2nd marriage bridal shower and girls night. What do you think?

Not sure what the etiquette is, but I wouldn't mind going to a shower for a second time bride. It is about celebrating a new life with a new person.

This is my second marriage and I had a shower and a bachelorette. I don't see anything wrong with it. My family and friends are the ones who suggested them. They wanted to celebrate with me.

I don't see a problem with it. Your first wedding was in 1988! I'm sure you could use some upgrades on household things. My FH's "aunt" got married last summer for the second time after her first husband passed away many years ago and she was thrown a shower and I didn't take offense to it.

I don't see anything wrong with it. If someone offers to throw you a shower, go for it.

Second marriage for me as well. I didn't have a shower or bach the first time around but FH's aunts are throwing me a shower. At first I felt weird but the more I get used to it, the more comfortable I feel.

This is my second go round and I am having neither. It has been nearly 17 years since my first marriage. I just don't feel comfortable registering or asking people for anything. That is just me.

I would do a girl's night out but not a shower. I personally would never register or be ok with a gift-giving party for a second marriage (for myself).

So I was super pissed after being invited to the 3rd bridal shower for my cousin in 8 years - yup married and divorced 3 times in under 10 years.......

I went off about it not being okay for a second wedding.

I would be fine with a girls night Bachelorette type party but personally i wouldnt register. Some people might get you a few things - but theorically these same people already got you on your way once....

Ps i didnt buy a gift the third time around that marriage lasted 13 months start to final papers filed.

I can''t say if I'd have one for myself, but I wouldn't bat an eye if a friend had one for herself. It's a different marriage. The couple may need different things now. If it makes you uncomfortable, decline, but I wouldn't worry about what your guests wil think.

I had a shower and a bachelorette and it was my second marriage. I don't think there are any "rules" against it.

Eta: register for a few upgrades, little things, if you're not wanting much. Everyone can use an upgrade. If people want to buy you stuff, let them.

Skip the shower but do girls night out. I feel showers are to help those just getting started.

This is my second marriage (first one 1972, widowed 2010) and I'm not having a shower or a big bachelorette party--the MOH and BM who live locally, 2 of my cousins and about 4 close friends are getting together at my house (mine is bigger than my sister's and she suggested it) for wine and appetizers and snacks. However, that is my personal choice. If I were invited to a shower for a second time bride whose first marriage lasted a long time, I would buy her a gift and go!

Also, just because it's a second marriage doesn't mean someone had a shower or a big wedding the first time. I didn't.

@Mother of the bride... Most couples nowadays aren't "just starting out" when they marry. My DH and I both had separately established households, does that mean we didn't "deserve" a shower?

If someone wants to throw you one, let them.

I share Emily's sentiments. For better or worse, in my life, I just accept the fact that, for me, some ships have sailed and aren't coming back. I'm fine with that. For women who were married in the 70's and 80's and realized the dissolution of their marriages after 25 years or more -- this is really a personal choice.

I was married in 1982, and from this day forward, whether I am widowed or divorced, I would not sanction a bridal shower on my behalf. I would, however, love the idea of a girl's night/weekend. That would be fantastic.

ETA: Referring to Erin's post, I doubt that I would attend the latest shower for a woman who was being married for the third time in eight years.

I should say i would be less offended by a womens whose first marriage was that long ago.

Yeah I was being snarky to my mom about it and told her that the gifts i gave her for marriage 1 and 2 were still basically new.

I see nothing wrong with it. This is my second marriage...I don't want a shower or girls night...but I would have one if my friends requested we do it. I felt awkward with it in my first marriage. It's just not me.

I would just call it a girls night out (or in). People can still bring you presents.

ElenaorRigby - no one HAS to let others throw them a shower. There is no way I would have a shower for a second wedding, even if someone offered to throw it. I would politely decline. Sorry, I just would never feel comfortable having a repeat party that "showers" me with gifts, when it's likely the same people who were there the first time around would be attending. It feels too gift grabby.

I feel that you should treat, and be treated, like a bride no matter how many times your married. This is a new relationship with this person and a new chapter in your life so enjoy it like a bride. Have the shower, do all the things you want to, make you and your FH happy because even if it's and second marriage it's the first time you two are married.

I say have the shower if your friends want to throw it. If you really don't want to register, then just have a girl's night. This is my second marraige as well, but I didn't have a shower or bachelorette with the first. I'm not registering, because there's not anything I really need, and I personally don't care if people bring me gifts.

Shakespeare- would you feel the same way if you were me in the case of my cousin?

She was married in 2004 - I bought her a gift even as a college freshman. Attended her wedding with a check

2007 - divorce

2008 engaged 2009 married - another shower gift bridal gift attendance at a wedding.

Divorced 2010

2012. Third wedding - shower. I didn't attend any part of it - it was destination so it was easy to pass. The shower was on my birthday so i just said i couldn't.

They were divorced a year later and husband #3 is in jail. Now she keeps telling me she should have stayed married to husband #1........ i won't go to another wedding for her before 2024 - I have a lot of cousins and i love then and support going to their weddings - but i just cant with this.