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Just Said Yes October 2019

6 Bridesmaids and flower girl and no groomsmen

Nikki, on September 15, 2019 at 3:19 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 25

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HELP ... Our wedding was supposed to be a small casual wedding has turned into a big stressful nightmare... When we got engaged I got excited and went overboard and invited 6 girls to be bridesmaids (including his 2 sisters) Our wedding will be in northern Ca and my fiancé is from Ohio so his guests have turned out to be only his parents, 2 sisters, and one sisters family and the remaining guests are about 30 of my friends and family most of whom he’s never met. As if I don’t already feel bad enough about most of the guests being people he doesn’t even know, none of his male friends or family are coming out so all will have on his side is his 5 year old son and I will have my daughter and six bridesmaids including his 2 sisters. We are wracking our brains trying to figure out how this arrangement will work when we are standing up at the ceremony and it’s become such a sore subject since he’s so upset I invited so many bridesmaids that he won’t even talk about it with me anymore and just says do whatever I want. All we can think of is to add my friend’s husband my uncle and his dad... but he says he didn’t want to just add “filler” people to be groomsmen. Please help with advice on how I can fix this situation! The only ideas I can think of are have his sisters on his side but that would still leave 5 girls on my side. Or the other idea is have to everyone walk up but then sit down in the front row but I feel bad because a lot of the bridesmaids are traveling long distances and they have all bough special dresses. Pleeeasse Helllllp!

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Latest activity by Colleen, on September 17, 2019 at 12:32 AM

Super April 2021
Izzykern · on September 15, 2019 at 3:24 PM
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I’m sorry you are in this situation :/ if it were me I would just tell the bridesmaids you will not be having a bridal party anymore and just eliminate the confusion and issue. Especially if the bridesmaids have not bought anything yet. I think it is most important for you and your FH to be happy and comfortable during the ceremony and it would be unfortunate if he was upset about it on your wedding day:/
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Just Said Yes October 2019
Nikki · on September 15, 2019 at 3:26 PM
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Thank you, the problem is that they have all already bought the dresses 😣 plus one is driving from another state and another driving 12 hours 😭
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Just Said Yes October 2019
Nikki · on September 15, 2019 at 3:27 PM
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What do you think about them all sitting in front row? Or does this defeat the whole purpose of bridesmaids?
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Super April 2021
Izzykern · on September 15, 2019 at 3:34 PM
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Oh shoot that’s too bad they already bought dresses... what is the return policy? Honestly I would feel bad if I had bridesmaids and my FH did not have groomsmen. My biggest advice would be to just forgo the bridal party :/ they could sit in the front row but I don’t think that would make your FH feel any better
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Savvy June 2020
Abbey · on September 15, 2019 at 3:37 PM
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Wow that is a tough situation, but I agree with Izzy about just not having any bridal party. Depending on the style of dresses, they could use the dresses they bought for other occasions.

I'm in a similar situation as you except reversed. My FH has a lot of friends that live near us and all of mine (except one) live in other states. We decided not to have a bridal party so it would be low stress and the focus would be on us anyway.
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Just Said Yes October 2022
Stephanie · on September 15, 2019 at 3:37 PM
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I would eliminate the bridal party completely! They will understand. You can still do the bachelorette party with them and fun things.
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Just Said Yes October 2019
Nikki · on September 15, 2019 at 3:38 PM
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Thank you for the advice!
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on September 15, 2019 at 4:17 PM
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As PPs have said, skipping the bridal party altogether is your best bet!
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Devoted October 2019
Bridget · on September 15, 2019 at 4:21 PM
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I think having his sisters stand next to him would be nice. Many bridal parties are uneven. Maybe he could ask his dad to be his best man and leave it at that.
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VIP September 2019
Mrs. Bubba · on September 15, 2019 at 4:32 PM
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He doesn’t have any local friends or co-workers?
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Rockstar July 2019
Veronica · on September 15, 2019 at 5:07 PM
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Does he live in California with you? If so doesn't he have any friends he in California that he could ask? Does he have friends back in Ohio he could talk to about being in the wedding? Is there a reason why you choose to have the wedding in California? I am guessing you live there, but Ohio would actually be a lot cheaper and it sounds like none of his guest are willing to travel.
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Just Said Yes November 2020
Kristen · on September 15, 2019 at 5:14 PM
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Almost the same situation but thankfully I haven’t asked anyone yet. We are thinking of having my daughter as bridesmaid & his son as a groomsman & then flower girls. I’m trying to sell the idea that it’s a bridal party of our individual families becoming one.
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Dedicated November 2019
Victoria · on September 15, 2019 at 5:21 PM
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I agree with the suggestion to have his sisters stand on his side. They’re his family and likely why they’re invited to stand come wedding day anyway. Since you have 6 girls, you can have 3 on each side for symmetry if one of your girls is a mutual friend. You can’t really go wrong either way.

