2 weddings. Indian-western. Change to a white dress during Indian reception? PC?

I'm not Indian so I'm not sure but did you ask why he opposed?

I thought that white in the Indian culture was a sign of mourning and used for funerals so it might be a little weird... But it might just be important not to for the ceremony. Maybe a different color second dress?

I would ask him why though.

I think there needs to be some compromise. It is true that white is usually worn during mourning, but more and more Indian women are wearing white during their wedding and so it is becoming more acceptable. If you are not Indian, I'm sure you and your family want to celebrate and enjoy western traditions (such as the white gown). If possible, explain why it is important for you to be able celebrate both cultures at your wedding. If he can agree, he can also let his family know beforehand so that his family will not be shocked during the reception.

It seems like a double standard for him to be able to change into a tux, but for you to not be able to change into your gown

You wouldn't change back to the wedding gown. White clothing is a sign of mourning for in the Indian culture. They wear colors, red being very popular. Do you know any Indian women who can assist you? There is nice Indian attire that you can change into after the traditional ceremony, that will be lightweight and comfortable.

I'm Indian, but my POV is that if you're NOT Indian, then it's fine to change back into your Western ceremony gown, but it will be viewed as a little weird by your Indian guests. If it's a Hindu wedding, then it would be kind of weird to see the bride in yesterday's dress, to be honest since it's the norm that she will have a few outfit changes throughout the wedding day. If you are Indian, then you already know better and I'd get a colorful dress or a lightweight lengha for the reception unless you want the aunties to be talking about you until the next scandal.

@Barbara sorry, but you're wrong-- it's still really weird for a Hindu woman to wear an all-white dress during her wedding. South Indian women do wear a red, white, and gold sari or lengha for part of the ceremony, but it is NEVER all white. She is perfectly welcome to change into A gown, but not a white gown, and not a gown that her guests have already seen her wear.

Also want to add that white is not just the "color of mourning" but that widows specifically wear all white . . .

Hi Guys, Thanks for your comments.

To clarify, I'm not Indian and there would be only few traditional Indian people in my wedding. Actually, I'm thinking my fiance is afraid I might upset his mom and dad.

But for me is very special to use my wedding gown again since I always dream about dancing on it, throw the bouquet in my dress and the whole enchilada. Does this decision should be just mine and my bf? or giving up and save my bf a disagreement with his mom.

BTW. i have already compromise not having a catholic wedding,instead we will just have a representation of it. My MIL have picked invitations and have a 80 of input in the planning (indian dress, select of menu, select of vendors, etc. and they are paying for a 1/3 of the wedding)

Thank you all

It sucks that you've had to compromise so much :-(. Could you wear it with a colorful sash or colored earrings or shoes? I think that would be fine, especially if it has some beading on it so that it's not all plain stark white. Could FH talk to his parents and reinforce that it's your wedding, too, and it's your dream to do these things in your dress? Good luck!

I think it's fine, I have seen a few weddings where the bride has done this (groom indian and bride is not). Judging from your profile it sounds like the wedding is in CA and you are American so I don't see why you can't follow some of your own countries customs...

ETA:

http://www.stylemepretty.com/2013/03/29/california-wedding-from-tyler-branch-photo-bride-and-bloom/

http://www.stylemepretty.com/2013/04/01/ojai-wedding-from-lacie-hansen/

http://www.stylemepretty.com/2013/04/16/san-francisco-indian-wedding-from-alisha-brook-photographers/

http://www.stylemepretty.com/california-weddings/2013/03/27/calistoga-ranch-wedding-from-julie-kay-kelly-photography/

There are a few episodes of "Who's wedding is it anyways" that have Indian/Western receptions and ceremonies. One that I watched the Indian/Pakistani bride didn't wear red but instead wore a white lengha with a lot of beading. Also, in south asian culture the wedding is more for the parents than the couple so that might be why you're having a bit of culture clash. I like Fluffy's idea to add a colorful sash to your dress, but I also think your future husband should help you out and communicate your thoughts to his parents and find out what they think/what ideas they have about it. I think if you let him know why its so important to you he'll be more willing to compromise.

Check your mailbox, Lorena. I invited you to connect, which I think will land there like a PM (private message) would.

DH is Indian, and we ended up having to do a western wedding here and another in India. I'm happy to give you some suggestions/ideas.

Yeah, its ashame that you have to deal with so much stress for your special day. I think there should be some compromising going on. I wish you all the best, I am sure any tradition you follow you will be a beautiful bride no matter what. OK!

Enjoy your day to the fullest!

I can see it from all views....1. it's ur wedding, wear what you want to and whats comfortable.

2. i think white is what is worn to funerals in India? Correct me if i'm wrong..so it might seem weird to your Indian guests...maybe compromise for a killer red gown??

I'm undecided about it...i think either way you go, your days will be amazing and you will look gorgeous!!

Thank you guys,

All of you are amazing. I spoke with my FH and he agrees that I should wear whatever makes me feel happy, comfortable and myself. Those are the words that a girl needs to hear from a partner.

Thanks for taking the time to answer the post.

have a great day!

Best,

Lorena

Surely even the traditional Indian guests are aware of the Western white gown tradition. I think it will be neat and unexpected to see your wardrobe cchanges. I like the white gown idea. I wouldnt add color to placate anyone since you are wearing traditional clothing before you change

You totally change if you want to!

It's becoming really popular to wear a wedding sari and then a white dress after.

here are couple weddings i love:

http://thebigfatindianwedding.com/2013/natalie-rahuls-stylish-maine-fusion-wedding/

http://www.asianweddingideas.co.uk/izzy/ (scroll a third of the way down)

I agree with Fluffy about the concept of a complete white dress. Switch to wedding gown or some other dress but prefer that it's not white. Try contacting http://www.vivahlounge.com/ for some advice or help for the Indian part of the wedding. Good luck.