9 groomsmen/5 bridesmaids (too much?)

Ok at first I thought I was experiencing deja vu but I found your original thread.

https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/wedding-party-problems/083f3b26d35e17ca.html

I see you are still struggling with what to do here. I think the 2 groomsman would be less hassle but if you decided to go with 9/5 I do not think they will take any attention from the bride and groom. Everyone is here to see you after all.

In my opinion, no matter how many people are in your wedding party, everyone's eyes will still be on the bride and groom. We were having a similar issue so we decided to go with one(maybe two) on each side. Not only does this feel like it will be less of a headache but we will be paying for everything (dress, tux, hair makeup, shoes, etc) so having only 2 people(maybe 4 people) to buy for definitely helps our budget.

I'm a big fan of smaller bridal parties, they're less headache for everyone involved and less expensive. My opinion would be to keep both sides under five, even if they're uneven. But I don't think you'd be 'wrong' to have 9 groomsmen, it's all just a matter of preference.

I don't see anything wrong with the 9/5. However, Sara brings up a good point. Don't let it start getting dramatic. I know your people.

9 groomsmen mean 9 boutonnieres, 9 guys & their dates at the rehearsal dinner & dates at reception (assuming the guys are a given), 9 gifts, plus whatever part of their attire you may decide to pay (ties, socks, shoes, pocket squares, tux/suit, vest, etc.).

Just invite the extra guys to your bachelor party.

You can definitely have only two groomsmen and still involve all nine in your wedding celebrations! Invite the additional seven to your bachelor party, include them in your morning-of routine, all that jazz. The only thing they wouldn't be doing is wearing a matchy suit and walking down the aisle.

It all comes down to personal preference. For me 9 seems like too many, and I also like symmetry, so I would want the number of bridesmaids and groomsmen to be the same. But like I said, that's just me. I'm also not a fan of attending weddings where there is a huge party. Everyone seems crunched and it seems chaotic as everyone is standing surrounding the bride and groom as they make their vows. If you are planning on having a head table, some venues limit the number of people they allow at the head table to only about 10 or 12.

Nancy T made some good points on the monetary aspect that having a larger wedding party will cost you. Having more guys is just going to cost you more (side note on the thank you gifts for the groomsmen - you should spend about 40-50% of what their attire costs on a gift, which can be about $70 or more per guy, not sure if that rule only applies to BMs or GMs as well, but that could cost you over $600 for gifts for your guys alone).

Just remember that asking someone to be a GM doesn't mean you are playing favorites. Back to the suggestions on the other post, there are still other roles that these guys could take on the day of the wedding such as being ushers, readers, or personal attendants, and you can still invite guys to attend the bachelor party or hang with you before the ceremony even if they aren't groomsmen.

You shouldn't worry about offending your guys by asking or not asking them. If they are going to get all butt hurt or end a friendship over not being a groomsmen, they weren't a true friend to begin with.

Everyone is different. My preference is for a very small bridal party. We are having 3 bridesmaids and 3 groomsmen and 2 ushers. There will be symmetry at the top of the aisle, but the two ushers are good friends of FH so they get to play a role. I like having only 3 people to worry about getting hair and makeup done at crunch time, especially because the salon only has two chairs and can style only two at a time. Had I planned on a greater number of BMs, we would have to leave the resort and go into town for hair, which would not be as convenient.

I think it depends on your budget.

It's too much. It's not just budget; it's the difference between walking barefoot on the beach and commandeering a cruise ship.