6 bridesmaids have dropped out or been kicked out and I'm running out of options.

Sorry to hear that, but maybe just scratch the bridesmaids and groomsmen. You don't need them as long as you have close family to help what you need for the big day that's all that matters. But that's on my thoughts.

I hate to say it, but if that many people are dropping out and citing you as the source, you might want to take a step back and ask if your expectations are actually reasonable (and not just ask your fiance and parents). A bridesmaid's only actual job should be wearing the dress you pick and standing up there with you cause they support you. Anything else is voluntary, though I can understand the frustration if they promised you something and didn't deliver. And I can definitely see why you'd be disappointed not to have them by your side.

That said, you mentioned that you want them to put aside their issues for just one day (reasonable), but it also sounds like you want help for more than one day (since you're mad someone didn't help set up/tear down your bridal shower and it caused enough strain for you guys to actually fight about it - which I don't understand). I would just try to remember that your wedding is not everyone else's lives. In fact, while they care about you, they probably aren't thinking about your wedding at all - they're thinking about everything else going on in their lives. Especially if you've been planning your wedding for the last two years.

Of course, I don't know the full story, and I don't know your asks of them so I can't say if they're reasonable or not. If you want to salvage the ones you have left and they're actual friends of yours, just sit down and have a conversation with them. Ask THEM if they think your requests are reasonable and if they say no, ask them why. Compromise. It's your wedding day, but the 2 years leading up to it are theirs.

Hope that this comes across as helpful and not an attack. I think communication is really the key thing here.

I agree with Corrin, here.

Your FH and your parents aren't objective, unfortunately, and after a certain amount of drama, you have to step back and think about why.

There's a reason we recommend not picking out a BP until about a year to go. Relationships change, financial circumstances change, and it's a big ask. Replacing people also signals a lot of not-great things about how you feel about those who left, and those "filling in".

The BP has one job: show up on the day, in the attire you required. End.

It is always wonderful if they throw you a shower, a bachelorette, and so on, but that isn't required, and them doing all the work is an even bigger ask. We helped take down our shower, not only because we had to take things home, but because our friends went to all the work to make it happen, and we wanted to thank them that way.

I *do* agree that they should all find a way to get along. Let's just say my SIL behaved not great (to the point that I am under the impression MIL, uh, said something), but every time someone tried to involve DH or myself in it, I drew a line. I did ask DH to tell his sister to *grow up*, but the rest of our BP was pretty much over 30, so her behavior was regarded as immature and worth mostly eyerolls and a reflection of *her*. (She may have some bridge-mending to do, let's just say that.)

Your relationship with your BP is often a reflection of how you handle relationships as a whole.

I think it's reasonable to expect your BP to throw you a bach and a shower. There are two schools of thought on this but I feel like if you're close enough to be selected as a BM, you should want to celebrate your friend.


However, the fact that so many people have quit on you suggests that you might be part of the problem. Can you go into more detail on your expectations, how you've handled some of these conversations?

I agree with the previous posters. It seems like your bridesmaids are being asked to go above and beyond for your day. Being a bridesmaid does not mean signing up to be free labor and available 24/7. I would as your former maids what caused the disagreements and try to salvage relationships from there.

With no offense intended here - you are the common denominator. It can’t possibly be that everyone else is the problem. I’d suggest some deep introspection about how you treat people.

View Quoted Comment U r on point!!!!

View Quoted Comment Everything in this is spot on and we said.

Like everyone else has said, you may need to look inward on this one. The fact that you’ve immediately replaced those that have dropped out is pretty clear you don’t actually respect any of these friendships. Take a step back and see where all of these girls are coming from.

I’m going to echo everyone and say that unfortunately, you are most likely the problem. The fact that you can so easily “replace” them makes me think you mainly enjoy having them as props for the wedding, and not the company of the people themselves. I may be reading into that, but that’s how it sounded to me. It also sounds like you do expect quite a lot from these people. Kicking someone out for unfriending you (did you ask her? FB is weird and does wonky things sometimes. Maybe it wasn’t on purpose) and muting a group chat (doesn’t mean she didn’t check it, but constant notifications can easily get extremely annoying) seems a little petty to me tbh, instead of asking your friend how you could help her feel better and work on what was wrong in your relationship with her. And like others have said, sometimes fiancé’s and parents aren’t objective. Ask the ladies that are no longer in the wedding what went wrong.

You need to do a little soul searching and I do not mean it meanly.

Um? Kicking someone out of your wedding because they unfriended you on facebook and muted the group chat...maybe she was just sick of talking about the wedding....it sounds like alot of issues, but you are the common denominator here...maybe step back and actually talk to your friends...they are friends and not pawns in this planning process.

Everyone else has already said what I was thinking about common denominators and introspection, so I won't repeat that.

So, what should you do now? The good news is that you don't actually need bridesmaids to get married. So you may feel like you are "running out of options" but the truth is, you don't need to and shouldn't keep replacing people just to fill roles. Your nearest and dearest aren't replaceable. So, while I get that it's sad you feel people have let you down, you are only hurting yourself if you keep designating new bridesmaids from the outer reaches of your circle. Let the idea of a big bridal party go, and just focus on your goal: marrying your future spouse. Good luck.

Without sounding condescending, what is making that many people drop out of your wedding party? Your bridal party is not your staff, they are family members and friends who you are close enough to ask to stand next to you on your wedding day, and help with events and other things here and there. They all have their own lives and nobody’s life revolves around your wedding but yours and your FH’s.