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Dedicated November 2019

2nd Wedding for a 2nd marriage - Yes or No

sarah, on April 11, 2018 at 10:38 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 31
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On another forum there was a post by a woman intensely offended that she got an invite to a cousins 2nd wedding. As in 2nd marriage, not a vow renewal, but got divorced and is getting remarried.

and that the cousin had the audacity to choose a location 3 hrs away from poster that would require people to get a hotel.

Is this a real issue??

Am I making a huge mistake having a full 2nd wedding, poofy dress and all and havubg it local to me but a great distance from many of my guests??

Is this a real issue or just this lady??

31 Comments

  • Mrsbdg
    Champion August 2017
    Mrsbdg ·
    • Flag

    Just her probably.

    If it's far from your guests just make sure to send STDs and invites well in advance.

    • Reply
  • R
    Dedicated May 2019
    Ruthann ·
    • Flag
    You should go for it! Why should people begrudge you? They should celebrate second chances and new beginnings.
    • Reply
  • mjfortwedding
    Expert April 2018
    mjfortwedding ·
    • Flag
    I don’t think that’s a thing. If it was the second wedding in one year maybe but just a second wedding in general isn’t a problem sometimes the first marriage doesn’t work out but they find someone who is right for them and they want to have a special day together. I don’t think it’s a problem!
    • Reply
  • Maria
    Master June 2018
    Maria ·
    • Flag

    That poster sounds bitter. Not going to lie, second weddings are a "thing." As in a topic people in certain circles debate. I'm team CELEBRATE. People who love you want to share your joy. On the other hand, some of my cousins have told me that the reason they've chosen smaller weddings is because it's their second time. But I wonder how much that has to do with cutting costs? I'm spending so much on my wedding. God forbid I'm ever in a place where I'm doing this again, I could see myself wanting to keep it small due to $. And also not inviting nosy relatives into my business. I hope my comment doesn't dissuade you regarding a second wedding. I just wanted to illustrate that certain people do think that. I personally think it's an outdated and offensive way to think and that nobody needs to tone down their joy or desire to celebrate because of a second wedding. It's your first wedding with this person! And a second wedding to me implies a difficult journey through death or divorce that led to new love that deserves to be celebrated.

    ETA spelling

    • Reply
  • F
    Devoted May 2019
    Feneesa ·
    • Flag
    This is my second wedding and I’m doing it big and actual real wedding. My first one was tiny, I did most of it through Costco/orients trading. Less than like $3000. But that was 12 years ago and I was 20. Now I’m in a position to have it my way and not only that, this is my fiancé’s first real wedding. He’s been married a few times but they we’re court house weddings. If someone feels that way they sure as hell don’t need to come to my wedding.
    • Reply
  • Heather
    VIP January 2019
    Heather ·
    • Flag
    I think anyone who has a problem with second weddings needs to examine their priorities. Celebrate your love. Do not let an old biddy dissuade you from that.
    • Reply
  • J
    Dedicated March 2018
    Julie ·
    • Flag
    I just got married for the second time last month. I had a very real wedding. White dress, DJ, photo booth, the whole thing. It was both of our second wedding and while I originally thought I wanted a small, courthouse wedding, I'm so glad we did the real big deal. We were surrounded by 100 of our best friends and family who were there to celebrate the love and happiness we found. And it made me realize how special it was to have friends travel from other states to come be there with us. It's their choice to attend. Don't second guess what you're planning for your wedding based on a comment your read from someone you don't know. Good luck!
    • Reply
  • Amandaw
    VIP April 2018
    Amandaw ·
    • Flag
    I am having a wedding for my second marriage and not one person has batted an eye about it. So dont stress she was just bitter
    • Reply
  • Red Queen
    VIP May 2018
    Red Queen ·
    • Flag

    My first marriage, we got married in Vegas, had 16 guests and a restaurant reception. Then we came home and had an at home reception, still in a restaurant. It wasn't much of a wedding.

