2 hour beer and wine at reception

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Which will create a mad dash to the bar. People like to drink and will be paying more attention to when the booze is free than when important things are happening at your wedding.

No one made you invite 180 people, so the cost is not exactly being forced on you so much as you not planning properly guest list wise.

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We cut our cake at our sweet heart table with our photographer...I don't even think we announced it.

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Parents made the guest list. Parents don't want to pay tons of money for the wedding. I'm stuck with what I have.

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Yeah I guess that's an option. I'd still want people to be attentive for the toasts/speeches and first dance though...

View Quoted Comment I’ve never paid attention to the cake cutting at any wedding I’ve been to. We had a choreographed first dance and my own MIL didn’t watch it. So I wouldn’t get caught up on these things. 6:30-8:30 will be the easiest and least confusing for everyone.

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Cake cutting and first dances really are the best times to go to the bar....

I agree that it seems like you are trying to not host your guests properly. If you can't afford open beer and wine for the night then you shouldn't have invited 180 people. The open bar should be grouped together and make it very well known so if people want to get 2-3 drinks at a time 'for their friends', they can and therefore can stock up essentially for later. That is what has happened at literally every wedding I've been to where the bar was only open for a short period of time.

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I would do the toasts and dances before dinner. Then open the bar when dinner starts. The bar can be open during the cake cutting cause that takes like two minutes and honestly, most people don't care anyway.

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Agree with this. We did toasts before dinner and it was perfect. I think people are more likely to watch them that way too. We did cake cutting and dances after dinner and that was fine for us. We also had an open bar all night through so that wasn't an object for us. I don't think most people watched our cake cutting, but it honestly doesn't matter lol. I usually don't watch the cake cutting at the weddings I've been to.

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The speeches and toasts didn't go too long that people were like, starving?

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Not at all! But we did have a cocktail hour prior to our reception while we were taking sunset pictures. Our apps were fairly light though. We had 3 passed apps (crab rangoon, bruschetta, and coconut chicken tenders). Our ceremony started at 5 pm, our cocktail hour was from 5:45-6:45 pm, grand entrance at 6:45, toasts and welcome speech immediately following that, and the buffet opened up at 7:05ish.

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Hm... Okay. Maybe it might be better to push back dinner to 7pm? Then people have a full hour before it starts? Gives us enough time to settle in, make our entrance?

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There shouldn't be "speeches", only toasts. And those toasts should be kept short - no more than about 2 minutes each and the number of toasts should be limited to 2 or maybe 3 people (best man and MOH and maybe a parent or you/FS). If you have more people who want to give a toast then have them do it at the rehearsal dinner. As PPs have said, your guests do not want to sit and watch several minutes of toasts, cake cutting, first dance, etc. They will want to socialize, eat and get drinks. I agree with PPs that you need to find a better way to offer beer and wine to your guests without making them open their wallet.

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I think 7pm is a late dinner without a cocktail hour with passed appetizers keeping them somewhat fed until dinner. Our ceremony is at 5:30pm, cocktail hour with 6 passed appetizers from 6pm-7pm, then dinner after that. We haven't figured out a dinner start time just yet but we for sure wouldn't make them wait until 7pm without some food before.

Our entrance is at 5:45, we're doing our first dance and one or two speeches and serving dinner at 6. Even if you add father/daughter and mother/son dances, you shouldn't have to push dinner much further back than 6:30.

I don't know about other people, but my fiance could easily get drunk on beer in 2 hours and I could easily get drunk on 4-5 glasses of wine in 2 hours. It isn't super typical for us, but if we knew it was 2 hours we may drink more than normal so I'm not sure if that will stop people from getting drunk. Are you having a cocktail hour? I'd start the bar before/during dinner so people can drink with dinner. I'd make it very clear though so people know it's only for two hours.

I feel that the 2 hours of drinks is more problematic than you'd think it should be. It won't stop people from getting drunk. In fact, it might even make people drunker faster. If guests know that the open bar is limited they will just load up at the beginning.

As for not wanting guests at the bar while you're doing the cake, first dance, etc.. I have to agree with PPs that you should adjust your expectations on that because most guests don't care too much about watching those things.

Also, I don't think you should push dinner to 7. If you're not having a cocktail hour then your guests will be hungry. Plus you definitely won't need that much time for toasts. There should only be 2 toasts, 3 max. And they should all be well under 5 minutes each. Speeches and toasts are also something guests notoriously hate when they're long and drawn out. They just want to drink, dance, and mingle. The rest of the wedding traditions are superfluous to them.

Keep it open for the first two hours then switch to cash bar. If you split it up, your guests will be really confused.

I really don't see how #3 is a thing. The bar will be open all night, the only difference is who's paying for the drinks in everyone's hands. There will be alcohol everywhere, all night. Your church friends who are uncomfortable with alcohol won't be comfortable after your open bar ends, because the bar is still open.

I've never seen anything like this at a wedding and it sounds super confusing to me. I don't think it will keep people from getting drunk (at all) and I don't see how this would make church people happy ..... as there will be alcohol all evening. The only difference is who is paying for it. I went to a wedding once and got 2 drink tickets (after which I paid for drinks). I didn't really like that either but it sounds better than what you're suggesting which seems like random times of free drinks vs cash drinks and you're SOL if you order a drink at one of the unlucky times. I had a full evening of free beer and wine (5:30pm to midnight) for 185 guests and I didn't pay what you quoted in one of your earlier comments. It was less expensive than $5000.