2nd Wedding no-no's?

I don't believe it is necessarily a "rule," but as this is my second wedding as well, I have strongly informed my sister and mother that there will absolutely NOT be a second bridal shower. I would feel like a disgusting human being to 1) have my family spend money to throw a second shower and 2) have family members spend money to buy a second shower gift. It makes me literally shudder.

The only alternative I would even consider would be for my FH's family to throw HIM a shower and invite but not require gifts from my family. Period. The end.

I wish I had help for you because I'm in the same boat. Luckily I haven't had any issues so far but I am worried about etiquette as well. I'll be watching this post.

I think the fact that it's your FHs first wedding matters here. I know traditionally second weddings were supposed to be much less but I think that's different now. I did see your previous post about your Mom and I think she's got completely unrealistic old school views.

I don’t know the official ettiquette, but i’ve had a few friends who had a bridal shower for their second wedding. In all honesty, I was a little surprised when they had these elaborate registries!

This is also my second wedding and my FH’s second wedding, and I believe my sister is planning a shower. We did register because there were some things we do need for the house. We combined 2 houses, but he bought his parents’ house, so some of the stuff we have was his parents and is now 40 years old. However, we were selective of what we registered for - just a few things that we would be replacing anyway and tried to make sure what we registered for was not expensive. And the guest list I sent my sister is much smaller than my first one - I would say less than half. And if she decides not to throw us a shower, we are fine with that too!

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Yeah... the shower is something I am on the fence about... like I said, the guest list is totally different. the ONLY people that are involved this time that were around the first go are my mom and sister. My first wedding was over a decade ago, and the social circle has changed and we aren't having a big family involvement - most of my family that was around the first time has passed on... and I would never ask/expect my mom to host as she's made it pretty clear she's agains the whole wedding... I didn't even think of it to be honest until my MOH made a comment about her mom (also a friend) wanting to help plan it...

We really don't need anything either... we bought a house this past year and have lived together nearly 4 years... spring chickens we are not...

Following. Almost same boat for me too. My second; his first. Mine was over a decade ago, though everyone in my family understands that the ending of my first marriage wasn't my fault (he left me for a coworker), I feel very undeserving of another wedding. Though, my FH has a huge close-knit family and this is a big deal to them, I have to deal with my mom telling me over and over that I "shouldn't expect family to come this time" or "I'm going to call a few people and make sure they don't bring gifts." It's a bit hurtful, but I understand.

This is both FH and I’s second weddings. I didn’t have a bridal shower the first time, but I’m not having one this time either. I’m completely ok with that though since we have everything we need for our house.

I don't know if this would actually work, but what if you changed the tone of the shower? Like, instead of a bridal shower, your MOH planned a bridal brunch, where people could just mingle, give you their marriage advice, tell funny stories about you and your relationship with your FH that they won't have time to tell at the wedding. You still get to spend time with these people, but they aren't "showering" you with gifts.

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I really like this idea!!! Thanks!

If you dont want to register and are worried about a shower bring against etiquette then ask your MOH if she would be comfortable calling it a bridal brunch or lunch. No gifts required just good times celebrating your upcoming wedding.

I’m actually about to have my third wedding. FH wanted a grand affair, which we are paying for. I’ve refused bridal showers but I have a few girlfriends insisting on a lingerie shower that I’m still undecided on. We will not register anywhere.

AFAIK there's nothing specific. This will be my second wedding and his first. Nobody has offered a shower so we're not doing that, but we registered and such as usual.

This was a 2nd wedding for both of us. We may have been married before, but it's our first wedding to each other. We had a couples shower and my girls treated me to a spa day for my bachelorette party. No one gave it a 2nd thought and were so happy to celebrate our happiness.

What about this being my first wedding and his 2nd wedding (he had small wedding first time around).

No shower in my opinion. Or Bach party. Maybe your friend can host a bridal brunch or tea without gifts?

I'm in the same situation. It's my second but my fiance's first wedding. He wants the whole big wedding experience thing and his family is REALLY involved in seeing it happen. I had originally planned on skipping a shower because it'll be pretty much all the same people as my last one (8 years ago). But my grandmother loves when I involve her and bring things for her to see. She's mostly bound to her nursing home and likely won't be able to attend the wedding. I would really like something she could attend.

As for registering, we weren't going to but decided to make a small one for the people that prefer to give physical gifts. We decided to upgrade items and expand our serving pieces as we're buying a house and will be able to host family dinners (needed 13-16 settings). My mom is thrilled for us to get a place so she doesn't have to host every month. The registry ended up larger than we expected but we'll use the discount after to get anything that wasn't purchased already.

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Yeah... I will have to talk to MOH about shower vs brunch etc... to be clear I DIDN'T ASK for anything... but my MOH made it clear she wanted to plan something...we weren't friends 11 years ago when I married my first husband, but have become very close over the last 8 years... to reiterate, no one present at the first will be at the 2nd... it's an entirely different group... my divorce thrust upon me a new social circle (which I am actually grateful for) and there's no extended family either.

I have also been told I MUST register, shower or not, because people will gift at the wedding and not registering makes it seem like you're $$$ hungry / asking for cash only... which IS faux pas... While we don't NEED anything, there are certainly things we could upgrade...

I was in the same boat - my second wedding, his first. It may be a bit different as we are both 52, own a home, own a cabin, no need for stuff. Now if some friends wanted to host a bridal lunch - great! But I would have been uncomfortable with a full on bridal shower, too. My new hubby did not have a bachelor party, he went out the night before with our officiant (his best friend) and best man (cousin) and bought them a great steak meal and some good scotch!!!

Best wishes!!

This will be my second wedding and FH’s first. He is very much not into big weddings, so it makes it easy to have a simple affair. I don’t know if there is etiquette, but I would feel uncomfortable doing a lot of the things I already did. So, we aren’t having a wedding party, no bach parties, no showers, and we are telling our guests that we do not need gifts.

I’ll share what everyone has told me, that it’s your wedding and you should do exactly what you want to do.