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Alicia
Just Said Yes December 2019

2 Ceremonies 😭 Help!

Alicia, on July 5, 2019 at 4:03 AM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 3
Ok so here’s the issue, I live on Maui, as do all my wedding party(except a couple) and MY family. But we moved to NC for a year to take care of my sick grandmother and grandfather who both will not come to Hawaii. Plus the grooms family and friends are all in the Carolinas. We want to have a Christmas wedding this year, and then our MAIN wedding next November in Maui. The issue: none of my family or bridesmaids can come to a wedding here. My grandparents want the wedding here(my grandpa wants to marry us since he’s a Pastor). My groom also wants something here for his side who can’t travel to Hawaii. So I need help😭 should I do a massive engagement party here and one ceremony? Or do the two? I feel like they are so far apart, and my real wedding I want in Maui.

3 Comments

Latest activity by Clíodhna, on July 8, 2019 at 7:07 AM
  • Cherraine
    Just Said Yes September 2020
    Cherraine ·
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    People have two ceremonies for many reasons. People get married at court and then have a big ceremony later. Certain cultures have a traditional wedding and a “white” wedding. It’s not as strange as you may think. I would remove the thought of having the “main” wedding from your thought process because it’s all important. If you have a wedding to celebrate with your husband’s family where your grandfather marries you, that’s huge! His blessing and wisdom being poured into your marriage is precious, vital and irreplaceable. You will be married too! Then doing another ceremony with all the glitz and glam with your family will have a totally different feel. Both are special and both are important. Whatever you decide to do, do it in such a way that honors the people you value and love.
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    Do two! You’ll have the best of both worlds (technically, Maui will be a vow renewal which should be on your invites but think of it as your real wedding if you wish). What a blessing your grandparents are still on this earth and your grandpa wants to officiate (I’m tearing up. So sweet). Your NC wedding sounds sweet & intimate. Then have your wedding/bridal party for your Maui wedding.

    If possible, it would be wonderful for both of your parents to attend both weddings. I would honestly budget to help them out with flights and cut some things from the budget (photo booth, do a brunch wedding instead of evening wedding). To have wedding photos with both parents present at both events is priceless!
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  • Clíodhna
    WeddingWire Administrator January 2030
    Clíodhna ·
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    Hi there Alicia!

    Firstly, welcome to the WeddingWire community Smiley smile

    Wonderful advice from the PPs, I totally agree with them.

    You can totally have your wedding in NC this Christmas with your grandparents and FS's family. It sounds like it will be a beautiful intimate affair and means a lot to your grandparents. How sweet it will be for your grandfather to officiate!

    Next year you can have your vow-renewal in Maui and have the dream wedding you’ve always wanted with the wedding party, your family, etc. You can think of your renewal as your real wedding if you wish. There are no rules for a vow renewal, you can plan as large of a party as you like!

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