4/20 Wedding

I would keep whatever rituals or symbolisms you and your husband want included in your wedding strictly acted out/practiced between you two and any other members of your wedding party that wants to be included can of course joint but if not it’s only right to allow them to step aside or not allow their children to take part. It’s something you’ll all have to sit down and talk about and plan together. You will ruffle some feathers and you will probably get some not so kind remarks but you can’t let that ruin your day if your vision for it. Just have a back up plan in place incase they do not wish to take part.

I agree with pp, and while I'm not familiar at all with the types of rituals/traditions would be involved, but if kids will be present, ensure that it is appropriate or keep it adults only. Of course, with kids, this is up to the parents if they want them to participate (or want to participate themselves) so make sure to present your theme via invites, wedding website, etc. in a way that make it obvious to guests that this is the type of ceremony the two of you want to have.

While I don't think this necessarily needs to be an *in your face* "this is what we want and no one can stop us" type of discussion, do prepare for some of those types of reactions from your more conservative family. Sit down and talk with them about your ideas and plans (note: this doesn't have to be a negotiation with them, but a courtesy all around. They will have opinions, so for the sake of being non-confrontational, at least hear them out if it won't make you crazy/they aren't being hurtful and then carry on as planned). Although they are strict in their lifestyle, you've also maintained a relationship with them for this long, and I'm guessing you don't go home for the holidays pretending to be their sweet little uber-Christian daughter, so this shouldn't come as a total shock to them and hopefully they can be accepting

A 4/20 wedding with children and very religious family could is almost asking for disaster in my mind... I would probably set up something for after with a select group who would be more interested in that. I've seen people have Weed Bars at their wedding (states where it is legal), that's something you could look into as an after party?

View Quoted Comment That’s what I was thinking!

I disagree with the first poster regarding all symbols and ritual that does not involve mandatory guest participation (in the same way I would not take communion at a Catholic wedding but I'd still attend). There is absolutely nothing offensive about pagan religion. Unless you plan to include something potentially unsafe, inaccessible, or inappropriate for children (large fires, standing for a lengthy ceremony, full nudity etc.) then you family really should be decent people and support you. Even though it's really sad that one even needs to avoid a disaster, the best tips are to let them know the details beforehand, answer any questions and as harsh as it sounds, un-invite anyone who cannot respect your faith. I know that's easier said than done, but honestly you deserve to have a wedding that reflects your union and who you and your spouse to be are.

4/20 as a theme may be more of a challenge and depends largely on how you plan to execute it - are we talking decorations, heavy or light use? I think themes should take into account who will be attending. It's a fine theme if the majority of the guests will enjoy it. But expect your family to leave earlier in the night if this is the case. Depending on the venue and how large a percentage of the guests want to engage it, maybe have either spaces for use and/or spaces free from it. Make sure your venue is aware of the plan as well, before you sign anything.

Wow, this is a tough one. I definitely believe that your wedding should reflect you as a couple. And if this is what you are really set on, then you should do it. That being said, I think it also depends on how important it is for you to have your more conservative friends and family attend your union. If it is important to you, you may need to alter your plan. Maybe have a non-denominational ceremony that includes a few of the pagan ceremony aspects that are most important to you. As far as the 4/20 theme, I think that may be much more difficult to pull off. It may be best to reserve that for the after party. Also keep in mind that many venues still prohibit the possession or use of marijuana on the premises, so you will really want to read the contract with the venue carefully, and discuss that with them if you decide to go ahead with that theme. The last thing you want is an angry vendor and/or police showing up at your wedding/reception! You could also consider making your event adults only, so you don’t have to worry about editing things for appropriateness for children.

View Quoted Comment We are talking decorations for the wedding and light use at the party after.
As for kids, it would be our kids mostly but not sure how to keep them and teenagers from wanting to be involved in the adult activities

Also most likely will be a back yard wedding due to a lot of places we've looked at not being open to a pagan wedding

My cousin had a Wiccan wedding. She invited those who would appreciate that kind of ceremony to the actual wedding and then the rest of the guests just to the reception.