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Devoted June 2015

3 Accepts with pleasure for a 2 person invite. Sticky situation.

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branmarie1591, on April 15, 2015 at 6:25 PM

So from the beginning, when making our guest list, we were on the fence about inviting my mom's good friend and her husband. Her friend has a son with disabilities who has a severe fixation with me. He is very sweet, but tends to follow me around if we are in the same place and is very touchy feely, which makes me kind of uncomfortable. He also has little impulse control and his mom enjoys when he is the center of attention. We specifically invited just my moms friend and her husband, hoping it wouldn't be an issue to not invite her son. Well we just received her RSVP. She just wrote her and her husbands names on the line, but wrote 3 accept with pleasure. My mom is so uncomfortable now with this whole situation. I'm not sure how to deal with it. If I say it was just an invite for 2, she may not bring her husband and bring her son because he really, really likes me. I don't want my mom's friendship to suffer, but I would like for those invited to be the ones to come.

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Master September 2014
Snarky · on April 15, 2015 at 7:12 PM
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Can your mom make the phone call since it's her friend? And just stick with "We don't think it's an appropriate event for ____ due to the drinking, etc"
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Devoted June 2015
branmarie1591 · on April 15, 2015 at 7:17 PM
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@celia- that may work! I really want to be the one to talk to her, but I don't think my mom is going to let me. I'd rather be the bad guy, but my mom thinks she should be the one to talk to her.
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Rachel DellaPorte · on April 15, 2015 at 7:53 PM
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You invited the mother and husband. Invitations are not transferable. You simply say that the invitation was extended to those listed on the envelope. They have the same option as everyone else -- accept for the two invited, accept for one that will attend, or both decline. It is up the invitees to figure out how they're going to deal with it, not you. You have an entire guest list to deal with, and your guest list obligations ended when you sent out the invitations.

If you're worried about hurting her feelings, you can feel bad, but move on. This is your wedding day. If the mother questions your motives, simply tell her that aside from family, you are inviting couples who will enjoy the evening together. Do not let her drag you (or your mother) into any discussion as to your reasons for not inviting her son. She is free to accept as invited, and if she can't, then tell her that you know she will be there in spirit. And for the record, she had no right to extend her two person invitation to include three people.
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