2021 Brides - No Motivation to Plan :(

I completely understand. I actually got engaged in December 2018 and we booked our venue pretty quickly for March 2021. But after that, a lot of vendors told us they typically book about 1 year out, so I was excited for March 2020 to roll around and dive into planning! Buuuuut here we are. My dressing shopping appointments were cancelled and I'm definitely nervous about a second wave and the potential that vendors go out of business or we have to postpone. I've still gone ahead with planning some things (just booked a florist), but I check all the contracts to make sure they will move to a new date for no charge if needed. I'm really just trying to be grateful that we did not plan our wedding for this year, and I really feel for couples who had to scramble at the very last minute.

I think that makes a ton of sense, actually. it sounds pretty wise of you to want to wait a little bit to see how things pan out before you commit to anything further.

I completely understand not having the desire to plan with everything that's happening in the world just now, but stay positive. Regardless, of what may be happening planning your wedding should be an exciting time. I'm a June 2021 bride. You can still look online and find flowers you like, styles of dress, decorations, etc. With that said, holding off on a deposit is probably best for now, but when the time is right you'll be ready to go. Your planning will be complete and all that will be left is checking things out in person and putting down the deposit. Even though the chances are high that a second wave will hit, keep gathering ideas and planning. Regardless, of when the wedding will come and hey... you'll already be 10 steps ahead. Chin up 😊

Hi Laura, I feel your pain, I feel it in two ways. In one hand my wedding is in 2 months. It’s painful to have gone through just 3 months of worry. It’s been over a year now of planning. On the other hand rescheduling which so many are telling me the easy answer, is not because it’s then what you said, a prolonged worry or having to hold off or check out to get through it. I can’t imagine worry for a year about my wedding and then what happens in the end? It’s unknown, where things will be. Nothing is an easy answer, not keeping your date and not changing your date. There is no good answer, people need to realize it. I’m in a constant mind boggle to put it gently. I hope the best for your day, truly do! And for mine only time will tell. Sometimes I get solace in having multiple plans: plan b, plan c. It was hard to start planning at first again and new alternatives, but it’s the only control I have over the situation.

I definitely feel your pain. We’re *supposed* to get married in October 2020. I sent the save the dates out in March and it was such a strange feeling dropping them off at the post office. The unknown and lack of motivation is real. I took a break for about a month, and recently booked our DJ, have been in contact with florists, and I’m picking up my dress next week. A lot was done pre quarantine, but I’m just so bleh about the rest of the stuff. And now my fiancé and I are thinking of a “plan b” just in case. We’ll get through it!

Ur fine if your 2021...

View Quoted Comment Not really. There's a LOT that you can't do right now. I for one had been planning to look at venues over spring break--I am a teacher and can't just take off--but nooope. Corona had other plans. So now I can't even venue search and the venues I'm looking at are booked through the dates I wanted (April or May of 2021). Without a venue, I can't really look for other vendors. So here I sit, twiddling my thumbs! My only saving grace is that I didn't put any money down.


Meanwhile, I'm MOH in a September 2020 wedding and BM in a November 2020 wedding I'll have to book travel plans for. Haven't done it yet though cause corona likely will rear her ugly head again. Just. Ugh.

OP, trust me, I feel your pain. I had so much momentum rolling, and then totally had to drop everything because no way am I committing to a venue without checking it out first. Best advice I can give is to get a head start with the fun stuff. If you're doing DIY stuff, turn it into a quarantine craft project and see if that reignites the spark. After all, a good DIY in a few places can keep you busy and save money!

View Quoted Comment You have time to book. I’m getting married in November and our venue helped us find vendors and it was quick process. I think it’s nice you have a little bit of time to see what everything is going to look like.

View Quoted Comment I’m also a teacher! You’ll make it work. We toured some venues on the weekends or after school. Places are opening up

View Quoted Comment Sure I have time to book, but a lot has been booked in my area for the dates I want. I don't want a summer wedding, and fall is hard because I teach on an hourly rate and will likely have my hours cut by a bit if I have to take time off for a honeymoon. I have been with this man for 8 years. I want to marry my best friend already. It's completely normal to feel a little powerless in this circumstance. You're coming at it from a completely different angle and I appreciate your positivity, but I'm not feeling that positive about this, I'm sorry.

View Quoted Comment Most of my choices are owned by the county so their tour hours are weird and my days are long. 😔 Maybe if I'm lucky my Friday schedule will open soon. Still don't know if I'll be able to swing my timeline. But thanks for the vote of confidence!

You're definitely not alone in these feelings right now Laura!! The lack of certainty about the future is causing anxiety for everyone - especially when also trying to plan your wedding! 2021 wedding dates are booking up really quickly as more celebrations get postponed, but you also need to do what you feel most comfortable with right now. And if that's taking a few more weeks before signing additional contracts that's fine!