I’m sorry that it’s hard for his friends and family to make it out. My friends had a similar situation when they got married in California since the groom and his family are from Pennsylvania. His parents threw an “East Coast” reception later that was low key and low budget at a fire house. Buffet, drinks, and a slideshow of the wedding photos for his extended family to be able to see the oodles of photos and videos from their big day. It was still special for them to thank his family for the well wishes and they may have even had their cake top there vs. the one year anniversary to make the event a little more special.
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Master December 2019
Courtney · on September 15, 2019 at 7:02 PM
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I agree- having his sisters stand with him would be sweet. Many parties are uneven nowadays. I wouldn't cancel having a bridal party this late into planning.
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VIP March 2020
Tina · on September 15, 2019 at 7:19 PM
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Unfortunately I can see his side, it looks like he has no friends or family that will stand up for him and with six people on your side that is even more obvious. Was he supportive of the wedding taking place in California when all his family are in Ohio? Maybe this also rubs it in that he won't even have many guests there from his side. I would not have a bridal party. If anything I would have your daughter and his son stand up with you and that's it.
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Beginner November 2019
Monica · on September 15, 2019 at 7:22 PM
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It’s your wedding you can have uneven sides just have the girls walk down by themselves. My fiancé didnt want any groomsmen out of choice and I have 4 bridesmaids. He finally agreed to have 1 best man so we’ll be uneven. If you want your bridesmaids keep them. It’s your wedding.
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Champion December 2017
earias · on September 15, 2019 at 9:06 PM
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I agree with the suggestion to have his sisters stand on his side. I had 3 of my dearest friends as my bridesmaids and he had his brother as his groomsman. We also had 3 flower girls and a ring bearer but they sat down once they reached the end of the aisle. Uneven wedding parties are very common now and look more natural because it reflects real life.
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Dedicated October 2019
Kelsey · on September 15, 2019 at 9:14 PM
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This is how it looked with seven girls and one groomsmen!
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Beginner October 2019
Yelitza · on September 15, 2019 at 9:23 PM
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Wow that’s a very difficult situation . I’d say drop the bridal party . Return the dresses or refund the girls for the dresses if you can or try to sell them to someone .
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Just Said Yes October 2019
Nikki · on September 16, 2019 at 9:01 PM
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Thanks so much everyone for the suggestions! One of the reasons we are having it in California is because my dad is 92 and not able to travel and also my mom passed away a couple years ago so we are having it there at their house in my mom’s garden 🥰 I talked to him about the idea of canceling the bridal party and he was really against it and said it wouldn’t be fair to my friends since I had already asked them and the wedding is in a few weeks. He decided to ask his sister’s husband, my uncle and his dad to stand up there with him. That way it is uneven but at least he has a few guys and his dad is going to walk his 2 sisters down the aisle. Thank you all again for the help and great advice!
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6 Bridesmaids and flower girl and no groomsmen

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