Thursday, but not a Monday.

2. Agree with all the BBQ responses. Just...make sure you have good BBQ sauces!! (This comment stems completely from the fact that I recently attended a BBQ event that had literally 1 kind of sauce and it was awful.)

3. Nope, don't have to invite them. I agree that the church shower and work shower are the only ones that are exceptions to the "invite to the shower, invite to the wedding" rule.

I'm doing a Monday wedding, but it's a DW so anybody coming would have to take off for it. Be prepared for less people to come. Also, I love bbq. It's one of my favorite foods. Good luck in your wedding planning

I didn't see your post yesterday, I don't think.

1. We do weekday weddings all the time in season. Thursday is like our new Friday, and honestly, I don't see a lot of declines. I ask people about their count when I interview them, and then again when we finalize the week of. Generally, the counts are pretty close....

2. Casual? I love the station idea; I might even do cocktail hour first which gives you a buffer for latecomers and staves off that initial "I just came from work"" starvation. Stations, maybe a pizza truck as one of them, some passed things...I think it would be fun.

3. Don't invite co workers.

Hi Taylor! If you'll just post the picture you want to use for your avatar here in this thread, I'll update it for you. And welcome to WW!

I didn't see the post for which you're apologizing, but if you felt you crossed a line, then kudos to for the sincere apology.

1. Weekday weddings. I would not go with Monday (never), Tuesday (not going to happen), or Wednesday (only if I'm an English monarch). I'd prefer a Sunday or Friday, but if Thursday is available, I think that's you best shot. It's becoming more common. Sure, you may get some declines, but I'm betting that you'll get 80% attending. Remember, people do go out on Thursday evenings. Just don't expect them to hang around until the wee hours of the morning. Wrap it up by 9:30 PM.

2. Casual is fine, but you're asking for specific food choices. Your best bet is to talk to your venue (if it's an all inclusive) and see what they offer. If you're using an outside caterer, think of chicken and a fish dish if you're on a budget. If you're really on a budget, find an Italian catering service.

3. Coworkers? The truth is that you probably won't be in touch with any of them ten years from now. At our wedding, 35 years ago, we had four no-shows who accepted the invitation via the RSVP. They were two couples -- one of them connected to his job, and one of them connected to mine. I couldn't care less now. In fact, why did I even invite co-workers? Yes, they're nice and they can make the work day pass faster, but they're co-workers, not friends. Don't feel bad about it. In a day and age in which couples are slashing family members from their guest lists due to the high expense of weddings, you don't have to cry over co-workers who aren't going to be invited. Remember, a wedding is a series of expensive business transactions. You know who HAS to be there, and when it comes to anyone else, you have to be wise with your money.

@Celia- a pizza truck?? Is that a thing?

Sure! Food trucks can be integrated into the reception; I"m just not a fan of ALL the food coming from food trucks.

Food trucks can be a hit or miss. Even the best food trucks can suck at a wedding because the food is usually pre-made and maybe even reheated to cut line issues.

As for co-workers, do not feel bad at all. You invite who you want there. If you invite a few friends from work, but not all friends from work, things become even more complicated.

1. I didn't see your post from yesterday, but FH and I took a few days to ourselves and did a minivacation. (I highly recommend doing it smack dab in the middle of wedding planning. It was totally worth it.) As long as you learn from whatever happened yesterday, you're good.

2. I went to the reception of a weekday wedding, and it was weird. We're doing a Sunday wedding, and we got the same discounts as a weekday wedding. We are also doing casual food (burgers, brats, etc), and the people we've talked to about it are excited. We wanted a casual laidback affair, so we went with it. (Yes, it is professionally catered).

3. We both said no to inviting coworkers. We both manage teams of about 25 people, so that would add way too many people to the list. We love the people we work with, but neither of us spend any time with them outside of work I've never been upset, jealous, or anything about not being invited to a coworkers wedding, so I wouldn't worry about it.

I had thought about a wedding on a Thursday because it was less expensive... however the advice I was given is of it important to you that people come celebrate, then go with a Friday or a Sunday. I want my family and friends to be able to come and enjoy and some are having to take off the Friday of my wedding. I was stupid and wish I would have realized sooner how incontinent it is to my guest, but all of the guests we invited are able to make it that Friday.

Just to weigh in, and no offense intended, I'm not a fan of food trucks hosting a wedding dinner, and while I can almost smell the exhaust fumes, they're more than welcome at an office building between 12:00 and 1:30 PM. They're kind of cool long after a formal dinner has been cleared and the reception is still going strong after three and a half hours. Yep, your guests will love them if they're into late night snacks. I'm also not a fan of taco bars (messy), pizza (I don't care how fresh it is -- it's always Friday night pick-up/delivery), or subs (this needs no explanation, right?).

The weekday wedding - you know your guest better than anyone on here. Some people don't have your regular Mon-Fri, 9-5. So for the people saying "expect many declines" or "expect none of your guest list to, show up" it isnt true. My wedding is on a Thursday and we saved a ton of money. Before we booked we made sure the most important people would be able to attend. Once they said yes we went ahead with the planning. Our wedding is a month from tomorrow and out of the 120 we invited only 4 have declined. Many are coming from out of the state and a few from out of the country...even I was surprised! So my advice is if you want a weekday wedding -Thursday would probably be the best day! Make sure the people most important to you will be able to attend and if you can do your ceremony later. Mine is at 7:00pm so if someone has to work they should be able to make it!

Why do people say it's hard to find the CG's when you are on mobile? They are still pinned to the top of the forum page--computer and mobile.

1) I see nothing wrong with weekday weddings, but many times you have a smaller group in attendance due to work schedules.

2) BBQ and Italian

3) You don't need to invite your Co-workers.

@MoweryMe - The 'Welcome New Users' post is pinned at the top, and it has a link to the CGs, but the actual CGs aren't pinned.

Gotcha!

Still easy to find though. Baha!