30 Days out and worried!!! Help!!

I would firstly explain to your girls that you cannot help with dresses any longer. If they can't get their dresses by an agreed date then they're out of the wedding. You shouldn't have to add their carelessness to your stress.

Speak with your vendors and see if you can work out a payment plan. Can they wait a couple extra weeks? Can they take a partial payment?

I’m sorry about you FH’s job, that is definitely stressful! I think the PP gave great advice, and I hope your vendors can work with you a little. When I was talking to a photographers about my budget limitations several were really helpful and willing to work with me, so it definitely doesn’t hurt to tell them what’s going on and see what they’ll do for you. Good luck!

It all depends on the state you live in your FH might be eligible to apply for unemployment benefits even if they cut his hours(days). And where ever it necessary for you to make cuts in your wedding at this point. You do what you must.

I’m so sorry sweetie. We’re also 30 days out and things going wrong left and right. And paying for everything ourselves with many setbacks and being behind.
I can offer you hugs and just try to prioritize the most important things to pay and if there’s anything extra just forget it. Anything non essential. Hugs

One thing we did was order cheap rings for now so we can put that money toward the wedding. It’s just jewelry and we will upgrade later.

i cut back on gifts for wedding party, and several other things. Praying we don’t have anything else go wrong, we have had the hardest year outside of the wedding ever already. With the wedding on top of it...oh Man. Just remember the day is about you and your fh and your love. None of the rest matters. Scale way back. Have you paid your florist or entered a contract? If not scrap a florist and go non floral or fake centerpieces. Do simple things from dollar tree, or make your centerpieces out of favors. No one cares about either of those things.
Do you need just minor alterations? Can they be skipped?
Anything like that you can cut. Scale back alcohol and anything else you can. You got this!!!

View Quoted Comment I definitely agree with you, this sound so like me lol!!! I lost my matron of honor due to finances as well, it sucked but was the best decision for her and I. I told my wedding party have your dress by July 1st or step down. FH and I are paying for our wedding ourselves and can only do so much. But you have to communicate with your vendors to work out a payment plan if needed. Also your husband can start looking for new positions in the meantime and/or apply for unemployment benefits. But I wish you both well!!!

I'm so sorry, what a stressful thing to add on top of what is already a busy and emotional time! Was your FH laid off, or is he just at risk at the moment? Either way he should get on the job hunting right away.

Can any of your vendors add in a few payment installations so you have more, smaller payments that might give you some extra time to catch up financially? I think Tiffany's idea of getting more affordable bands now and upgrading later is brilliant. And can any of your vendors downgrade anything to cheaper options, like a bustle with 1 point instead of several, or smaller centerpieces with cheaper flowers?

As for your bridesmaids, what on earth are they waiting for?? They won't have any time for alterations, and what if they have to be ordered in the right sizes?!

It's ok! First breathe. You'll be ok and your day will be beautiful! I definitely went through this feeling, but it passes. Everything will get paid. It's normal to have balances due, and it's a lot to juggle at once. Make a to-do list, plan your course of action, and don't panic. We ended up taking a loan, which sucks, but we'll deal.

Your bridesmaids are big girls they can handle it themselves. Opt out of that stress, give yourself permission to not babysit or micromanage them. Don't snark at them, but just be clear what's what, give them the info they need and then let it go. My wedding is in 3 weeks and I think some of my bridesmaids don't have shoes, don't have dresses hemmed, whatever, who cares... lol. They know what needs to be done, and I'm sure they'll get it done within their own time frames and be ready when the day comes. They just have to show up ready, I don't care if they do it the day before!

Who knew wedding planning was THIS stressful?! But it will all be beautiful and perfect

I'm so sorry! I would tell your BMs that they need to have dresses by xx date if they do not they will attend the wedding as guests. You do not need that extra stress right now.

Can FH drive for Uber or Lyft a couple of days a week? My Future BIL drives for both and can make some serious, quick money in just a couple of days! FH is looking into doing it after the wedding just to recoup some of what we have spent on the wedding.

Also, like others have said, scale back on what you can and talk to your vendors. I know it will all work out for you!

Sorry you’re going through this.
If you don’t have contracts with some vendors, let them go! DOC & florist are not a must have. Exchange rings for cheaper ones & upgrade later. Cut down on alcohol if you’re having open bar. Don’t do any non-essential things (favors, BP gifts, gifts for each other etc). Talk to all vendors about payment plans. I’m not sure it’s an option for you, but many vendors will give a discount for cash payment. Can you ask your family to borrow some money & return monthly (interest free)? Can you cut down on living expenses for few months (no eating out or any non-essential shopping)?

About your BMs, that one is at least easy. Tell them they have to have dress for the wedding or they will need to step down. They are all adults, you do not need to be on top of them & worry about their dresses or stress about it. You have 7 of them, so even if 3 drop out, you still have 4, which is plenty. I wouldn’t even think about this.

Sorry ladies it's been busy so I didn't get a chance to respond but I appreciate all the advice. Thank you ladies you are the best!!

So sorry about this! My FH was in the same position, however immediately he started looking for work and to much of our surprise he found a job a couple days later. But, when I got the call that he had to look for other work I got soooo stressed out. Then I was like why am I going to get stressed out if I know we will be okay. What you shouldn't do is offer to help your bridesmaids. Most girls know what goes into saying yes to being a bridesmaid. They know they are going to have to come out of pocket for things. So, if they couldn't afford anything they should have kindly denied.

Worry about what YOU still need to pay off.

I wen through something similar. It was basically someone very close to us telling us what they were going to do without us asking right after the engagement. They told us they were gifting us our wedding cake. She said it's done. Thats my gift to you so don't worry about it. You just pick the bakery and flavors and I have the rest. Well now, it's I have things going on, but they never communicated there was a problem. So 50 days our for my wedding and we had to find a bakery that wasn't to expensive that could do what I wanted done. We did find one. The issue is we didn't budget for a cake because we were already told it was taken care of. So that set us back doing some extras we had planned because we now have to get the cake. So I understand. However, God is in control and he will make s way.

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I love this response, because I was also in this same boat. A few boats actually. I had to step in on a few things I didn't plan on putting money out for because of YEsssessss.

I feel you on every level of this! My fiance's job laid him off and i've been trying to cover everything and be supportive. I'm 30 days out too and called one of my vendors to say I would have to cut my budget in half. She laid in to me, told me how's she's been helpful working with me, and she has that's true. But basically made it sound like I was ungrateful. I understand she is a small business and that we had an agreement. But what can I do?!! If I don't have it , I just don't have it. It's embarrassing to have to come back and tell someone you just don't have it . And even more embarrassing to be reprimanded. I know my problems aren't hers. I was just hoping for some understanding. When I finally told her it was only because of him losing he's job that she backed off a little. But what's done is done. And I am not looking forward to working with her at all now. The whole planning thing is so LONELY. For all those Brides who have supportive not overbearing or absent family...... Count your blessings