Lisa signed up for online dating over the summer of 2010. She just wasn't meeting eligible men in her normal circles, even though she was involved with the American Legion Auxiliary and troop support charity Soldiers' Angels. After a year, she was about to give up when a friend suggested she try a different site. So, in June 2011, she created a profile on Match.com.
Kevin had taken a hiatus from dating after ending a long-term relationship. After allowing himself a year on his own, he decided it was time to jump back in. He signed up on Match.com in early September 2011.
Shortly after Kevin signed up, he was matched up with Lisa. Lisa didn't always have the time to take a close look at her new matches. So, in order to keep things moving, she would skim the profiles of her matches, checking a couple of key "deal-breaker" fields and make those who passed this first hurdle as a "Maybe" until she was able take the time to properly review the match in-depth. Kevin made it past this first screening and Lisa liked his smile. He was marked as a "Maybe".
Before Lisa had the opportunity to take that closer look, she received a communication from Kevin on September 14th. About two weeks later, on October 2, 2011, they met in person for the first time at a Starbuck's to see if they clicked. They had their first official date seven days later.
Kevin's work didn't allow him a lot of time to get out and meet women so he signed up on several different dating sites but couldn't find anyone he really liked. That is until he joined Match.com. Within the first hour on the site he found Lisa's profile.
Kevin was captivated by her smile and liked that they shared many things in common. He sent her a message and waited for her response, really hoping she liked him too. He was elated when he received her response (although he had a wry laugh over the "maybe" policy when he learned of it months later!).
He rememebrs that first meeting. Lisa did all the talking! He got about three lines in edgewise! It was obvious she was nervous but he found it charming and knew he wanted a real date with Lisa.
After several dates, Kevin and Lisa took a trip to San Antonio, had a picnic in Brackenridge Park, spent the day at the San Antonio Zoo then had dinner on the Riverwalk. It was the closest thing to a perfect day Kevin had ever had! By the end of the night, Kevin KNEW he was going to marry Lisa. She didn't know it yet, but he did!
But things weren't all perfect. Not long after Kevin and Lisa's relationship was put to the test when Kevin became gravely ill. He was diagnosed with advanced heart disease and required extensive coronary bypass surgery. Like a God sent angel Lisa was right by his side through the surgery and the long and painful recovery.
In mid February Kevin proposed. I think you know what Lisa's answer was!
Kevin's Story
So I started out writing this with the intent of just making it a quick autobiographical timeline of what’s been the best time of my life but anytime I think about Lisa, the many reasons why I love her come to mind so I thought I’d just list a few here real quick.
When you meet Lisa for the first time she can be very reserved. Three dates into the relationship I wasn’t even sure if she really liked me yet. But once you get past the surface there is just so much there. I’m not really sure I can adequately quantify all the things that make me love her but there are two that stand above all the rest.
The first time I ever saw Lisa was in her photo on Match.com. She just has this….smile….and eyes…that go beyond external, heck even internal beauty. There’s a mischief and knowledge there counterbalanced by an innocence and wisdom that she’s managed to hold onto from childhood coupled with the promise of what life could be if you are just the right guy…. then you realize…YOU ARE THAT GUY! And the world spins! If you look at any photo of Lisa from early childhood all the way up to today, she has the same smile!
The second thing…well…. you know I actually wrote all of this before, but my connection crashed during the upload and it never got posted. Uncharacteristically for me, I also didn’t save a copy, so “my story” was pretty much lost forever.
Well as you can imagine, Lisa, especially after staying after me for weeks to get it done the first time around, wasn’t too pleased. She wanted me to just re-do it right away, but if you know me at all, then you know my typical reaction to that. It was something along the lines of “BLEEEEEEEPPP!! Son of a BLEEEEEPPP!! I hate this BLEEEP-ing machine! Burn in Hell Steve Jobs and may all the descendants of the founders of Sun Microsystems, the creators of OpenOffice and that Swedish guy who thinks he invented the Web be roasted on spits next to him!” Well, that MAY be just a WEE bit of an exaggeration. Since we share our current home with Lisa’s parents, I’m pretty sure my bleeps were a lot cleaner, or at least lower case, but you get the idea.
And that makes me think about the second thing I love most about my Pretty Lady. How when I get frustrated, or irritated, or just in general overwhelmed by the absurd detail required of life, she just looks at me, puts her hand on my arm and says something like…”Ok, next time, just write it in a Word document first and make sure you save…” To which I grunt “Uhhh, what?” and she says, “I love you! You can do this. Now get it done.”