    This time around, it's my second but my fiance's first. I was OK going to the courthouse, but it was very important to him to have a wedding to celebrate with family and friends, so that's what we are doing. I don't feel bad about it.

    • Reply
  • Kiwibride
    Super November 2018
    Kiwibride ·
    • Flag
    You have no less reason to celebrate your wedding than anyone else. Invite the people you want there regardless of the distance and have a great time
    • Reply
  • M
    Super October 2018
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    People should do what makes them happy and not let bitter people stop them. If someone is getting married for the fourth time and wants to have a wedding, why not? If people don't like it, they don't have to attend. Plus, what if it's only a second marriage for one person? Should the other person not be allowed to have the wedding of their dreams.
    Plus, it is dismissive of the person's new happiness and any potential context of previous unhappiness. My close friend got married in 2016. The guy was controlling and pressured her from taking her plan of waiting a year to save for a dream wedding and turned it into getting married a month later in an ugly courthouse with some guests and no reception. He wanted her to return her $200 dress to get the money back. She has finally left him. Does she not deserve to have her dream wedding when she find a better man?
    • Reply
  • C
    Devoted November 2023
    Crystal ·
    • Flag
    I was married to my ex over 14 years ago, together 17 years. This will my 3rd marriage but my fiancés first. Anyone who has an issue can stay home.
    • Reply
  • S
    Dedicated November 2019
    sarah ·
    • Flag
    This is both if our 2nd weddings and one of the reasons we've pushed it back to 11/2019 is so we can have the wedding we both really want, since we are paying for it.
    my first wedding was fast and thrown together, his was big but he wasnt into it. this time we are doing it right.
    • Reply
  • Mrs. P
    Devoted May 2018
    Mrs. P ·
    • Flag
    Oh my gosh! I hope that wasn’t one of my cousins. Lol. This is my 2nd marriage and I currently live about 3 hours from my hometown. I’m doing it big.
    • Reply
  • Orchids
    Master March 2018
    Orchids ·
    • Flag

    Just her. I just got married for the second time and had a wonderful time with my nearest and dearest. Most people had to travel and get a hotel, and you know what? They came, they partied, we wined and dined them, and all was well. Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • M
    Dedicated September 2020
    Mari ·
    • Flag
    First, second, third, etc ... who would have time to care, the ones who do have too much time on their hands... if you want to do it and makes you happy go ahead... life is once and it’s to enjoy.
    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Master June 2016
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    Just her. I had a bigger 2nd wedding than first (110 the first time, 130 the second) and no one batted an eye. If they had, they gladly could have stayed home. I wouldn’t have missed anyone who judged my decision to have all our friends and family witness us getting married.
    • Reply
  • ArizonaDreaming
    Dedicated April 2020
    ArizonaDreaming ·
    • Flag

    This will be a second marriage for both of us. FH had a "real" wedding last time. I eloped to Vegas. We both do not understand spending thousands of dollars, so we are keeping it small and intimate. Who cares? My best friend is getting married again for the second time. Her first was a courthouse wedding. This time, she is having a "real" wedding. (Hate the term "real wedding", but oh well!) I am her maid of honor and I am happier for her this time around. (Last one was an serious dickbag.)

    • Reply
  • L
    Expert May 2018
    LIZ ·
    • Flag
    Everyone has there opinion, take the ladies for what it's worth. Perhaps she is the type who likes to speak negatively, IDK, but it's her problem. Go for your day and celebrate!
    • Reply
  • HufflePuffin
    Devoted June 2018
    HufflePuffin ·
    • Flag

    The only time I think a 2nd BIG wedding would be inappropriate is if the same two people were getting married a 2nd time. As in the couple got divorced, changed their mind, and then got remarried. You may think this doesn't happen, but I have a cousin who did this exact thing. SMH.

    If you're marrying someone new, then why shouldn't you have exactly the wedding the two of you want? You're celebrating the beginning of your new life together. It has nothing to do with your previous marriage(s). Anyone who says differently can suck an egg.

    • Reply

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