3 days till my wedding and i want to call it Off....

Unfortunately with how the media portrays weddings, the guys usually back off and let the women plan stuff. I understand your frustration, but at the same time they don’t think about anything wedding until they’re actually engaged while women have sometimes thought about weddings over the years. I have also gotten frustrated with my FH over lack of wanting to participate but I brought it up with him so now I discuss vendors etc with him and we’re making progress.

I’m the opposite and appreciate that my FH has limited involvement (the venue selection, food/drinks, song selections, his guest list and his attire). He’s never planned a party/event or picked linen colors or selected floral centerpieces or any of the other girly stuff. So I don’t expect him to all of a sudden be into it. Plus it’s easier to plan this way. I do get his opinion on certain ideas. But every girly detail would be torture for him. Thankfully he trusts my skills and knows that our wedding is going to be great. I actually think if he had lots of involvement THAT would drive me nuts! Lol

Mine rarely helps but I found that he finds interest in things when he pays. Haha He was so excited to get home to see the wedding invites after he purchased them. Other than that, I don't think he knows the money or the little things that go into planning. Today, I found out we need chargers. He probably wouldn't a give a poo about that. Not to mention, he works 6 am to about 9pm every day. The idea of me having to wait until 9 pm to get an opinion of something so small isn't even worth my time. He thinks all the hoopla of wedding planning is silly anyway. Anyway. It is still my goal to give us both a wonderful wedding. Just talk to your fiance and communicate your frustrations. Many of times when someone has to be in control, people just assume they can handle it all. I wouldnt be so quick to judge him.

No your guy is not bad and there is a reason that you are marrying him. Quite frankly I am frustrated with my FH right now because he says one thing I plan for it then changes his mind and plan for it and ultimately I know what it is he doesn't want to spend any money on even just eloping but he's quick to drop thousands of dollars to do upgrades to a house even though that is not an interest of mine right now. At this point I'm ready to throw in the towel and say whatever let's go to the courthouse and sign something and I will sell my dress. I know that the end of the day it doesn't mean that he doesn't care and love for me but that is not his interest and he's not interested in helping or putting money towards it. Some men or women are just like that. I think women like you and I we have dreamt of this probably since we were girls and have this glorious day planned and it is frustrating when someone does not share that same passion. It is a few days before the wedding and I know it is easier said than done but those three days and the wedding will pass by and hopefully everything the day of will go well. But at the end of the day when you are super frustrated just stop and remember the main important thing of the day is that you are marrying the guy that you love. Even our true love we want to punch in the face sometimes. Lol. You've got this just stay strong!

View Quoted Comment It would drive you nuts. That is my SO...he has an opinion about everything and his tastes are very peculiar and does not fit my style for this type of event at all lol fun times!!!

I don't think you're alone in this at all. My FH is the same way... Hate to say it. We've probably had about 3 big blow outs in the past 6 months about planning because of the stress, money, etc. He hasn't planned a lick of this wedding, then complains when I make all of the decisions. And some times it drives me nuts, because he obviously doesn't care about small details like the flower choices. (What guy does...) I know we could have just eloped, and he wouldn't even have known the difference, but I really wanted a big wedding. So undeniably, most of this is for me. But with respect, I gave him certain things, like full control over the cake, etc. (Which is now Star Wars themed...lol)

I know it's enough to drive us ladies nuts, but you just have to get through this part, then it's on to married life. Just know this is the "fun" part, and the rest will be much more stress free and boring. It's always nice to vent on WW and hear that you aren't alone though.

The only things my FH has actually cared about are not having our reception in a stuffy hotel ballroom and covering the floor of the chapel we are getting married in with an aisle runner. The rest has been left up to me. I honestly don't mind. Like PP have said, guys have never really had to plan parties, especially with as many details as wedding planning involves!

View Quoted Comment Yikes! Well luckily there’s an end in sight in a few days.

Breathe! It’s STRESS. My hubby and I had a “maybe we shouldn’t get married!” fight two dats before our wedding. 🥺 I would express how stressed you are to your fiancé and ask his support and feel free to ball your eyes out.

These last few days can be the most stressful. Step back and ask yourself if it’s just the stress of the last few days before the big day that’s getting you or if there are foundational issues here.


I know thanks to media/upbringing/whatever I was the one who took a few days off work just before the wedding to run around town and pickup all the rentals and last minute things. It was driving me bonkers!! But it really helped to settle into a mindset of: if it’s not done by now it’s not getting (so stop adding last minute details) and no one will know if anything is missing/incorrect/whatever (so let go of being a perfectionist). We also whined to each other about the guest list, since it was tight and some of our nearest and dearest who promised the world to be there just refused to actually RSVP (because they didn’t want to own that they weren’t coming), so of course we wished we had been able to invite others instead of those. But alas.
Try to enjoy a bit of the last few days. As many brides say in their BAM recaps, you’ll miss the planning once it’s gone. 😊

I'm so sorry you're going through this. My FH has been helpful when it came to creating the guest list, choosing the music, a little with the food and did he offer to make our seating chart when we get our RSVP's back. The only reason he offered is because we're naming and numbering our tables at the reception after New York Ranger players (his favorite hockey team) and he loves that idea.

Going into planning I knew that he wouldn't be much help. Not because he's lazy, but because typically men don't care about the details that much. It was like pulling teeth to get him to come to the cake tasting with me, and I still haven't even bothered talking to him about the signs we're having or the decor in the reception hall b/c I know it doesn't matter to him. He keeps saying he wants me to have whatever I want for the wedding. I knew this going in so it hasn't bothered me. Most of my help came from my grandma, sister, my 2 FSIL's and my FMIL. However, when I have asked him to help me with something because I was overwhelmed, he has stepped in.

I am sorry you are feeling frustrated. Honestly I think MOST grooms do not care to plan a singular thing. I always tell my husband that our engagement year was one of the worst of our relationship constantly bickering about the wedding. When it was all over we still argued about the honeymoon lol, but everything is back to normal! I would just take some deep deep breaths. My husband was so clueless, and apparently never paid attention at any of the other weddings we went to, that he fed himself the cake from his fork after we cut the cake. You should've seen my face and everyone was laughing. I couldn't have internally facepalmed any harder lmao. We had to do it again and just for him being an idiot I wiped icing on his face. My dad or mom got it on video so now I think it's hilarious but still roll my eyes. Most men it's like pulling teeth. It's not that they don't want to get married, they just don't really care about the details I guess.

I wouldn't say he's a bad apple, but maybe there just wasn't clear communication from the get-go about how y'all wanted to handle things as far as wedding planning? Try and take even an hour or two to yourself that is NOT wedding related and focus on something else - go for a bike ride, watch a Holiday movie, call up your best girlfriend.

You're so close to the finish line of arguably the largest and most complex event that many of us will plan in our entire lives, and there's a lot to be proud of in that! Your FH is probably just getting nervous/excited for the big day, and may now likely be realized that he wishes he knew more about the details - there were several things that when I asked my husband about (ex: song to cut the cake to, walk in to, etc.) that several weeks in advance he didn't care about and the day of he got several ideas about. Stay strong girl! Soon enough you'll be dancing the night away with your HUSBAND!

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ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH Mine says he does not care and I come up with an idea and he is like why don't we do this or why are we spending this? I want to punch him sometimes. I am trying to be patient and remind myself that ultimately I want to be his wife.

The men usually do take a passive role. so i am sorry if it feels like you are unsupported but hang in there, i promise you it will be worth it even though it feels stressful to plan