18 year old married couple

View Quoted Comment

Lol sure, there are exceptions to every rule, but I sure AF wouldn't say "millions" of 18-year-olds have enough life experience to make adult decisions. Even if you decide not to go to college after high school (and I did say have either been to college or started working), you still have no experience at 18. You're still a child.

View Quoted Comment

No, technically and politically speaking, they are very much adults. Maybe not the ones you have interacted with, but they absolutely are.

We're generalizing if an 18 year old is mature or not, when many are. I sure as hell handled many things at 18 that many 30 year old's couldn't. It depends. We can't say they aren't adults, just because we assume they're "immature".

View Quoted Comment

"18 year olds are children that think they're adults but they're not."

YAASSSSSS! thank you!!!

View Quoted Comment I can relate to this so much. My first husband is Army and joined at 19. The stress from trainings alone was tough, but it was nothing compared to his tour overseas. He came back a completely different person. Ultimately, though we had some issues before he left, the person he became and what he became capable of is why we aren’t married anymore.

View Quoted Comment

Technically and politically speaking, you, as an 18 year-old, are an adult. Point blank.

Your perception of them being a "child" is just that - a perception.

And yes, we live in the United States - with over 325 million people. I'm going to go out on a limb and say "millions" of 18 year-old's.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this, and because of it, who am I to really say anyone shouldn’t be getting married?

Some people might say 21 is too young, some might say 25, some might say 30. Everyone has their own plan and their own reasons and it’s okay to not agree.

I personally was in no position to get married at 18, and I wouldn’t advice someone close to me to either, but I also don’t think it’s the absolute worst thing. I have a friend who is 7 or 8 years older than me who isn’t engaged yet but probably will be soon. Her and I had similar “requirements” for when we wanted to get married (school, jobs, house; etc) and she started all that a bit later than I did. My point is, we all lead our lives differently so your “right time” and mine aren’t the same.

View Quoted Comment

Ok, this is obviously pushing a very sensitive button for you, and I have no interest in continuing to go around in circles.

I think 18 is a little young to get married. People mature and grow no matter what, the person I was at 18, 21, 24 is not the same person I am now (29). There’s no need to rush into marriage at 18.

I began dating my FH at 21 and we have both grown so much. We’ve been together now for over 8 years and it hasn’t always been easy. I feel like if we were married (when we were younger) it would have felt like a regret instead of a decision we both made.

View Quoted Comment

Equally as sensitive for you, I see, as you continue to respond.

I’m kinda biased because I’ll be 20 when we get married, but honestly I don’t see how it’s anyones business.
And to the person who said that 18 year olds don’t have “life experience”, by that time we had moved out together, gone through a family death, and paid our bills with our very good jobs, so 🤷‍♀️

Like I am 38 in a few weeks and I wake up every day like WTF am I doing (in general, not pertaining to my upcoming marriage).

View Quoted Comment You understand that you guys are the exception and not the rule, though, right? I mean, my husband became a homeowner at 18 because his mom passed away and so he inherited her house. He wouldn’t say that all 18 year olds are fine to be homeowners though.

View Quoted Comment

It's "someone's business" because we are all apart of the same society. Many young marriages end in divorce. Many young, divorced, working, single moms end up needing government assistance, which directly impacts our communities and government that our tax dollars pay into. The old saying "it takes a village to raise a child" is still very relevant. Every decision that people make end up affecting society as a whole.

I am in no way saying this in a negative way or trying to stereotype young moms. "Stuff" happens and that's what these programs are there for. However, sometimes people can avoid falling on hard times by making smart personal decisions. I just want you and other posters to see how your actions contribute to the world as a whole.

I couldn't even imaging being married at 18. That actually sounds awful to me, like leaving a party at 9 before it had really started. That's the age that people magically think they can 'adult' yet have no experience actually doing so. Honestly I am questioning if i got married too young at 26 right now. My BF at age 18 and I would have been divorced quickly. You will grow and change so much in your early 20s, and I have changed even more in the past couple of years. If you love each other now, you will still love each other In a few years.

I would definitely say that the baseline is graduating from college to get married. While young marriages get a lot of bad rep, I feel there can be a lot of benefits of marrying young if you are both mature, financially independent, able to compromise, and not codepedent. We are always finding ourselves, but the benefit of marrying younger (early twenties, but not 18) is that you can grow together with less adjustment and pain. Just my 2 cents.

If everyone can stay civil I actually find this to be an interesting and informative conversation/debate to keep reading about.
I’ll be 23 when we get married. I definitely think we’re on the younger side, which gives me no right to judge someone just a few years younger than me. That being said, 18 gave me time to live on my own and expand my world. 19 was a terrible year for me and I was too dependent on FH for comfort. After a year of a tough time things got better. We moved in together when I was 20, and the first 8 months or so were a difficult adjustment for me. We got engaged about a year after that, when I was 22, and I feel so much more confident in our relationship and my own personal growth. For the past year and a half or so, I’ve really felt like marriage is the natural next step. It took a little while to grow up and figure out lives out, and now we are truly and genuinely happy in the lives we’ve created for ourselves.
It also depends on your personal goals and how you want to see your lives in the future. This isn’t our top reason for getting married, but it does help...we want to have kids on the younger side for a variety of reasons, and think we should be able to commit to marriage before committing to raising a family together. Just one example of people’s differences and goals.

I don’t necessarily think all 18 year olds are “too young” per se to get married. I’ve seen plenty of successful marriages of high school sweethearts, and i’ve seen plenty of young marriages fail as well.

I personally could not picture myself being married at 18. I was just experiencing living on my own, going through college and balancing work/school. I wanted that time to be “selfish” and focus on who I wanted to be as an adult.

I met my now FH at 19 and he’s still the love of my life. I’m happy we waited a couple years before deciding to get married. We bought our first home at 20 and 25 so we were able to experience living together and dealing with the stress of being new home owners. We both ended up in our field of work that we were striving towards and feel comfortable where we are right now in life. We’ve talked about our 5 year plan, 10 year plan, our wants and needs, whether or not we want kids and how many kids we do want. I think these are all huge factors in whether or not you are ready to be married.

If there is every a doubt in your mind on whether or not you are ready - chances are you should wait until you're 100% sure. There is no need to ever rush into anything.

There’s so many things on this thread that I could comment on buttttt I won’t. In my opinion no one knows the couple more than they know themselves and their relationship. If you want to get married at 18 go for it, if you want to get married at 50 go for it.

View Quoted Comment Haha me too! I’m glad I’m not the only one. 😂

I am a big believer in waiting until you are at least 25. Your brain hasn't matured until then. Your life circumstances are likely to change as you go through college/trade school, establishing a career, etc.

Note that this is not about how mature you are. (Although all 18-year-olds think they are more mature than average.) But given that your chances of staying married are much higher if you wait, the mature decision is to wait.