Also here are two other discussions you should join where I've seen with other 2021 brides sharing similar sentiments:

Any nervous 2021 brides?

2021 Brides - Are you still planning?

I am feb. 12, 2021 bride and I am so happy to see your post. I have had so much anxiety over all this for all the reasons you said so it felt nice to see that I wasn’t the only one. After we got engaged (July 2019) we booked our venue very early and like you I was so happy to be so ahead of the game and also thought wow feb is the perfect month for us since it’s not peak and not super hot for us (so cal)


But now I am like you and have no motivation to plan. I want to be hopeful in that this whole virus will pass but I also believe that flu and sick season will come around in full force right around the time of our wedding. Not to mention if social distancing will be in place or guest maximums and what not. My dress appointment was canceled and shops are still not open. I don’t know if certain vendors or even my venue will still be in business and until today I didn’t even think about all the 2020 weddings being postponed to around my date so now I really should start looking at other things to plan. And people keep telling me “thank goodness your wedding is feb 2021” and I don’t say anything because so many thoughts go through my head.
I do feel fairly lucky in that we have our venue, photographer, DJ, and day of coordinator booked all with signed contracts and only deposits paid so if anything all we lose is our deposits. But I guess other than that I’m just not motivated to plan for other stuff that I would spend money on where I wouldn’t get my money back. Another lucky thing is that I already did my bridesmaids proposals and we had our engagement shoot already and we literally ordered photos and our save the dates the weekend everything shut down. And my bridal party and family already threw us an engagement party that was pretty much like a bridal shower. So I honestly don’t even need any more parties because I want to be mindful of their financial situations too as some of them were laid off.
Anyways, I’m sorry I made my post very long but you definitely tugged at my heart strings. I had been avoiding this very app because I felt that my 2021 wedding does not compare to what cancelled or postponed 2020 brides have been going through.

Girl same. We got engaged July 2019 but we are ahead of the curve. Our wedding is all inclusive and we've already paid for half. My flowers are paid off, we booked the photographer. I bought my dress and my shoes, jewerly, veil. I bought save the dates, favors, I emailed the venue even though we"re only in 2020. They said not to panic and that they didn't forsee cancelling but are working with brides on a need to basis. I have a couple of friends who are all nurses and they all said somewhat the same thing. That they anticipate a vaccine being introduced beginning of next year but won't be out till next winter. I'm hoping that there is a plan in place regarding weddings at least being able to hold 1/2 capacity of my guest. We'll see

You are definitely not alone! June 2021 bride here. I've had moments of anxiety where I've said, "I cannot be the only 2021 summer bride feeling this way." I've been having anxiety since around April. When this all started in March, I figured we may see a crazy time for about a month, but it has prolonged into the summer. We have booked our venue, which covers a lot of the details like food, bar and cake, and we have DJ, photo/video, and ceremony music. They were all somewhat small deposits so I was okay with that. It's so, so sad for 2020 brides who suddenly had to postpone or those who have weddings this year and it's just a waiting game. What I think I struggle with mostly is the fact that while planning this, it's always in the back of mind that we may have to postpone. That reality is there. And the thought of spending a ton of money just to have a party canceled is so hard. I have been struggling with it, and it comes in phases. I will go a couple weeks being fine and accepting whatever comes, then 1-2 days just upset and not wanting to do anything. It's made celebrating or doing anything normally during what should be an exciting engagement just frustrating and hard. I'm not sure when/if I will be able to go dress shopping normally, have a traditional bachelorette, etc. The feelings are definitely real. Currently, I'm just doing my due diligence and asking vendors about deposits right now (some of our vendors have offered half deposits) and asking about COVID-19 policies and if they allow postponements. Just trying to do my best to stay sane and not dive into the planning headfirst, just trying to take it month by month at this point.

I conpletely understand!!! I was a June 2020 bride and I'm now a June 2021 bride🙁 It's very hard to plan for something big like a wedding when we don't know what next year will really be like. I'm in the process of booking a new venue and had to make sure that if something happens next year like this, we'll get the non-refundable deposit back or be able to reschedule. Even though I still have the anxiety in the back of my mind about what COULD be, I'm finally excited about planning again since we'll have a nicer venue and another year to add to our originally small budget. Depending on next years circumstances, my wedding may not end up the way I first envisioned it as far as the guests who may come, but I've accepted it because my future husband and I will still be there celebrating the best day of our lives! Stay positive & keep planning girl!!

We are in the exact same boat--same date and everything! We booked our venue pre-covid but haven't booked any other vendors. We're debating whether to just cancel the venue while we can or whether we should go forward.