5,000 budget on wedding

Kierra-General rule of thumb is as a wedding guest you gift the cost of your plate. I would buy you a $5.00 coffee mug for your gift, if I got you anything at all. Your guests are supposed to be the people who mean the most to you in the world. If someone spent 4 times the amount of money on decorations rather than food and drinks I would cut ties with that person because you just showed me how much I mean to you. People will absolutely know that your money got funneled into your "vision" rather than appropriately taking care of your loved ones.

No one's wedding is perfect, but my guests won't be griping and bitching behind my back, nor going to find something else to eat or drink.

You're right snow queen,

regardless of all negativity provided I hope you guys have an amazing day and your wedding day everything you ever dreamed it would be.

Kierra, well the good thing is that it's not too late to treat your guests to a good time.

Make it a SMALL wedding

Sabrina, did you miss the part where she's making her family cook for her wedding? Yes, maybe they offered, but wouldn't you want your guests to relax and enjoy the day instead of having to work?

I've been to family catered weddings, and there's always at least one person who never sits down because they're cleaning and refilling food. Did they complain? No. But I sure as fuck noticed the "poor soul" who out of the kindness of their heart offered to cook, but had to work like an employee instead.

Kierra has some misplaced priorities if she'd rather spend 2k on decor than to treat her guests to a professionally cooked meal.

Oh nice burn Sabrina. For the record, people don't really give a shit what is served as food. As long as it is safe, professionally prepared and free to guests. A default recommendation is to provide BBQ for lower budget weddings. For the record, I offered a burger bar, which is simple fare and my wedding budget was on the higher end. It isn't what is offered but, how.

Be careful, the fall from your high horse is gonna hurt.

@OliviaP Absolutely! Although, many would agree that genuine sentiments of gratitude and congratulations hold even more value than "hard earned money" begrudgingly given, with a side of shade regarding the accommodations...

@Bethyonce, it certainly seemed that the PP who appeared to mock Kierra's word choice (beautiful pasta) "gave a shit"...

I've been to cake and punch receptions that were amazing and people had an amazing time.

I've been to horrid catered friendor weddings that were etiquette nightmares that everyone gossiped about, before, during and after the wedding. I'm sorry, but people aren't above a little gossip, no matter the affair.

I'm loving the double rings giving poor etiquette advice to other double rings...talk about the blind leading the blind...

Sabrina, I can guarantee that a couple who doesn't care to provide a safe professionally cooked meal could not give a fuck about "genuine sentiments of gratitude." It's more about "how many gift givers can I fit into this room."

I've been here on WW long enough to see that.

What I read is that people gave a shit that she was making her family cook.

@JessieJV You're right; I apologize for misleading Kierra (and any other inexperienced posters who may take my advice to heart)! I hadn't realized that it was bad manners to demonstrate appreciation for being included as a guest at someone's wedding. I read these forums pretty closely, but I acknowledge that I may have misinterpreted some of the information. Thank you for the correction!

Does that make me a bully?

I went to a wedding like that and this stuff actually happened! Many people traveled a long way for that wedding, gave gifts or money to this couple and still had to go out after the wedding for food.

@MMB Great point! I'm sure there are plenty of people who hold those ulterior motives when hosting weddings, baby showers, etc. It really is a shame. However, I'm not sure that you can guarantee that to be the case for every couple who opts to cut costs by allowing a relative or church member to prepare the meal....

Sabrina, when safety is a concern, cutting costs on food by allowing Aunt Sally cook, should not even be an option.

There is no other reason for serving potentially unsafe food to your guests, other than selfishness. Some people want their "vision" by having 200 guests, but they don't want to wait and save money to pay for food. Some people want tons of gifts without having to spend money. Trust me. We've seen it all here.

@HulaHoop I'm not sure I'd go so far as to classify you as a bully, but I would definitely say that to suggest that Kierra's wedding will be received poorly because she isn't providing a larger spread (or that you yourself have behaved in such a way as a guest at a party) is distasteful. The purpose of a wedding isn't to be fed or get sloppy drunk -- you're supposed to be there to celebrate people you care about, regardless of what that celebration looks like.

It wasn't just me, but thanks for the assumptions Sabrina.

Also, I had one drink that night, as did most everyone but the bride and groom.

And if i'm traveling a long distance, and giving a gift to the couple, the least they can do is feed everyone properly. I'm not the distasteful one for thinking they should.

No, Sabrina. It's distasteful to serve your honored guests homemade food when they spend money on a gift, travel, etc.

NONE of us are sooooooo special that people should feel honored just because they were invited. Come on.