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Allie
Master August 2019

5 days to go- Doubting first look

Allie, on August 26, 2019 at 10:04 AM Posted in Planning 0 20

I'm getting married on Saturday and I woke up this morning having serious doubts about doing the first look. We have the venue from 4-10 with a 6pm ceremony. I was only doing the first look for logistics- wanted to make sure we get all the pics we want of just the two of us. I would basically have to arrive at the venue at 4, rush into my dress by 415 and take the pictures. Doesn't feel very romantic to me. Plus the weather forecast has changed and it will likely be 90 degrees. I don't want to be hot and cranky trying to get pictures and ruining the element of surprise. I'm going to call FH on my lunch break and get his opinion but he'll just say to do whatever I want. What would you do??

20 Comments

Latest activity by ARIEL, on August 26, 2019 at 4:15 PM
  • Amber
    Master February 2020
    Amber ·
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    FH and I are both adamant about the first time he sees me on our wedding day be when I'm coming down the aisle. I do want to talk to my photographer about a "no-looking first look" where we hold hands from opposite sides of a door or something like that. If you're having doubts about the first look, I would wait. In my opinion, I think him first seeing you coming down the aisle is super romantic Smiley smile
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  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    So I guess the first thing I would do is reach out to your photographer and see what the timeline would look like without the first look. Can you actually get the photos you want if you don’t do it? For us, we chose the first look because I knew I wanted to enjoy some of our cocktail hour and because I knew we’d need more than an hour for photos and I didn’t want to keep guests waiting on us for dinner to start. If you can fit everything into cocktail hour and are fine with not attending your cocktail hour, skip the first look.
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  • Rachel
    Devoted October 2019
    Rachel ·
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    Yes, I agree definitely contact your photographer and see if it would be possible to do your pictures later and what that would mean you'd have to miss out on. I think if you're doing a first-look it should be because you both WANT to do it. If it's not something you really WANT to do, I'd say DO NOT do it. You don't want to look back and regret that you did that and that you truly wanted the first time you saw each other to be when you came walking down the aisle. Just remember your wedding is supposed to be what you and your FH want, so make sure that's what happens. Your guests aren't going to care if you're taking pictures after the ceremony, that's typically when they are. So just spend some quiet time in your head and figure out what you really want.... then make that decision and don't think about it again.

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  • A
    Master June 2020
    Anna ·
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    No first look for us.
    I'm doing it the traditional way...we will meet up at the altar.

    He will see me at the top of the aisle❤
    I don't respond well when rushing, so that's another good reason, for no first look for me.

    I honestly, never considered it.
    To each their own, what ever choice you make, it will turn out perfectly. Don't worry.
    Congratulations! Woo hoo
    Have a wonderful wedding week!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
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  • Allie
    Master August 2019
    Allie ·
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    I do like the idea of the first touch. I feel like having to plan and coordinate the first look will completely take the romance out of it. FH isn't going to have some grand reaction either way haha but I just don't want to feel rushed getting into my dress and definitely don't want to be sweating before the ceremony if I don't have to. I think FH would rather not do it, but I'll have to check with him.

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  • Allie
    Master August 2019
    Allie ·
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    Well I wanted some pictures by myself since I didn't get to do a bridal photoshoot. And I can still get some pictures with my family beforehand. I'll call my photographer after I talk to FH and see what he prefers. Our venue coordinator suggested letting everyone start eating before we do our grand entrance anyway. We are having a DW, so we will get to spend Friday night and Sunday brunch with all our guests anyway.

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  • Allie
    Master August 2019
    Allie ·
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    Thank you Rachel! I'm going to discuss with FH and make my final decision tonight.

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  • Allie
    Master August 2019
    Allie ·
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    Thank you! That's what I'm leaning toward. FH is very traditional so I think he would prefer that as well. Plus, it will give me more time to spend getting ready with my family beforehand.

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  • Samantha
    Super August 2019
    Samantha ·
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    We did the first look and don’t regret it at all. It really helped with nerves and it was so nice to have such a tender moment between my fiancé and I. I would recommend giving yourself a 30 min buffer for logistics. But we did it and it was pure magic and didn’t detract from walking down the isle at all.
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  • Virginia
    Super June 2021
    Virginia ·
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    How about doing a first touch instead? My FH and I both agree we do not want to do a first look.

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  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    It’s absolutely personal preference. We weren’t going to do it but then decided to do it so we could spend more time with our guests. We also wanted that time together with just the two is if when he saw me. Honestly when I walked down the aisle he still geared up again. It was so hit the day we did first look and we had outside photos but then we did some inside as well. It’s a touch choice for sure. Good luck
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  • D
    Savvy September 2019
    Davis ·
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    We are not doing the first look and waiting until I walk down the isle with pictures after. We do have two photographers and the genial will be taking pics of the girls prior and the male will be taking pics of the guys after to get some pics done prior. If you don’t want a first look, don’t do it.
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  • Kiara
    VIP August 2021
    Kiara ·
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    What is the real reason why your having doubts because of the weather or your just not interested in it anymore?

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  • Allie
    Master August 2019
    Allie ·
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    I'm just not interested in it anymore. I think the timeline is rushed and it won't be romantic. I just want that moment walking down the aisle. And the weather is a big deal to me. I don't do well in heat so making myself be in it for an hour extra isn't smart.

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  • Ingrid
    VIP October 2020
    Ingrid ·
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    We've (he) decided to do a first touch, and see each other the first time walking down the aisle.
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  • Kiara
    VIP August 2021
    Kiara ·
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    Then with that said I would stick with the traditional way due to the weather & for you not to feel rushed...

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  • Allison
    Dedicated October 2021
    Allison ·
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    Pros:
    If you're nervous a first look will likely ease the couple
    Intimate time together before you share intimacy on a more public level
    Likely you'll get more couples photos due to that moment needing to be captured in addition to your typical couples wedding pics
    If you do a first look, you likely will have time to attend your own cocktail hour and do some conversing

    Cons
    If your partner is set on being 100% surprised by you at the aisle, then it could ruin that for them
    It adds more time to the getting ready portion of the day (first looks are usually done right after then) and could potentially throw off your schedule, which is a HUGE deal
    Y'all may be the opposite and seeing each other could actually nerve you up


    While I think they're great, we personally won't be doing a first look bc my fiance is adamant about not seeing me at all before the ceremony. As a photographer I was mostly swayed by the idea simply for photo sake, but his wishes are more important to me. Especially since we will still get those lovely photos in the end.
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  • Eri
    Super October 2020
    Eri ·
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    Sounds like you have your decision! Smiley smile If you're going to be flustered and uneasy, I'd opt for the first touch or just going the traditional route.

    FH and I are planning on doing a first look, but we have a longer timeline to work with. I also really want pictures of us alone before the ceremony--that's a special must-have for me.

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  • Ivy ORP
    VIP October 2019
    Ivy ORP ·
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    Exactly what I was going to suggest. If that moment between the two of you is important to you, you can make it all work. If it isn't, then let him see you at the end of the aisle and take a full hour for pictures after. Just remember those pictures are what you will have when this is all over. Have you considered another location in the venue?

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  • ARIEL
    Devoted October 2020
    ARIEL ·
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    I'm having my ceremony at 6pm also and am totally against the first look. In place, the groom and his groomsmen will take photos 2 hours before the ceremony and then me and my bridesmaids 1 hour before. Then during cocktail hour we will take pics together. Just to cut some time so cocktail hour doesn't drag on.

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