On the surface it would look like she’s just putting up with her temperamental fiancé, or “calling me on my BS” to quote the cliché, but it’s so much more than that, what passes between us. What Lisa does for me quite simply, is to help me to see…. me. That’s a little simplistic, so I’ll try to explain.
I think if you asked any woman who loves a man to name the things that make her love him she could give you a list. Thing is, a man has no clue. We can’t see these things from inside of our own heads. The view is just too clouded by our own self obsessions and doubts and fears and the next episode of SportsCenter (or as is more likely in my particular case, the next episode of Star Trek) or how we’re going to fix that squeaky thing in the corner or why did all those words I just spent over two hours pouring my heart and soul into just disappear into The Cloud forever! Bleeeep! You know what I mean?
Lisa makes me stop, look, and TRULY SEE those things in me. This in turn, makes me want to TRULY BE those things, to TRULY be THAT man. The best way I’ve ever heard it put was in the movies. I can’t think of any better way to say it, so I’ll just quote the line from the one and only scene in any film which can make me openly squirt a tear and not give a rat’s you know what who sees it. It’s from “As Good as it Gets” when Helen Hunt asks Jack Nicholson for a compliment at dinner and he responds with a rambling explanation of why he’s there with her and sums it up by saying....
“You make me want to be a better man.”
(snif)
That’s how Lisa makes me feel, and the standard she holds me to, day in and day out.
So in September of 2011 I decided that after a year of near monastic solitude working to get my heart, mind and soul right following a very bad long term relationship, it was time to date again. As a partner in a business and a contract employee of another, I didn’t really have time to get out so as many do in this day and age, I started online. I joined several dating sites including Match.com. I reached out to several women, but when I saw Lisa, I was compelled, by that wonderful photo (she HAS to post it here on the site so you can see what I mean!) to attempt contact. I also read the rest of the profile of course, and was comforted to know we were of a similar mind and worldview on all the important stuff.
I was thrilled when she actually replied! (Although I would later find out I was already in her “maybe” stack for a while and it was the timing of my message that got through to her before she was able to sort through the rest of the maybe stack that got her attention. Point for Kevin!) So we communicated for a couple weeks then decided to meet. I’ll never forget a single detail of that first meeting.
I had run all the way South to the Starbucks at Mopac and slaughter Ln after Sunday mass. I was raised by a military dad, so to me, being on time is 15 minutes late. I therefore, go almost everywhere thirty minutes early (drives Lisa nuts! She calls it KST – Kevin Standard time). So I got there, realized I had half an hour, it was lunchtime and I hadn’t eaten and surely there was time for a sandwich before Lisa arrived.
So of course my mouth was stuffed with chicken salad when Lisa walked up, fifteen minutes early (which ironically, under KST, is right on time!). So once I was able to, I swallowed and greeted her “Hi! You must be Lisa! I’m Kevin.” Those were virtually the last words I’d get to say all afternoon. Lisa, I came to understand later on after we looked back laughing, talks when she is nervous, a LOT! I barely got a word in edgewise, but was intrigued enough to enjoy listening. At the end of the meeting we decided to have a real date.
One week later we met at Main Event and played mini golf. She kicked my ass! We talked a long time, and the conversation was MUCH more two sided. A week after that our third date, then our fourth, and our first kiss!
Then we took a trip to San Antonio and spent a beautiful day at the San Antonio Zoo. Lisa made a picnic lunch, which we enjoyed in the park beforehand, and after the visit we went to the Riverwalk for dinner. It was a perfect day! The best of my life so far. By the time I got home that night, I knew I was going to marry Lisa. And if that didn’t clinch it, then it would have been the first time Lisa visited my home and my cats Milhouse and Fuzzy took right to her! That’s an important test in any relationship right? Love me love my pets!
So things moved along through Thanksgiving when my major health crisis began. I’d been under care for a heart condition for several weeks and was just about to go into the hospital for a cathetrization. Two caths later and I found out just how bad things really were. I wound up getting major, major surgery, a quintuple bypass!
Lisa was by my side every day! Afterward, when I was unable to be on my own for weeks, she convinced her parents to let me move in and take care of me. I don’t know if I can ever adequately express my gratitude to Jim and Cathy Luhrman. What do you say to the people who take you in when you are most in need? Simple “thank you” just doesn’t seem nearly enough.
Over the course of my recovery I lost my contract job because I was unable to work and then lost my apartment, being unable to pay the rent with no income. I had my business but it wasn’t bringing anything in. Again, Lisa and her family took me in. I moved in during the month of February.
I proposed to Lisa in our own very special little spot in late February, and of course, if you’re reading this, you know what her answer was!
